2006-06-29 05:55:19 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Every answer that everyone had given has gone through my head. I guess I was naive when I was younger, but the cheating got really bad when he retired and learned how to search the internet for available women. And there are a bunch of ready and willing people out there. I guess you are all right. I should leave. There is no trust anymore.
2006-06-29 06:07:03 · update #1
If I had lived with it for that long, I'd see no reason to leave now!
2006-06-29 05:56:48 · answer #1 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it has gotten worse, and you see no end in site, and no resolution between the two of you then I would say to leave. Some say why leave now, you have done it for so long, but it is never to late. If there is no more trust and he has gone as far as to search the internet looking for someone, he is not going to stop. Some men have an affair with someone they meet, spend time with but if he is looking on line for someone, he is not going to be faithfull again. I am sorry, and I know it is hard, but you will feel such a sense of accomplishemt when you leave and are on your own. Good luck!
2006-06-29 13:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by EB&Js 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd leave a cheating spouse if we were married for one month or fifty years. Because you are asking this question, it would seem that it bothers you. You don't have to put up with cheaters. Aside from the risk of diseases, it's a serious breach of trust.
We only have a limited amount of time in our life. Even if we all live to 100, there are just so many hours in the day. While he is chatting up other women, he is taking time away from you. Let's say he's spending one hour a day online.
That's one hour that he's not using to nurture a relationship with you. It's also an hour of time that's taking him further away from you. That's a net loss of two hours. Everything in life is in motion, nothing stagnates. If you two are walking down a sidewalk together, you're in sync.
However, if you keep walking west for one hour, and he walks east for one hour - you are now two hours apart in walking time. When you're not in alignment, distances can become larger rather quickly.
Don't let him waste your time. You deserve to find someone who respects you, your time and your needs. If you choose not to find someone else, then you owe it to yourself to nurture your own needs.
backpackingthroughdivorce.blogspot.com
2006-06-29 13:16:00 · answer #3 · answered by BackpackerTD 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is really sad of you to let these people determine how you are going to end a life that you have had for 35 years you need to remember something GOD forgives for things greater than that why not try to look at how he has treated you for all your years and if you come up with more negatives than a positive than do what you want to do if you want to stay and work on forgiving him than do that and if you want to leave then leave. i know society says if he cheats then leave but only you will feel your pain after it is all said ans done, and any how half of these people divorce for far less serious things than that, and the rest are not mature enough to give a seasoned woman advice so i choose not to and to pray you do what is best for you i am 30 married for 7yrs and i will battle for mine no matter what and my husband says the same!
2006-06-29 13:57:25 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely not. Girl everyone makes mistakes here and there. I know this was a huge mistake to your marriage but I dont think it has to end all the good times Im sure you had. Forgive but be very mindful. Try and see where you went wrong. Now if it becomes a habit then you need to kick him to the curb cause he just has a sickness.You dont need constant mistreatment. Girl do what I do when Im in need. Take it to the lord in prayer. He'll answer you questions and will help you see the light.
2006-06-29 13:15:19 · answer #5 · answered by Gyrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how long this has been going on and you knew about it.
My mother finally left a man after years of abuse. She was able to live on her own for the first time ever in her life before we had to put her into foster care because dementia is getting worse.
We are so happy she was able to be alone for a short time. No kids to worry about and no man to worry about.
She was lonely but also enjoyed being alone. Worth thinking about if your not happy where you are. And you might find someone else to enjoy your golden years with.
2006-06-29 13:02:52 · answer #6 · answered by B D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in a heart beat .. I have been with my husband 17teen years only married 5 . but I would not be able to look at him the same , nor have sex with him .. it would run threw my mind that ( he is thinking about her , com pairing me to her , ) the trust would be gone .. once a cheater always a cheater .. if he loved you like I am sure he is telling you he does , he would of never cheated , why would you want to hurt some you love ? unless the love is gone . if you forgive him you are telling him that it is OK to do it again ..
2006-06-29 13:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by blueflowerscs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY!!!!! I was married to my husband for 15 years we are currently seperated he started cheating on me about a year or two after we married and like most women i took my marriage vows seriously apparently he didnt he was having sex with a 13 year old girl. he went to jail for that but I stayed with him till he finally left me again after ten years of marriage he left me for who i thought was my best friend. Now im happy with my new man that doesnt cheat a new life and a brand new baby boy. while my hubby and i are still married currently. getting divorced in november .By the way hes now dating my 20 year old sister and hes 42!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-29 13:53:22 · answer #8 · answered by midnight_gypsy_rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left a wife of 25 yrs, cuz she cheated and i did not feel it would end there and I did not wish to lower myself to that level...I want out of life what I at least put into it..not sloppy seconds. It is alot to end now...but I seek quality years not quantity of years.
2006-06-29 13:06:59 · answer #9 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Cheating is cheating. If he can cheat on me and we have been married for 35 years, I can leave him for cheating while married for 35 years. Cheating is a lack of respect and honor for your marital vows.
2006-06-29 13:02:17 · answer #10 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep.. I couldn't ever trust him again.. about anything.. I would always be wondering if what he was saying was the truth... I don't care how long we had been married... I would be more mad knowing that after thrity five years of marriage he didn't respect me enough after that long to not cheat..
2006-06-29 13:00:00 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋