well he ask if we could be friends but i want more then that and he is getting marryed now and it hurts me i keep saying it should have been me and i cry myself to sleep every night and i dream about him and wake up sometimes crying my eyes out i have tryed to move on and date other people but they do me wrong like say i have to have sex with them sick crap like that and when that happens i get to thinking about how sweet my ex"s was to me he respcted me alot were others have not i still love him so much and miss him alot i miss haveing some one to hold me in there arms but mostly his arms it hurts so much to know he is getting marryed see he wanted to be friends because his job got in the way why is it when i find a nices sweet guy like him there job gets in the way please help tell me what to do i send him a wedding card in the mail trying to be nices but i am hurting my heart says he is the right guy for me and he is the only one for me i thought i could stop looking??? help??????
2006-06-29 03:15:48 · 18 answers · asked by betty m 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
like i was saying this guys mom liked me and want me to get him to move back home he had talking about it but i said i hope your not going to quit your job over me he said no it was his dog he is 35 years old and this is his 3 wedding and i am 28 years old almost 29 years old and never been marryed befor and no kids he dose not have any kids but has been marryed two times befor now on his 3 one and i keep hopeing it dose not work out but his mom also likes this girl and we go to the same church and i have had one of his mom"s best friends to tell me it should have been me saying i do and not her that if we had not broken up it would have been i said he broke up with me i told him i did not want this but he said i deraved better then him because of his job we did not get to see one another much i was ok with that hell if he had ask me to i would have moved with him and it hurts bad to know saturday he will be marryed for the 3 time july 1 is the day??????????????????
2006-06-29 06:02:23 · update #1
HOOO girl, I am so sorry to hear this! It sucks though, but I have to agree with everybody here, you need to let him go. He's moved on. I'm kind of bothered by his reason to just be friends because "his job gets in the way" It sound like such a cop out!! Do you really want to be with someone who would put you through so much emotional drama over such a pithy excuse?
2006-06-29 03:37:18 · answer #1 · answered by Pask 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is doing one of two things.
1: Being nice, take it as it comes and be friends with him, but only after you have resolved your feelings for him whcih will require you to take some space from him and learn more about yourself.
2: Trying to keep you on the side, just in case, which would make him a looser and you would still need to get away from him.
So, my advice is to find something else to occupy your time. It will be hard and your heart will not be in it at first, but after a few days you will start to find it easier and easier. Idle minds are the Devils playground, which in this case means that the reason you are hurting all the time and can't stop thinking about it is becuase you don't have anything else going on. Get out there an go girl! Try to remember who you were before your life revolved around this guy and you (and he) may discover why he dug you in the first place.
Take heart, no pain lasts forever.
2006-06-29 03:23:38 · answer #2 · answered by kelley and mark j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, tell him how you feel about things. Remind him about the good times that you and him had together. Least you can say, that you risk giving it another chance.
But if he still seem fit to marry that other girl. Then remain friends, and build the friendship up to be strong. It understandable to go thru the crying game phase. I been there plenty of times.
I heard people say, only good men out there is married, gay, or dead. But sometimes, we try so hard to find the right ones. Then again,. we have over look some that was honest, nice, caring, and etc to us.
If you want to stay close to him, even if he still wants to marry. Then be his friends, least you still be close to him even if you ain't the lucky one to marry him. Love hurts, we go cry ourselfs a river, say why did this happen, and then we get over it.
There is some good men left, as well as some good women too. There is always someone for somebody. Just lay back and go with the flow. Love surpises us, when we least inspect it.
2006-06-29 03:31:48 · answer #3 · answered by kygl28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow I am very sorry for you. You know as I was reading what you said I have had the same type of experience happen to me, twice in fact and I too have wondered why all the nice guys don't stay, because it's their job or location. The sad truth is you will never forget him but you will move on and it's gonna hard not to compare the next guy and want him to be like your ex but you got to have hope that another really NICE guy is gonna come along and this time he WILL stay. Because it will happen, I've dated the creeps too but there can't just be ONE good guy out there and you know that so try to do things to push him out of your mind, he is obviously happy now and his idea to be friends with you might just be more hurtful for you than good and his new wife probably wouldn't like the closeness knowing you both used to be together. You need to get your self back together and do stuff for yourself and go out there and just make yourself busy bettering your own life and one day unexpectantly you will find out there was other good guys after all. I know how you feel right now it does hurt bad, but sometimes you have to believe in fate and think if it really was meant to be then it would've been and with you and it's not. So he isn't your 'meant to be'. Don't waste time on him now go out and find the one that is.
2006-06-29 03:34:03 · answer #4 · answered by Pamela I 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. Most of us have been there and done that. You have to get a grip. That's all I can say. For one thing, there is NO FRIENDSHIP between you and your ex. He is getting married. As harsh as it may seem - if you had a relationship and he didn't see 'you' fit enough to be his bride - the heck with him. He moved on. That would give me enough moxy (energy) to move on myself - with or without a man. Let it go. I know you are hurt, but you have to fill your empty space with something else that is good for you - and you only. Not with another man. Take time to re-evaluate your own life and what you want from it. Spend time with your friends, go shopping, read some good selphelp books, do something positive for yourself.
2006-06-29 03:22:56 · answer #5 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I learned that if things don't happen then they are not meant to be
you may still love him & miss him ,but in time you will
heal & become a stronger person from this
You should find things to keep you busy so you
don't think about him so much
Keep dating new people & if they don't respect you then
go on to the next guy until the right one comes along
I know this from experience, on day you will
find Mr. Right & he will be even better than your ex
Get on w/ your life & take one day @ a time
2006-06-29 03:26:26 · answer #6 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all .. You said "You have to have sex with them" these other guys you have dated. why do you "have" to have sex with them? the guy you are talking about lost interest in you .
maybe you are too loose with your body. I don't know but you can move on. he is getting married, He doesn't need or want you.
I'm not being mean . I'm stating the facts.. it's tough but move on..Don't waste your life and time crying for someone who loves someone else.
2006-06-29 03:27:30 · answer #7 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but apparently he didn't think he was the right guy for you. There is someone out there for everyone and he found his someone, now it's time to find yours. Please do not bother this soon to be married man with your feelings, it will do nothing but possibly make him pity you. Whats done is done, move on. I dont suggest trying to be friends with someone you love that much, it will only cause problems later. Good luck finding a new person to love.
2006-06-29 03:21:04 · answer #8 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, first of all try to learn how to use a period. Second of all, just move on, it is over. He is not marrying someone else to try and convince you to go back with him. He is marrying someone else, get over it. Stop living in a fantasy world, you will find someone just make sure you don't make the same mistakes before it is too late.
2006-06-29 03:20:59 · answer #9 · answered by Christopher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Betty,
Evidently he doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about him. Let him go and move on with your life. Take time to get over him before you start dating again. Find out who you are and who you want to be.
As for remaining friends??? It would depend on many things, but, if you can't get through the day without your heart hurting you can't be friends with him at this point in time. LET HIM GO....
2006-06-29 03:24:27 · answer #10 · answered by Boxcars 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋