What's wrong with my wife part 2 ?

Question

I would like to thank everyone that answered the question and you all have some good points most of them I've tried! I'm not a demanding person and very reasonable I talk with my wife I listen to my wife. The 25% of my days off are spent cleaning the house and mowing the lawn. She has no envolement with this she don't want to do it! The house is a total wreck when I get home! I NEVER COMPLAIN! Sometimes I think she's glad to see me go back to work! Now I'm very far from being Gods gift to women, but I am that man who listens! Doesn't complain! Don't mind doing house work! I make a 6 digit figure at work, I pay ALL the bills including her's. She does work, but that's only because she wants to.

Answer 1

I didn't see your first question, but based on this I'd say that you both need to see a counselor. You obviously feel unappreciated and she'd probably say the same. Also, when was the last time you two took a vacation alone, for more than a weekend?

Answer 2

Brian
Like others, I would have to ask whether or not there are any children involved. A recent pregnancy COULD cause some of this reaction from her, as could medication. BUT... I am more likely to wonder if she saw you as a 'meal ticket' and is taking advantage of that with your income and your time away from home. I hate to sound that way, because there ARE 'good' women out there. But there are also PLENTY of those that aren't !!!!!! ( trust me, been there-had most of them !) It honestly sounds to me like you're just too nice ( if you're like me, that is hard to hear, because I just don't know any other way to be....) Regardless of how much $$$ YOU make or how little SHE makes, a relationship should be 50/50. PERIOD. NO EXCEPTION. ( actually should be 100/100..- but you know what I mean ).

I can tell you two things and you take from them what you want:
- you give a woman EXACTLY what she wants and she'll change her mind !
- most times, you chase a dog and it will run away; you run away from a dog and it will chase you.

I have a very good friend who's husband used to drive a truck and was gone all the time. While he was out making $$$ to provide for his family, she was out sleeping w/everyone in sight. Because she no longer loved him ? No. Because she was lonely and he was never there. I'm NOT saying that is the case w/your situation, but just know that it can, and DOES happen.

You sound like a REALLY great guy ( and god knows there aren't too many of us left ), but it sounds like there is a LOT that is wrong at home.

As for what to do about it...............
Sounds like you have done/tried a lot. If she's not willing to meet you 1/2 way, or try to make any effort on her own- you can't 'make' her. The 1st step to any recovery is to admit that there IS a problem; the 2nd is to WANT to do something about it.
YOU see that there is a problem, but does SHE ?

I wish you the VERY best of luck !

Answer 3

Well some people are just slobs and never clean Ive seen alot of gals tht way,And as far as going bck to wrk thts she is happy ,I think most wives are glad when the husband is gone ,its a break they need .But if you make tht kind a money why havent you hired a maid once a week ?Your wifes wrk too! So its not like this is s big issue in your marriage .Do you think tht cleaning a house is a sign of love?If thts the case why all these married men ahve a wife at home cookin /cleanin and have a mistress tht does nothin .Or they divorce and marry a gal tht does none of what his x did.You need to solve the cleaning issue with a maid thts easy and excpt your wife the way she is ,you cant change her!

Answer 4

Hey U know i was almost the same way it's hard to live like that maybe she pushed her self away while u work 7 days a week it's hard in the begining to get used to that but after a while it's not that u dont love the person it's just that u get so use to the person not being the that u feel as if u dont need them, U just need to re start that fire .... It's not all u'r faul but u no a relationship is based on 2 people, so Go And take her on a date something u guys used to do but dont anymore, Find something that only u know would rekendle that fire , if not then maybe it's time u guys go u'r own ways.....

Answer 5

I was just going through both of your questions and there's something bugging me. How long has this been going on? I mean, could it be that she's depressed 'cause you are away a lot? Think back and check if maybe coincides when you started your actual job. You say you are a man who helps around the house, so maybe she's depressed cuz she doesn't have your shoulder to lean on when you are at work...
Dunno, but i don't think a woman "becomes" a slob. And honey, most "decent" women need caring and attention before willing to have sex, that's the way it works.

Answer 6

I dont think I answered your first question, but seeing your second half of it it looks as if you both could go with some counseling. Maybe she just wants you for money, or maybe you spoiled her to the point that she feels she doesnt need you at home. If she works great, but both parties should contribute to the household. I've always felt that if the man wants to take control of the expenses then great, I wont work but I'll take care of the house and him when he gets home. But, if I choose to work then I should help out and pay some of the bills.

Look I work and cook and clean and take care of the kids, my husband cleans, cooks, works and takes care of the kids. He may not make as much as you do but we help eachother out. I'm there for him in everyway and he is there for me in everyway. There has to be some kind of balance and she is tipping it in only her direction.

Talk to her and see if she can tell you what is really going on. Dont push aside that their might not be someone else. No one knows the truth but god and right now you guys cant afford to keep on guessing on what the problem maybe, confront her and dont blame yourself. At least you are trying.

Answer 7

I know how you feel. My husband is just like her in a way. He is the bread winner and Iam the plain housewife. I clean the house, do the laundry, take care of the dog, cook, gardner, and etc.
I listen to him when he complaints about stuff. Like his work, his family, friends, and so on. I talk to him about him problems, even sometimes he don't like the answers I give to him.
Sometimes I think he ony listen to half of what I say. But he does take the trash out, fix the car, paid the bills, and so on. But she needs to help out more. She needs to take some weight off your back, and pitch in on the house.
Marriage is between two people not just one. Sound like she is just taking things for granted.

Answer 8

I missed part 1 but reading part 2 i would guess your wife is lazy and just plain sorry as a woman. Put your foot down and make her get off her *** and do her part. Stop paying her bills if she has a job. You should not have to carry the weight of the household chores. Open you mouth and tell her that her behavior is not going to fly.

Answer 9

Do you throw it in her face that you make more money than her and that you pay all the bills? cause that could be turning her off. Or maybe she is depressed. It can happen. That would make her loose desire for you , the house anything. If she won't talk or go to counseling then maybe you should leave, though that is the last resort

Answer 10

If you like her and she likes you:
What about to contract a person or service to clean the house. If you both work and make money, why not to spend in this kind of service? We do that. We have a lady that comes 3 times a week to help to clean and to cook. It is worthy... I wish you good luck.