What's wrong with my wife?

Question

We've been married over a year now. I work a 7days on 7days off job. When I come home and try to have an relations with my wife she refuses! I've tried different ways, I've changed things up! I'm lucky if we do it one time in my 7 days home. She says she loves me and I'm sure there's no one else. It use to not be like this, It's like the fire has burned out for her. My job is high paying I give her everthing she wants. I pay 75% attention to her when I'm home, so I'm sure I'm not crowding her. What's wrong?

Answer 1

Have you tried talking to her and asking her the same question? Maybe she is going through some issues of her own and they are causing her libedo to be to low to want to make love.
I think you should sit hr down and talk to her and find out what is going on. Communication is key in any relationship and is the path to a healthy, happy marriage.
You seem to believe she is a faithful wife, which is good, but unfortunately, lack of intimacy can be a sign of things you may not wan to think about. I hope that is not true in your case bbecause you seem to love your wife and want to spend time with her.
The only option you have is to talk, and if that does not work, suggest some counseling. Explain to her how much you love her and how the lack of intimacy is hurting you. Sexual intimacy is a very important part of any marriage and should be something that both partners enjoy and brings them closer together. Good luck.

Answer 2

She's a woman. She probably has no concept of you paying 75% attention to her when you are home, but is very well aware that 25% of the time you are home, you are not paying attention to her.

My experience has been that a woman wants you to give them something you are currently not giving them, or they currently don't have. Of course when they get that, it is something else that they desire. I would say the fact that you give her everything she wants is not good. Logic would dictate that it is, but for some reason it just isn't.

Wish I could tell you more, but I've been married for 16 years now and it has been a roller coaster. Didn't want to work, then was miserable and wanted to work. Didn't want to work, was miserable and wanted a baby. Didn't want to be a stay at home Mom, was miserable and got a job. Didn't want to work and not be with the baby, was miserable and stayed home.

Lasting contentment and happiness seems to be very elusive for women, though they are always sure they know what will bring it, though it never does. I could ramble for years on this subject.

Answer 3

Try asking her first. If you don't get an answer that makes sense to you, perhaps she is physically ill.

Depression can make you lose your sex drive; so can the medication you take for certain conditions, such as diabetes or migraines.

Perhaps it's her hormones? Just bad timing with her monthly cycles? Or maybe she's bored? You say you've changed things from time to time, and you don't crowd her--so why is it so important that you have intercourse? Maybe she'd like a few days of simply being cuddled, held or talked to? Maybe you aren't as hygenic as you used to be? Do you take the time to clean up and present yourself as someone she'd like to be close to?

Also--if you are not home for seven days straight, maybe when you do get home, your wife is tired of being "in charge" of things and wishes you would take over when you're home. Maybe you expect her to wait on you, attend to you? I don't know, and I'm not criticizing, it's just an angle you may have overlooked.

First and foremost, though, I would sit her down and ask her why she seems so distant compared to what she used to be. Don't criticize her--don't say it's "wrong" or "bad." Just tell her you've noticed a difference and you're wondering why it is.

Don't assume anything. Communication is the number one problem people cite when they get divorced--if you love her, and she loves you, then communication on all levels is essential to keeping that love alive.

Answer 4

Maybe... Sex is not that important to her anymore & never really has been. Some women love their husbands to death but would rather be hugged & pampered without lots of sex. Also... maybe she just has a low sex drive & maybe she has many other things going on in her head like making sure everything is the way it's suppose to be [like your meals, your clothing, your home, or just everyday life's ordeals]

*****Go see a marriage counseler & Make Sure She Doesn't Find Out that you are putting Your Laundry Out on 'Yahoo Answers'! THIS MIGHT REALLY TURN HER OFF!

It's great that you are able to provide for her & give her some of the things she needs. But she might also need some space.

Try... going to bed at the end of the evening & give her a real hug, kiss her on her fore head, look at her in the eyes, smile, tell her you love her & GO TO SLEEP!
Do this until she asks for some extra loving.

Good Luck & God Bless!

Answer 5

As a very jealous person myself, let me suggest that she might think that you are haveing an affair during your 7 days away. I would not be able to escape the thought of it while sitting alone wondering what you're doing. Or, she could be pouting to get something from you that you may have casually said "no" to and didn't give another thought to it. Replay what happened just before you noticed this difference in your relationship. Nowadays, women will cheat just as much as guys will, so if she thinks you are she might be too. But, yes you definately need to talk to eachother and figure out what's wrong. Women usually like to talk things out when they love you, if she doesn't want to talk about what's bothering her, she might be hiding something.

Answer 6

She's probably having a problem with your schedule but doesn't want to say anything to you. My husband's job is like that, and I'm sorry to admit that sometimes it really gets to me and I act different. She probably misses you. Sure, you're home a week at a time. But you're also gone a week at a time. She just wants more time with you. Sit her down and talk to her. See what's bothering you. Ask her if it's the job. You might want to look into something else. your marriage is much more important than any job. Good luck.

Answer 7

Maybe when she is in the mood, you arent there. She probably feels like you come home after your 7 day work sprint and at your discretion, you want sex. I wouldnt want to give it up either. When it is convenient for you? Not right at all! Love making should be spontaneous and exciting, not a routine! I think you need to sit down and talk to your wife, communication is the key!!! Good Luck!

Answer 8

I am sorry to hear this :( I know for a fact that woman are more into have an emotional relationship more than materialistic and being given everything. I know that I would rather have time with my man more than a diamond ring or flowers. Maybe from all of this time you have had apart, she is feeling emotional insecurity. I think you should just try to take whatever time you have and spend it just focusing on her to get back the intimacy in your marriage. Remember, TIME is more important to a woman than THINGS.

Answer 9

Assuming your wife is not suffering from depression (or anxiety, etc.), you may want to do some research. I, myself, have been searching for the answers as to why desire eludes me. A friend suggested studying the subject of Tantra. The book that helped me was called Tantric Orgasm for Women by Diana Richardson. I don't agree/practice everything she suggests, but it opened up dialogue and the basic concepts are worth understanding.

Another potential issue - boredom. There are lots of solutions for this problem - get creative!

Answer 10

Alot of times women cant just be in the mood as sometimes men think we should be. LIke the other suggestions sit her down and talk to her about it...it could be a physical problem or maybe she might think with you gone seven days a week you might have someone else...you never know till you talk to her