Do you think men should pay child support if they are not with the mother?

Question

I can only imagine what kind of answers I am going to get..... so let me enlighten you about the issue some. I have an associate of mine who thinks that he should not have to pay child support. He was married to the mother of his children (2) and now is divorced. He says that because he does not get to see his children on a regular basis he does not want to pay. Well he did not show up at court so he could at least have joint custody with the mother...............so she got awarded full custody......which he is trying to fight now. He is so very far behind with his child support order and does not want to pay.................Please holla back with answers and thoughts.

Answer 1

Regardless if a mother and father are no longer together, they both have responsibility to raise and support the children they created together. The children have no fault in a divorce between a husband and a wife so they should not suffer from a father's refusal to pay child support - the only ones to get hurt are the kids. If your associate did not make the effort to show up at a court required custody hearing, that would make any judge leery about his responsibility level and question his commitment to his children. Child support payments are not optional, if he does not pay, he will most likely end up in jail at some point. If he did want to try to become a responsible father, he can contact his court appointed contact person (called Friend of the Court in our area) and that person can help him make payment arrangements plus can counsel him on things he can do to make up for his previous irresponsibility. In custody disputes, doing what looks good in the eyes of the court, regardless of your personal stand on the situation, will go a long way in swaying the final judgment. Because he does not get to see his kids often, he should make every attempt to be in touch with them as often as he can, by letter, note, phone call, e-mail, whatever it takes to stay in the lives of his children. These years can never be made up.

Answer 2

HECK yeah he has to pay! Just tell him to pay what he can on a regular basis and catching up will come in the future. "What he can" means the least amount plus a little extra of what is required by the court. Even animals care for their own. What makes human men with broken relationships think they don't have to. Unfortunately the mother has some issues and pain but he has rights too. The bible says that the man who doesn't care for his own will suffer a punishment worse than the one cast into a deep sea with an anchor on his legs. Have mercy. But, yeah...he's got to pay up. Don't sympathize for him. Let him and encourage him to be a real man.

Answer 3

even as she's somewhat older you could tell her, no longer each and absolutely everyone has 2 father and mother, and under no circumstances each and absolutely everyone desires 2 father and mother. you're youthful and at present had the toddler so if in case you've desire that he will replace or issues receives better. i became an same even as i became youthful. lets look on the info; a million. He does drugs 2. He receives himself into debt usually 3. he's badmouthing you, the mummy of his new child 4. He refuses to assist such as her or pay new child help. you've not got any reason then to communicate with him. you want to end conversing with him, he's immature and under no circumstances any strong for you or your daughter. you do not owe him something, so do not provide him any money. you're going to need that for your self and your new child. you're 16, i imagine that's a perfect age to get information with your new child (briefly) take income of the very reality you reside with dad, end college, flow to college and change right into a felony specialist, like you wanted. Being a unmarried mom will be complicated, besides the undeniable fact that that is even harder on those who do not have the guidance to get available and get an exceedingly good job. it's going to be complicated those next few years going to varsity and dealing (do you're able to opt for on to) yet you'll both be in a much better difficulty afterwards. once you're suffering and want the youngster help, flow get it, he wouldn't have a decision even as it contains paying it.

Answer 4

I see the guy's point--why should he have to support kids he doesn't get to see? He could have had a perfectly good reason for not showing up for the hearing, like maybe he was off at war, or had to work, or was in a hospital bed, and no hearing like that should be final, anyway--the courts should let a parent change their mind about seeing the kids because it is so important to the kids.

As a guy, this kind of HUGE financial responsibility is one reason to not get married, to not have kids, to play the field and have fun with the one and only life you will ever get, and not be tied down doing stuff you hate forever.

Answer 5

Although not being able to see his children is not fair to him or his children, the responsibility for feeding, clothing and taking care of his children is his responsiblity morally and legally. The courts decided his level of responsiblity and by not paying, he is hurting his children. I realize as well that the mother may spend that money on other things, BUT by paying - he has met his legal and moral responsiblities. I am sure it is easy to feel like he does, but truth of the matter, if he couldn't take the time to be in court whenever they were making the decision about custody - he is stuck. By not making his child support payments, he has buried himself a lot deeper and identified himself as an irresponsible parent.. NOT GOOD.

Answer 6

He needs to realize that the kids are the most important. If he would of showed up in court he could of take care this issue himself versus the judge. He needs to set up away so he can see his kids as often as he can. At least pay something because he can get jail time and lose his license by not paying and being behind. He needs to pay something to help the mother with the kids.

Answer 7

He had children with this woman, he should take responsibility for that. Who care if he gets to see them or not. He should still have to provide for them. Plus it is his fault he doesn't get to see them. He should have gone to the court date so he could have some kind of custody. But, yes, I do believe that every man should have to pay child support for their children.

Answer 8

I think men should definitely pay child support even if they are not with the mother. Your friend had just as big of a role in conceiving those children as his ex-wife did and he is just as much responsible for them. It should not be all up to the mother to support them just because he didn't care enough to show up in court.

Answer 9

I can't understand why a parent (male or female) would not want to fight tooth and nail to be with their children.
He didn't want custody of them but now he wants custody because he wants something for his money. We are talking about your children! You should want to support them and make sure they have everything that they need.
It sounds like he only wants to see his kids now to get his moneys worth, which tells me he is the type of person to use his kids as tools against the mother.
Yes, he should have to (and want to) pay and the judge should only look at redirecting the custody when he's all paid up.

Answer 10

Well, he is responsible for the children. He did have a part in creating them and they are his responsibility, no matter what kind of rationalizations he tries to make against that fact. It matters not that he doesn't see them as often. They are his kids. It kind of sounds like he needs to grow up. Maybe you can talk some sense into him? His children are his legacy. And they will grow up and they will remember the fact that their dad didn't care enough to show up to court and didn't even want to pay to clothe and feed them.