I need your advice please?

Question

I caught my husband cheating on me on fathers day. He has since left home and is living with god knows who. I was 16 and he was 15 when we first got together. We were each others first and we were the only people each other have ever been with. I love him to death and this was a big shock to me. I know once a cheater always a cheater, but I can't let him go. I love him so much, we have a little girl together and I really want to work this out. How can I get him to come back home. You might think I am stupid. This is the love of my life, the father of my child, and my first everything. Thank you.

Answer 1

firstly i'm sorry this has happened to you, if you really want him back the first step is to find out from him why he felt the urge to cheat on you, you say you where each others first? it may be a case of 'the grass is always greener' in which case he might find that its not, but people also change as they get older, you're both not the same people you where in your teens and it may just be that you have grown apart, the only person that can give you that answer is him, you need to bear in mind that even if you do get back together it will take a long time to get your relationship back, trust is a difficult thing to mend.
unfortunatley you have to face that he may have moved on and you will have to aswell, even though it may seem impossible, give yourself and your little girl time to heal and you'll be ready to face the future. Your first love will always be precious, but dont you deserve more than this?

Answer 2

Your dirtbag husband cheated on you. Think about it, 20 years from now your child will know that daddy cheated on mommy and all mommy did was sit there and let him back in the house. Your child won't respect you for it. They will never talk to you about it and come the teenage years, never listen to you. THEY DO FIND OUT, no matter how many skeletons, THEY DO FIND OUT.

Do whats RIGHT. What loser that dissapears and lives "god knows where" and why would you want him back in your home. Grab your kid, you valuables, and leave the house for the weekend. Tell him he has all weekend to take what he wants. Take pictures and if he trashes it he does. If you get back and the cars there get a police escort, and DO NOT go back to the HOUSE with your child the first time.

Good luck

Answer 3

There must have been some kind of circumstances that lead to him cheating, on fathers day of all days. I hear your plea, yes your stupid but such is a normal reaction of first love...You'll obviously take him back regardless but I think you should make this as humbling an experience for him, if he should want to come back, as possible...this will help prevent such a situation from recurring.....begin to put your affairs in order as if you intent to handle raising your daughter on your own...send a message that if you don't want to be a part of this family then you will be excluded...he will more than likely want to reconcile sooner or later....let him know then you deserve better than he cheating on his family and the only way back in is leave such behavior behind him and make sure he knows this is his last and only chance back..good luck..stand your ground..don't be a push over or this will repeat itself.

Answer 4

You love him and you want it to last forever.

It's hard to turn your back on the one that you love and it will be very hard to let go and you will not understand or care what people say because you will be there waiting for a reconciliation and for him to come to his senses and come back. You are in pain and in shock and youa re willing to take him back despite of what he has done to you.

Honey, you seem young and I understand how you feel. It will be very hard to overcome this but yes you can. Iknow that's is not what you want to hear but perhaps he will not be back, reason being, youwere both too young when you guys got together and you both lack the normal life experiences of people your age to reach a level of maturity to settle down and start a family. You skipped the normal stages of life into a yourn marriage and parenthood while your peers where out and about dating and going to school and evolving as young adults. You as a woman, a young lady full of dreams and aspirations, a failthful wife and a gfood mother have fulfill your dreams already, but him as a male perhaps is craving what he missed out on life and now that he got a taste for it he probally will keep on being infatiated with the singkes scene... and even if he comes back, he will break your heart by sneaking out of the house or having someone on the side....

I know you love him, but now yu are holding on to MEMORIES and not realities, you miss your fisrt this and the first that but hoey, you are not 15 anymore, you are both young adults and things are never gonna be the way they used to be...and keep on holding on to that is going to hurt even more.

You will eventually let go but for what I read, you won't and probally will be hoping for a miracle and wait at the window crying for him to return. Dear, no one is going to give you a medal for your suffering, but you will have to learn this on your own and after a lot of pain and suffering. I'm truly sorry for what has happend. *hugs*

Answer 5

It's a terrible tragedy what's happened to you. From the sounds of things, sadly, he seems only too happy to put his relationship with you behind him at this point.

If you're able to contact him and can convince him to seek counseling that's probably your only shot. If he's not open to that, I can't put it any simpler than to say you gotta put it behind you and know that the right person is out there for you somewhere.

Things happen for a reason which isn't always clear at the time, certainly not now. But it will be made clear to you one day. You'll see.

Answer 6

It's going to be the hardest thing you have ever done, but you need to leave him. now. If you two are meant to stay together, it will work out eventually. If you just forgive him for this, he will do it again and again. By leaving him, you might wake him up and he will realize he still loves you and doesn't want to lose you. If he doesn't want to stay together, then it won't work anyway. Good luck!

Answer 7

aw Hun
you have to think of you and your daughter
if you take him back will he do it again ?? could you cope with that ??
the thing is Hun if you forgive him you will never forget what he has done you may forgive him but it will stay with you forever
this is the hard part..... trying to get things back to normally this will never be the same
there will all ways be doubts and believe me when i say if you forgive him and you have him back
he will change in a big way 8 out of 10 men don't like there woman going out at all
the reason is they are worried you will do what they have done
so they hold on so tight to you till you can not go no were with out him
please Hun i am not saying leave him i wouldn't dare
but if you do have him back please think before you rush back to his arms
good luck Hun
respect
shaz

Answer 8

move on. Its going to hurt worse staying and always wondering "what happened". You won't be able to forget it ever believe me. I have been there. Cut your losses now. I am going through the same thing right now and it hurts like hell. Look to your family and friends for support. You're going to need it. Get a therapist and some anti-depressants. You will feel better before long.

Answer 9

Hun you are not stupid. I can understand what you are saying. I would say it's worth giving a chance, if he is cheating there is a reason for it. I would suggest couceling. Your not crazy for wanting to stay with the man you love but there are issues something is not satisfying him. My shrink told me thats why married people cheat. Good luck.

Answer 10

Hun, I'm so sorry. You have to go with your heart or you'll never be happy. But will you ever be able to trust him again? And trust is such a big part of a relationship. Best of luck, be happy.