About my children and life, is this normal?

Question

Both girls. Oldest autistic, youngest not.
My oldets stims a lot on her sister. Which is a vibration of her hand against her sister's cheek and teeth grinding. This is constant, am not overexagerrating. My oldest is almost 4 but mentality is around the age of a 1 year old. So basically, I have two 1 year olds. I am also going thru depression, since a very young age. I work full-time and when I get home I care for my girls and cook and clean. We have one car so me and my fiance share, we borrow my mom's car and that itself is hectic enough.
I'm going thru female pattern baldness and my fiance is going thru a visitation battle for his two girls in Massachusetts. My oldest is very unfocused and I repeat everything I say atleast 4 times, then again 4 times for her to accomplish something. Not exaggerating. My youngest is very stressed b/c of my oldest. Moving back to mom's to save money, she's also very judgemental of me, she's Muslim and I'm not practicing. I've also... (cont.)

Done legendary things in my life in a MUlsim family. Runaway, pregnant out of wedlock to a non-muslim, etc. I love them but I don't feel close to them, in fact I feel unaccepted all the way.
Finacially, we're scraping due to situation now. The move is a sacrifice for the better for all of us, but I feel the same depressing feelings as I did there when I was younger (mom's place.)
I know how to get help for all of us, I don't need that sort of answer. I want to know, is this normal? And am I truly depressed or is it in my head? Again, I know how to get help for me and my daughter, any other advice would be great.

In fact, we are already receiving help for her. I am more into the holistic,natural approach and am confident she'll do better. I'm just wondering about me

NOTE: I'm not living for my mom or anyone. I'm very confident in what I believe, I also have goals I want to achieve. Things don't come together. I feel poor and depressed. Sort of detiriorating, However you spell it.

Answer 1

LIVE LIFE AS YOU SEE FIT AND NOT FOR NO ONE ELSE

Answer 2

Normal is all relative. This is your normal life. If you feel depressed, it probably because you are. With all of the things you have to and have had to deal with in your life, it can really wear on you.

So, you can't compare yourself to others and no ones live is exactly the same. All you are going through is normal for your life now, but it may be different in the future. A normal life is full of challenges and that, everyone has, just in different forms.

For yourself, do you have respite (through a social services agency) or a babysitter so that you can focus on yourself for a few hours a week. Take up yoga, or art, or develop at new skill or hobbies. You are probably a very selfless person. Remember, you need care also. See if there are any free or low cost community classes for some of the things that interest you. Every now and then, you must replenish yourself.

Answer 3

Make an appointment with an MD asap to get you proper professional help and get put on proper meds immediately. You have every reason to be depressed and it sounds like you are going through denial about being depressed. I have an autistic son who is now 9, but when he was 5 when I had him diagnosed, my life fell apart but others were watching out for me and thank god I got help. My son is doing great and he is amazing and has so much to offer the world. His two younger siblings love him to pieces. You were given your children for a reason, even though you may not know it yet. God Bless.

Answer 4

ok. it's not normal.
apart from that I can not help you.