My life is a lie in college..... How do I deal with it?

Question

OK so I just got to a summer course at Salem State College In MA. So I'l tell the tuth im gay but I dont flant my **** and I dont discuss my personal life with anyone because What they dont know cant cause problems or make them feel wierd. Thats the last thing I want to do is make my Roommates feel wierd because its not like that at all. Im not someone who checks everyone out and if i tell them i think they would treat me differnt and i feel as if they will think im checking them out like 24/7. My goal is to stay as undercover as I can in college becauseits unwanted drama that i know I can Avoid. How do I handle this with out telling anyone. Like i just want some imput on wat im doing and i it the right thing to do. Im living a lie and I know it but Ill do what I need to- to get by. Let me knoe

Answer 1

Damn, stop being so scared. Who cares what your roomates think? Just come out. If they are stupid enough to think you are always checking them out then screw them. Get a different roommate. Im sure there are campus counsellors or professors you can talk to if they do start bothering you because that's not allowed and it will stop if enough action is taken. But I dont think you should worry about that. You have to be who you are. Why hide? You will feel so much better.
Come out of that closet!

Answer 2

Ok, I have to tell you and this is gonna hurt.........

If you hate your life this much, best to end it now. I know that sounds awful, but given that this is the 21st Century and even though some people may give you a hard time, the truth is you can never escape ignorance.

I have been out for a long time, well over 25 years and I can tell you, most people are genuinely unafraid or care about someone being gay. At the end of the day it comes down to this.......

Respect, demand no more and accept nothing less.

I do feel for you but at the same time, given all the brutality that so many of us have gone through to get where we are today, I have to tell you it bugs the s**t of me that young people still buy into the lie and the fear. Sooner or Later you'll have to face it head on, believe me when I say to you, the leap you take now will not seem as high as it will if you wait.

Answer 3

No you should tell your roommates listen i bet they wont care!! if you keep this a big hush-hush they will think your a fake in the end, so which is worse...the truth is you not hurting anyone but your self in this matter...i honestly doubt if you put it out there they will be thinking omg he's gay whenever your around...plus your in salem come on you know all the gay stuff in the area i just moved from saugus ma, be your self and be honest thats the best thing for your soul!!

Answer 4

Dude, I'm in the same boat as you are -- also in college, also not discussing my personal life with anyone. The way I see it, I KNOW that most of the people I'm "friends" with hate gay people; therefore, coming out would only hurt me. If you want to talk more, feel free to email me ... though I'd agree it isn't easy. I truthfully don't see my "true life" beginning until I'm out of college in a couple years -- and I doubt that you can be true to yourself until you come out too, whether that's in college or later in life.

Answer 5

I think you are wise and I really respect that. Anyone's sexuality is and should be a preciously guarded aspect of what makes them a whole person. The whole "gay pride" thing really serves to isolate and ostracize the gay culture. I think what you are doing is fine. I believe also that you are going to find people who want you to have drama and flaunt your preferences. That is THEIR problem, not yours. I think you should stick to your goal. You are in school for your education, some networking and just to enrich your life. Godspeed to you!

Answer 6

If you're just in college, I was probably out before you were born.If you are just uncomfortable because this is a summer thing then who really needs to know. If this is a permanent statement--being in the closet-- cool also but know there are long term effects you should consider.

Answer 7

don't come out, they will fell betrayed, and might be mean about it. Make a commit one time. say look at that gay guy. and see what reaction you get. I would be careful. collage kids do not always make the right decision. if they are open minded, tell them, but if they are not, just go about your own business

Answer 8

Sounds like to me that you do not like your choices and you are asking for someone to tell you to come out. You just need a push in the right direction - but that push should come from you. Be proud of YOURSELF not your sexuality - be PROUD of you! It is possible to come out with out a bunch of drama!

Answer 9

you are entitle to your privacy in life...you need not announce to the world about your sexual orientation....however, they are some nosy people just do not know where to draw the line when it comes to personal questions...how would you handle it? Best weapon is quick witted and humorous comeback.....if someone ask you a personal question reply by asking them something really personal...that should usually shut them up...

Answer 10

people except you for what you are gays over recent years have gone public you might be surprised that some collegue people you know may have the same problem.there is a gay help line you can ring that can help you deal with that problem help you through your diffcult period good luck i hope you find the answer to your problem