how do i get him to stand up for what he feels?

Question

we had a falling out and his daughter doesn't like me after 6 and a half years. i'm not willing to give up on us but to make his daughter happy he is

Answer 1

Wow, it sounds like his daughter has a tight grip on him for some reason. This is going to be tough but you can do it.

The first thing you need to do is give him and his daughter some space and time (no more than a week).

In the mean time arm yourself with information. You may already know, but find out what happened in their past to give his daughter the upper hand. When the time comes, you can help him to realize that if it was something that he did it wasn't his fault. If it was something done to him, you can show how you are different. If it was something that was done to his daughter, you can show how you are not a threat.

Also think about the falling out you had and try to put yourself in their shoes. Try to figure out what made them so sore. Think about if you could change what you said, what would you have said? Try to think of some empathy statements. If you are afraid of saying the wrong thing, then write it all down. Can you compromise on your standing? If so tell him so.

Go to him and talk to him. Don't blame him for anything and don't attack his daughter's hold on him. Let him know that you are sorry for your part of the argument. Empathize with their position on the issue and try to make peace. Tell him you love him and you are willing to compromise on this issue to continue this good relationship you all have.

I am praying that you all can find your way back to love.

Answer 2

Who's the parent and who's the child? If a man you have been dating for almost seven years would allow his daughter to pick and choose who he dates because she might not like who he's seeing would be a sign of more trouble to come and he wouldn't be worth the headache and stress.

You can't make a grown man do anything but you can stand up for yourself and not allow it to be tolerated by staying in a relationship where the man is willing to give you up to make his daughter happy.

Answer 3

You can only continue to show love to her and hope that one day she realizes how much you do love both her and her dad. Remember that in a relationship such as yours, you are probably shouldering (true or not) the blame for the breakup of her parents. Even if they were not together at the time you and your bf/ husband got together, she sees you as blocking them getting back together.

Eventually, and sometimes this can take years (and may not even happen) she will come to understand that some ppl just were not meant to be together. Try showing her that you are not taking her father away but you are an addition to her life as well as his. When it gets frustrating and it will, take time out for yourself. ANYTHING you say can and will be used against you!!!

I hope it all works out. My bf has a 4 yr old daughter so my probs ain't start yet. Especially as they keep her far away from me so I can't contaminate the air she breathes.

Answer 4

A man that won't stand up for something good , will fall for anything. He HAS to stand up to his daughter......after all, it's his life, not hers. I had to learn that lesson the hard way, and it's one I won't soon forget. Talk to him(I know you have), and try to convince him that his daughter means well, but he can NOT let her run his life. Best of luck to you! Don't give up! You're right, he's wrong!!

Answer 5

you should try and connect with the daughter and become friends most likely she dosent like you because you took her dad away from her so try to be her friend take her shopping buy her some gifts do what it takes to be with the man you love.

Answer 6

Lay it down for him: You want to be a part of his life, but if he's going to wimp out for his daughter, then he leaves no place for you.

Answer 7

so make his daughter happy

Answer 8

I feel your pain being there before and honestly if u cant win her over you are beating a dead horse