2006-06-29 04:57:33 · 45 answers · asked by waterworld 1 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Due to curcumstances - we are both married
2006-06-29 06:02:44 · update #1
Married to someone else...
2006-06-29 06:03:28 · update #2
let go and move on.
2006-07-12 14:15:14 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I first saw your question I thought I would answer it simply because I have been through it before and know exactly how it feels like to have such feelings and the realization that there is no way to be together. But your added details have put a different dimension to it altogether.
Though not married, I totally believe in the sanctity of marriage and the till death do us part bit. There must be a reason why the both of you are not happy with your married lives and have gravitated towards one another. The only way you can be together is by divorcing your spouses and NOT by having an affair (I hope you are not doing that already) because that is the ultimate betrayal to any spouse. Please do not put your spouse through that kind of pain.
If you two do not plan to get out of your respective marriages, there is only one thing you can do. End the relationship. It will not bring any good to either of you. It will be painful and you may feel that you cannot bring yourself to do it but in reality, you can and you must. Then look at your marriage and analyze what has happened. Work on what you already have and not what you cannot have.
2006-06-29 19:18:43 · answer #2 · answered by reformed_witch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People seem to forget that 2 people marry because they love each other at a certain moment and they want to make each other happy, among other things. I would hate to make my spouse unhappy because I don't love him anymore and I don't tell him. I was in your situation and I knew we could not get together in future. There was a family there, I did not want to break it. We had been together in the past, before that family, and had broken up because we had been young (16) and foolish. 19 years later destiny brought us together again but in new circumstances. I was free, he was not. I was absolutely 100% against breaking his family. His wife would have thought that all the 11 years with him had been a lie, and that was not true. Not to mention his son. It lasted for 9 years, the good thing that came out of it is a perfect little girl. Nobody knows who the father is. Need advice? If you can, change the circumstances, your partners want you happy. If you can't, make the most of your relationship without hurting anybody. PS - My child is very happy, it is all up to me.
2006-07-09 01:14:55 · answer #3 · answered by ratonul24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much of what is called love is love? The dominant law in this universe is the Law of Karma. We are mostly bonded together by Karma, than by Love. Investigate your relationships. Know what you owe each other. Life is not a chance. You are the product of all your choices, since before this incarnation. Know yourself. Find out your purpose. Fulfill it!
You can live a life of love though. But you must have access to the Living Word. He will guide you to the Temple Within
2006-07-13 04:46:50 · answer #4 · answered by serestar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, don't go there. You both need to end your current relationships before embarking on a new one together. You owe your spouses, the people that you vowed to love, honour and cherish at least that.
And just remember the grass always looks greener on the other side. Before you take the next step to free yourself look at what you'll be giving up. Sometimes forbidden fruit on the neighbour's tree just seems to taste better than the identical tree in your own yard.
2006-07-11 03:05:29 · answer #5 · answered by baciandrio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am ashamed of both of you. How could you violate Gods law and the marriage vow you both took to your spouses? Until you ask God's forgiveness, and both of you get a divorce, then your lives will be like a half glass of water, clear and shallow and your futures will only cause pain to those who once looked up to you. On the other hand, if you have no beliefs in God... continue as you have been. You might want to have a party just for the four of you, then you can air all your dirty laundry amongst yourselves and have sex for the moment. There is no future until you divorce your spouses. Bad Girl.... Bad Boy!!!
2006-07-08 21:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by Ms-No-It-All 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave your family. It is better to be with the person you want to be with than lying to your mate. Soon you will be having an affair if you aren't all ready. Making a FOOL out of your spouses. From all of the married people here, be up front and leave before other people find out and they feel stupid. Or get over it because it probably just lust and do what you promised to do. Be faithful and love your mate.
2006-06-29 07:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by AfterThought 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry...I am currently going through this and it's tough. It is so easy to sit back and judge, but I have done to many things in my life to judge another. Falling in love with someone that I can never be with is one of those thing... I can only suggest what I am doing myself. Live your life...love your life. I have a child that I love deeply and a husband that doesn't deserve to be hurt because of what I did, have done or what I might want to do. My lover feels the same way...we give up ourselves for the lives we have chosen before we met. We could have never known that this would happen...
I hope you find what is best for you. We, my lover and I, love one another in silence, in the distance we are always with one another and to us it's beautiful. Maybe one day we will be together. Till then we love one another in our own way, with a message, a smile, a letter and an occasional visit.
Don't give up, have faith that your sacrifices will be worth the wait. Till then, let your love grow, let it breath in silence.
If you ever need someone to talk to, I welcome the company.
2006-07-04 09:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by roni77n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to suck it up and make a decision. Is it worth breaking up with your spouses to pursue a life together? Marriage counselling sounds in order.
The world is full of people leaving their marriages for a love only to find out the grass is not greener on the otherside afterall.
2006-07-13 05:03:07 · answer #9 · answered by D M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married to other people. You cannot be together unless both of you divorce your spouses. Then...there is nothing that says it will work out if you do this. Your best route is to get away from any correspondence with this person and focus on your marriage and spouse. (If he/she left the spouse for you, who is to say he/she wouldn't leave you for someone else if they think they've fallen in love with someone 'better suited' for them?)
2006-07-13 04:29:26 · answer #10 · answered by save_up_your_tears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know. You're just hoping for a different answer that supports the fact that you have no intention of doing the right thing.
Break it off. Quit being a dishonest (cheating on your spouse), dishonorable (failing to respect your "lover's" vow to their spouse), and selfish (Only the consequence to you is important) person. And quit looking for someone who will make you feel better about your scummy decisions to date.
2006-07-07 13:20:16 · answer #11 · answered by freebird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋