2006-06-29 01:30:16 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this is so hard for you and your husband
it sounds like you husband bails him out not because he wants to but because he is made to think he should do
i don't no if something has happened in your step sons life that your husband feels bound to help him now
you normally find guilt makes parents carry on bailing there kid out
this might not be right and if i am wrong i am sorry it may be
your husband thinks by dealing a life line overtime his son is in trouble maybe he will learn
But your step son will never learn while he is having hand outs
maybe you should put your cards on the table and tell your husband some home truths
tell him how this is upsetting you and how it makes you feel mad that he bails his son out all the time
good luck
respect
shaz
2006-06-29 02:29:00 · answer #1 · answered by sharon B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 29 he should be supporting himself ,you should tell your husband straight ,enough is enough ,he may love his son but while he continues to bail him out ,his son will continue to take all he can,make him face his own responsibilities for once in his life he will soon get the message,i have a neice like that till we finally put our foot down, she soon got the idea we were not gona treat her like a teenager anymore ,GOOD LUCK
2006-06-29 01:46:12 · answer #2 · answered by okayalder62 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you married the father, you accepted the step-son. Surely your husband sees this. You said in your question that " (he) always wants us" the key word being us. If you love the husband, you can find a way to love the step-son, and work together to keep this young man out of trouble, such as counseling etc.
2006-06-29 01:37:37 · answer #3 · answered by loufedalis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And what has his FATHER finished as well verify with him? the project isn't the youngster. the project is the daddy's lack of parenting his son. Taking issues away isn't self-discipline that is punishment and teaches no longer something because he's popular with if he's "strong" lengthy adequate he receives each and every thing back. That type of punishment under no circumstances works. His FATHER desires to set regulations and limits and implement them (would not advise hitting). each and every of the youngsters want to take delivery of privileges that they could EARN, (television, moves figures, video games, workstation time) even as they behave they earn their privileges, even as they don't behave they don't earn them. the first rule should be "father and mother do not argue or negotiate" and then do not. once you're saying No, advise it and walk away earlier they could commence to argue, in the adventure that they stick with and argue or perhaps as ignore them. What you're doing is punishing the youngster for his father no longer disciplining him. tell your husband to strengthen some balls and a back bone and do better than merely "communicate" to his son about proper and incorrect.
2016-10-13 22:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by student 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the kid (?) is 29 yrs. old and DADDY is still bailing the kid out I don't think there is much hope for you getting Daddy to see the light.This man doesn't seem to understand he is hurting the little one ALOT more than he is helping him.
2006-06-29 01:45:33 · answer #5 · answered by yathinker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is old enough to stand on his own two feet.next time dont do it.He has to learn the hard way,dont be his safety net anymore.He has to accept the consequences for his actions or he will continue down the wrong path in life.It will make him think twice.be strong.take care
2006-06-29 01:34:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how u feel and that your tired of helping someone out thats not willing to help themselves and that you feel like its causing trouble between your marriage , i'm sure that it probably takes alot of money to bail him out of trouble all the time, and the money that he's spending should be going on you, your stepson got hisself into trouble he needs to get his own self out, it's about time for him to grow up "my god" he's 29 years old it's time for your husband to start thinking about you and stop putting so much time into trying to keep his son out of trouble. it's easier to say than do trust me i know, my dad was in your situation and my mom was the one always bailing my brother out of trouble and my dad told her exactly what i'm telling you and finally she quit and my brother finally started staying out of trouble bcuz he knew then that momma's not always gonna be their to help him, just keep your head up high and don't be scared to tell your husband how u feel and it will all work out.
2006-06-29 01:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by christina j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to realize it on his own. If you keep pointing it out, it will end up coming between you. Keep your mouth shut and let him see for himself. It will be better that way trust me. Good luck!
2006-06-29 01:58:03 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't bail him out...he'll get the message...its easy to think your helping him when your really making it worse...now he knows mommy and daddy will clean up after him...cut the umbilical cord and let him grow up
2006-06-29 01:34:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him for me
2006-06-29 01:56:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋