I was sexually assaulted years ago and after that I met my daughter's father. He has been the only man to sexually satisfy me. Years have passed I only get orgasims from self pleasure despite several relationships. I have expressed recently to my current boyfried that I don't really enjoy sex because I don't get anything out of it and on top of that I am 5 months pregnant and not feeling sexual anyway. His only comment has been that "its a problem" and his ego because I'd rather use a sex toy than be intimate with him. I feel like if he can't be understanding then we need to go ahead and not waist any time and end the relationship. I haven't expressed that feeling because I don't want to be rational. But I don't know what to do??????
2006-06-29 02:19:00 · 9 answers · asked by Still Blessed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I want to thank everyone for there answers, they've been great. To clear up a few things, he is aware of my sexual assault and I am asking that he be patient with me because i am pregnant right now. This pregnancy has been extremely difficult and the last thing I want to do is have sex and I don't want to be stressed out over something like this either. My stress level went through the roof a couple of weeks ago and i had to into the er. I just want him to respect my past and if anything help me through it, I feel like he's being really selfish.
2006-06-29 02:51:29 · update #1
what do you not like?
please let us know, maybe we can help you
it is a part of life
2006-06-29 02:24:26 · answer #1 · answered by timestamps 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of things to consider.
If you were sexually assaulted previously, this can have a profound effect on you, your self esteem, your sexuality, and even your intimate relationships. First and foremost, you need to talk to someone professionaly. I am a hypnotist and a personal coach and I work with a number of people that were assaulted or raped. Please, speak to someone in your area that specializes in this.
As for your partner's issue, yes, a lot of a man's ego is tied up into how he can please his mate, you'll have to forgive us, we're simple creatures. Have you told him about what happened to you? If not, maybe this will help him understand. If you've already told him... well, if you want to save the relationship I suggest you BOTH seek a counselor. This can help him come to a greater understanding of what you go through on a daily basis.
Also keep in mind that you are pregnant, which plays havoc on the chemicals in your body. You may lose interest in the things that once gave you joy, etc.
Finally, if you want to break up with your boyfriend, then do so. If you'd like to stay with him, then the two of you should work on doing that. Of all the problems a relationship can have, sex should not be a reason to end it.
I hope this helps, and I wish you good luck.
2006-06-29 02:42:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step it back slightly, make him take you out for a fantastic meal. do not placed on an knickers that nighttime and then purely as significant is being served enable slip to him discretley that you're donning no knickers!!! watch him melt below the table. Play slightly potential interest and experience back on excellent of issues, it may turn you on too, take that recognize back lady! he will be prepared to thrill you in turn and it would want to deliver the spark back contained in the mattress room. yet in straight forward words use this if the date is going properly. once you have not any favor to be with him bodily even as he's taking you out for a romantic nighttime, then per chance you would possibly want to prehaps imagine about why you're with him and if the courting is ideal?
2016-11-29 23:21:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you gotten counseling? You really need it, or if you cannot afford counseling( because not everyone can afford that) speak with a pastor, or someone you really respect in your family.
I sense that ther is more emphasis on sex, instead of on making better choices. You have gotten pregnant, lets try and focus on you and your unborn child right now. Sex is temporary, your child will be lasting. See if you & your man can sit down and talk calmly and honestly about how you feel. You sound young, maybe talk with some older wiser women.
2006-06-29 02:26:58 · answer #4 · answered by brownfox1126 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Actually the only reason u would feel pleasure is cuz u'r Pregnant, If it's his Baby He should Understand, also when u go see u'r Gyn ask them and take u'r man with u so he can here.... Also y not try using the "toy" When u gusy are together that way u get pleasure and so would he......
2006-06-29 02:25:35 · answer #5 · answered by •°♥Ms. SeXy♥°• 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do need counciling. also it may be something physical. i've been married 10 years to a wonderful man. and as much as i want to want to have sex, i dont and never really have. But we still do at least 3 times a week. You have got to try to make him happy too. Thats what my joy is, when we have sex, that it makes him happy. and of course there are other ways to make him happy than actual incourse. Good luck! and congrats on the baby.
2006-06-29 02:29:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you are soo correct! If he wants to be "committed" to you he should respect your wishes and feelings and accept you for who you are, not who he wants you to be. I mean come on, on the other hand i think compromise is a two way street. and if he respects your wishes to not participate in sexual activities often, you could at least return the favor every now and then. dont get me wrong, but either he accepts your wishes or tell him to keep a truckin!!
2006-06-29 02:46:42 · answer #7 · answered by J-Bo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex can be painful in a physical way as well as emotional. You cannot enjoy this. It is between both and for both of your pleasure.
2006-07-06 10:46:25 · answer #8 · answered by maybf22000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need some therapy and it will help you
2006-06-29 02:22:39 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋