I've been married with someone for a few years now. Everything happened in a hurry with us. Kids, Living With Eachother, Marriage, New cars, New house...and at an early age. Things have always been "wierd" between us. We have tried in so many ways to keep it together but, I feel as if maybe it is time to move on...There has been domestic abuse, mindgames, cheating. Break ups, Make ups...blah blah. Recently my ex has contacted me out of the blue with no pressure just as a friendship. I havn't revealed any of this to him as far as he is concerned I am in a loving , happy relationship. Do you believe that I should tell him? I don't have many friends and feel as if I might need help getting out of this relationship. I don't want to burden the ex and I don't want to give him an idea that there is hope either. Or do you believe that I should continue to try to fix my current relationship?
2006-06-29 04:23:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand being rushed into a relationship, having everything at stake and the pressure of keeping the kids happy but if he is abusing you emotionally and physically abusive - get help immediately. In my state there are places/support groups for women that are private; Breaking Free or Sheltering Wings. Go to one of these places, I wouldnt get your ex involved at this point. It is going to take some time for you to recover and really know what you want with your life. You need to be happy. Email me if I can be of any help...I am 4 years out of a very abusive relationship where we had a child, but dealing with a slightly different one now with my new fiance of 2 years. Good Luck.
2006-06-29 05:16:29 · answer #1 · answered by bloo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell your ex anything, at least not right now. I think you should get some family therepy and see if you can't work things out first, a marriage these days lasts an AVERAGE of 5 years, thats sad. I'm not saying you should keep it together and be unhappy, but you need to explore things a little deeper with some help.
When things happen fast it makes things hard, when the dust settles you realize what's happened and your not necessarily happy with the way it happened. But I would get family therepy and see how things go from there.
2006-06-29 04:27:55 · answer #2 · answered by Bethann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be true to yourself do what makes you happy or better yet what you can live with follow your heart not someone elses advice only you truly know yourself and only you have to get up every morning and look yourself in the face and if you decide to leave your current relationship if that's what makes you happy its OK don't worry the kids will adjust because believe me if you are not happy in the current relationship the kids can sense the tension and they are not happy either your actions effects them more than we know it takes a happy mother to have happy kids give it some time think before you act good luck
2006-06-29 04:41:41 · answer #3 · answered by toosexy4thisshit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hum thats a had one. But i will tell you this much if my husband cheated on me i would hit the door running It would not matter if i had his baby or not.there is just some things in a marriage that you should not do and cheating is one of them.As far as your x goes I am not sure if i would tell him or not. I don't have any friends either and i know that it is hard to not have anybody to talk to.So if you did talk to him i would let him know up front that i just need a friend to talk to and nothing more.That way he won't be getting any ideas.
2006-06-29 04:34:05 · answer #4 · answered by TinkerBell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you believe that your marriage is worth fixing, then by all means do what you have to. However if it's not and you just want a friend; then you need to let your ex know, that way your not leading him on.
2006-06-29 04:27:39 · answer #5 · answered by RX2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first mistake was rushing - really is not a smart thing to do but it does seem to be the normal thing in todays world - in my opinion the marrige is over because your ready for it to end. living with it for any reason now is just silly and unhealthy. it wont improve because the right mix was never there so best to end it as quickly and as calmly as you can. If you are not happy in your life then you live for the wrong reasons. learn from your mistake and move on.
2006-06-29 04:29:29 · answer #6 · answered by Savage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there are kids involved then you owe it to them to try and fix the current relationship.
Good word of advice: Don't do anything that you might regret with your ex. In fact, don't talk to him anymore until you have figured out what you are going to do with your husband. You owe it to yourself, your husband and your ex.
Good luck to you, and know that no one can make you happy except for yourself.
2006-06-29 04:27:38 · answer #7 · answered by ksgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get out but, you don't need to involve anyone else it will just make things harder. I've been where you are, sorry I know how it sucks.
2006-06-29 04:29:24 · answer #8 · answered by LOLOTA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOUR EX IS JUST A FRIEND THEN TELL HIM AND TELL HIM YOU AREN'T SURE HOW TO GET OUT OF THE SITUATION MAYBE HE CAN HELP
2006-06-29 04:35:17 · answer #9 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your ex or anyone else as soon as you can. you need to get out as soon as possible.
2006-06-29 04:27:16 · answer #10 · answered by Deb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋