i kno its a big diffrence but in tha long run it wont matter i have been with my bf fer a while and i love him so much..but some of my friends are startin 2 dislike me and him hes not a bad guy at all and im not gonna break up with him .....wut do i do with my friends?
2006-06-29 05:30:09 · 47 answers · asked by jessica m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You get the hell out of there.
2006-06-29 05:32:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in this situation at 14.. Bad, bad situation.. Here's what I now know.. men.. 21-year old MEN do not date 14 year old GIRLS because they are soooo in love with them.. It's also illegal.. and if any relationship ostricizes you from your friends- it's time to really think about it.
You say you been with him for awhile?? What's awhile- 2 weeks, a month?? This is a man... and I will bet CASH money- he has a whole other life going on.. and if not- that's SCARIER. Think about this.. this guy is done with school, been an adult already for like 3 years.. you been a 'teenager' for only 2 years..
Or.. think of it this way.. he was 6 years old- in school and on his way when you were born..
I think the whole 'age doesn't make a difference' is when people are both consenting adults..
Bringing it back to my own story.. I was 14, and got with a 21 year old man who preyed on my when I was going thru the HARDEST time of my life.. he was uneducated- and lived with his Dad.. he more or less used me as a sex slave.. for 3.5 years.. I actually MARRIED him when I turned 18.. do u know what I found out on my wedding night?? He had a 'family' (not a wife) but a g/f and twin boys.. since before we went out.. he was also cheating with a few other girls he worked with at this bar..
Then.. icing on the cake.. we were on our honeymoon (which was cheesy- a weekend in a local hotel) he left to get some fast food- didn't come back until the next afternoon.. (he HAD to go see his g/f and sons- because she didn't know about me..)
All my friends told me long ago how uncomfortable they were about this, and things they picked up on- but it didnt' matter to me and my LOVE.. I lost my best friends- friends I had for many years.. and now.. I wish I would have at least listened to their concerns..
My 'marriage' to Mr. Jerk lasted 1 month.
I got re-married- and have now been married for 12 years.. So I know the difference between real and using..
Be smart- to funk up a big chunk of your life- a very FUN part of your life- the teen/high-school years with bad news..
2006-06-29 05:52:00 · answer #2 · answered by Glitter Pimpstress (G.P.) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is kind of in the same situation. Her BF is 19 and she is 16, a lot of people are against it but the are in love. They have been together for 2 1/2 years, they are making plans that when my daughter hits 19 they are getting married. In the same respect you being only 14 & him 21 your parents should be the ones to tell you if this is ok to them, it is against the law in Ca.
2006-06-29 05:38:43 · answer #3 · answered by MISSY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You listen to reason, that would be your friends and I doubt very seriously this relationship will continue if your parents knew about it....this is not a long term attraction...your interests and needs will expand as you enter high school...and your bf what have found a whole other adult life without you....there is just to much growing to be accomplished before you can emotionally handle such a age difference..if you were 21 and he 28...that would be a whole difference situation..not at 14.
2006-06-29 05:38:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your friends are right to be concerned. A 21 year old man is nothing like say a 16 year old boy. If you are 14 and having sex, he could go to jail on pedophile charges.
Be firm but fair with your friends, tell them that you respect the reasons why they dont like your boyfriend and that you appreciate their advice, but also let them know that it is your boyfriend and that they do not see the other side of your relationship with him.
As far as general advice....
Maybe you should ask yourself why someone that much older than you is interested in you. I'm sure you guys have lots of common interest, but at 21 he is legal and allowed to do things that you shouldnt be exposed to quite yet. If he loves you, he will wait until you are at least 16 to start seriously dating you. Hanging out and having fun is fine, but please, becareful.
2006-06-29 05:34:38 · answer #5 · answered by *meh* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let your friends know that you love him and that he is a good guy. Introduce your friends to him or just hang around with your friends and your bf, that will break the ice!. If your friends still dislike him then you seriously do not need friends like those. If your friends were REAL friends then they would not even worry and let you be happy not judge you or dislike you.
As long as you are safe and careful in the relationship then you need nothing to worry about. If you feel you are slipping away due to the age gap or anything else then you need to end it. Ask yourself; Are you happy?
2006-06-29 05:38:37 · answer #6 · answered by Raj B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look you are 14..He is 21..something is wrong with him to be be with such a young girl and i say girl..no offense but you are not a woman yet..not even a young woman..He has no buisness being with you, In most states he could be arrested for child molestation! Trust me..he has taken advantage of you in the worst possible way!..Get rid of him for good! You are only 14. Dont let him spoil your perception of teenage dating and innocence in the future. He's a loser.I know you think you're mature enough and can handle him fine..but im sorry to say you are wrong. It will all come back to hurt you later if you continue with this older guy..Wait til you're older..like 18 or older to be with older guys..Be a teenager Now. Listen to yor friends..they seem to have your best interest at heart.
2006-06-29 05:52:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you were asking what to do about your friends. But you are in for a long mess if you stay with this guy. The best advice any one can give you is to wait to date him until you are 18, not 16 and definately do not have sex with him until you are legal. I am seriously concerned for you now. When I was 11 a 15 year old guy try to kiss me and thats only a 4 year difference and he wanted more than that... they are into things you do not need to be into, you will only find trouble if you stay. I am so sorry to tell you this, but if it is love then it will stand the test of time. Your relationship is not worth him going to jail and you losing friends, respect and your reputation. You have so many great dating years ahead...please please please rethink this!!! I am reallllly worried for you. If you are caught, he will go to jail, and your parents will crack down on you like no other...be safe..no sex, stay away and think of your future and his future...he would be in jail for a long time and you would not be allowed to see him. Oh my goodness, I get shivers just thinking about it.
2006-06-29 05:44:50 · answer #8 · answered by missesbean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you need to back away from a grown man cause you're going to be the reason he lands in jail!!! You care about him so much, leave him alone. He must be retarded to hang out with a 14 yr old. YOU ARE JAILBAIT and he has alot to lose. It's not a big age difference when you're 25, but you're not! And I'll bet your parents don't know he's hanging around. You're friends are right!!! you're way too young for this guy.
2006-06-29 05:43:30 · answer #9 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young to be dating a 21 year old. That is a grown man, the maturity levels are way different and he will have you doing stuff that you are not mature enough to handle yet. You need to enjoy your youth and focus on more meaningful things because you got your whole life ahead of you. Dating someone this age is a big mistake,you need to date closer to your age. Don't mess things up for yourself while you still have choices in life.
2006-06-29 06:12:42 · answer #10 · answered by T.Mack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your friends are hating or your just spending too much time with your man and not even a drop of your time with your friends. Trust me dont worry about it they'll come around just through a get together with your boyfriend and your friends an let them talk to get to know each other. Your friends just might start liking you again. Oh and if they don't you can always drop him and find a boy your own age.
2006-06-29 05:34:10 · answer #11 · answered by dance_wazup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋