Why did my (soon to be ex-wife) allow me to set up counseling, trying to hug her and pray with her, started back reading devotionals with her, put up with her major depressive disorder, trying to hold her hand...nothing was warming her up anymore....I tried all this without any type of intimacy for almost 2 months! I found out during all my attempts she took her lover to a family funeral (while I kept our son for 3 days!)
I am so ANGRY right now, that she let me do all that work trying to show her how much I loved her while she was sneaking around Cheating & getting another Nest READY(possibly pregnant)! I never cheated or hit her. . . . and instead of telling me she just pushed me away by behaving cold and callous ( She would sit completely on the other side of the room...Everytime) She was telling me mean and hurtful things like " I am not aroused by you anymore"
" I can deal with you cheating on me better than not having my
rent paid!" Those words really hurt!
2006-06-29 00:52:26 · 11 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She was the only one with the truth, she had to keep it that way. She was living in a fantasy that was all about her. Instead of putting her energy into resolving the problems in the marriage that you both were contributing to, she chose to focus on herself and develop a relationship outside of your marriage, and all her energy and effort went there. That is a serious flaw and reflection of her character, not yours. Men and women who cheat are similar, they hide there secret at all costs. That means going to counseling, sabotaging all efforts by their deception and lies. It helps them to justify why they "deserve" to be doing what they are doing, and to alleviate any guilt they feel for how terrible their behaviors are, and they know it. Also a reflection of her character, not yours. Sorry though.
2006-06-29 10:01:52 · answer #1 · answered by whostolemyprofile 4 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Those words of her were signs telling you its over. What you should do now is to start a new life without her.. I know its not easy or anything but the way she treated u shows that she doesnt deserve any more attention from you.. If she didnt tell you yet for a divorce i think you should do it.. You should try and build up ur life again and im sure other women would appriciate what she ignored.. Stop being angry and see the positive part. You are now free to be happy and find someone you deserve. Everything happens for a reason.. and as if u must have heard when a door closes a window opens. =) dont feel too negative about this and just see it as something new.. I think this is the best for you ..
I wish you good luck !! Dont give up and be strong ! something better sill come soon :P
2006-06-29 08:06:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very caring person I commend you on that. People like that are pathetic and I some what feel sorry for them, because they will never be happy. I bet those words hurt. Some times I wonder how people can be so cold and callous towards others feelings. I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around. And her time is coming. Just remember it's not you with the problem it's her. Your wounds are deep, in time they will heal. As for her if she doesn't change her ways she is going to wind up a lonely bitter woman. Good Luck
2006-06-29 08:17:30 · answer #3 · answered by brighteyes62301 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you were treated in such a disrespectful manner and you have every right to be angry. I'd divorce her. The sooner the better. Take some time to heal from this bad experience and do keep in mind that not all women behave as badly as she did. In the long run, you'll be much better off without someone like that.
2006-06-29 07:58:14 · answer #4 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you seem like a christian, am I right? Read Psalms, the first 1/2 of the book was written when David was under attack from Saul. It really helped me out alot during my divorce. Sounds like yours was similiar to mine.
Good Luck Dude, it does get better with time. You are not alone. Remember that Job lost everythng he had, but was repaid 7 times because he did not deny God.
2006-06-29 08:28:16 · answer #5 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes, i think ppl go thru the motions of appearing to TRY to mend their marriage even tho they never intend to reconcile. this is so they can say- well, i did try to save my marriage- i went to counseling even.
something happened to her that made her feelings for you change or she just changed and moved on. getting divorced or breaking up can be really ugly sometimes.
the best thing you can do is pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on, leave her behind. someday she may look back with regret for having ended this relationship but by the time that happens you will be in another phase of your life and it will be her loss,
2006-06-29 08:06:15 · answer #6 · answered by ladyofthehollow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes, i think ppl go thru the motions of appearing to TRY to mend their marriage even tho they never intend to reconcile. this is so they can say- well, i did try to save my marriage- i went to counseling even.
something happened to her that made her feelings for you change or she just changed and moved on. getting divorced or breaking up can be really ugly sometimes.
the best thing you can do is pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on, leave her behind. someday she may look back with regret for having ended this relationship but by the time that happens you will be in another phase of your life and it will be her loss,
2006-06-29 08:01:11 · answer #7 · answered by nearrobinsnest 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just remember this it is true "what goes around comes around" now it might not happen right away but it always does, I have seen it a million times especially to people who wrong me for what seems to be no reason, just move on with your life and keep your head up and love your son and things will be ok
2006-06-29 08:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by mimismom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She totally lead you on. She thought she'd get away with it. Well, you can look at yourself in the mirror. You did your absolute best. Forget her. She will get it back in the end. Karma Baby!! You will be fine. Move on. You'll meet someone and be happy because you deserve to be. Good luck to you. I wish you the best. Take care.
2006-06-29 08:49:29 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She just didn't have the balls to tell you. In any event, you know now what a loser she is. Take care of your child and try to find comfort in knowing that you will be better off without her. Good luck.
2006-06-29 07:57:36 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋