How do I tell him that I feel nothing for him anymore??

Question

Have been married for 4 years and with partner for 6 but I have fallen out of love with him. I have tried for so long to make it work and can only see my future without him. We have a daughter who is 5 but I can't see that by staying together for her sake will make it any any easier. I am not happy so feel should tell him. But how??

Answer 1

Hello Nicky

Sorry to hear about your predicament. I'm afraid there is no magic solution, simply communication. You don't tell us if your husband is aware of your feelings so i assume he doesn't know what is about to hit him!

You say you've fallen out of love with him. Is this for good? Or is it that maybe things haven't been as good as they were for a while, maybe you felt taken for granted, bored with the relationship? You also say you are not happy. Is he happy? Hs he noticed a change in your attitude, reactions? Has he asked you what wrong? Or simply ignored it?

Of course you need to talk to him but it would make more sense to explain to him how you feel, what led you to fall out of love with him, why you are not happy. Then hear him out too. I'd be very surprised if he hadn't noticed anything. Try talking to him calmly, do not get angry, simply tell him how you really feel. See what he has to say!

If you want to leave him then you will! But please don't forget your little girl will feel lost, another place to live in, daddy not home with her ... It will be hard for her. You will both need to reassure her that you have fallen out of love with each other, not her! You both love her as you always did and always will.

Best wishes

Answer 2

Aw hun, poor you. Well are you SURE that you dont want to stay with him - have you taken all the pros and cons to the relationship? How long have you actually been trying to make it work?
You need to sit him down and tell him how you feel, maybe you havent fallen out of love - it might just be that you're bored, or the spark has gone out for a while - maybe you should at least give him the chance to re-ignite it?
ten years is a long time to with someone - and just coz you THINK you dont see a future with him, doesnt mean you can HAVE one without him - being married for 4 years and suddenly facing into a future alone and single will be a huge reality shock.
Maybe you should organise a nice week away somewhere - you your husband and daughter. Often pressures and feelings at home can seem very different when you're away from them so my advice to you is not to be rash - talk things over with him, take some time out and then go from there

Answer 3

This is exactly where my wife was standing a month ago, She felt the same exact way BUT REFUSED to let me know that she had moved on with some1 new. My son is 5 too. She allowed me to set up counseling, trying to hug her and pray with her, started back on devotionals with her, tryiing to hold her hand...nothing was warming her up anymore....I tried with no intimacy for almost 2 months! I am so ANGRY right now, that she let me do all that work trying to show her how much I loved her while she was sneaking around Cheating getting another Nest READY! I moved out a month ago and My son already has another man in the home. I never cheated or hit her. . . . and instead of telling me she pushed me away by behaving cold and callous ( She would sit completely on the other side of the room...Everytime) She was telling me mean and hurtful things like " I am not aroused by you anymore, can we get counseling?"
" I can deal with you cheating on me better than not having my
rent paid!" Those words really hurt!
TRUST ME - IF U HAVE MENTALLY MOVED ON AND THERE IS NO TRUST....IT'S OVER! Tell him....don't do what happened to me...PLEASE.
FYI - her cable is now off along with the home phone & her car is getting picked up soon for being 86 days behind.....oh and she is facing forgery/ hotcheck(on closed account) charges and may be fired from her new job soon ( the Police Dpt.) - - - God don't like ugly.

Answer 4

Partners in love only know the rules they have adopted as you may want to agree with me. Your marriage of 4 years and your companionship of 6 years was built on something (foundation)which or may nt be in existence any more. However, if you don't know how to tell him you probably still have something (feeling) for him.

The best way to tell him is to get his attention alone and rather than telling him you are leaving, tell him to come up with ways to better the marriage. At that point, the truth will be unveiled. It takes two to tango, if you open up (without making your decision known) you may get him talking and the two of you can identify individual faults and if there is possibility of solution you will bot know.

But for God's sake, don't throw away your labour if you can help it. The Lord is your strength.

Answer 5

The younger children are, the more easily they can adapt to such changes as a divorce. If you are going to do it, do it now. If you wait until the child is 8 or 10, then the damage could be more severe....

And speaking as a person who's been thru 2 divorces, there's no "right" way. Be as kind as you can, be as definite as you can, and once you do it, just do it and don't 2nd guess yourself. A relationship is rarely stronger after such confrontation, and you'll be putting you and him thru the pain again later. My momma always said, if you got to cut a puppy's tail off, just do it once, not inch by inch.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Nickky!Hey!what is happening to u?. See I know u have resolved for divorce, but hold on now. Your daughter will certainly have her life to live.Ur marriage is one , and ur daughter another.There is a wine that puts back excitement in marriages.IT changes every sour tastes back to sweetness. Call ur man and discuss issues with him.Be wise and know the best time to approach,mind your approach and usage of language, avoid confrontation,and once more adore him. He will certainly listen to u,I promise.But if he refuses to listen to ur reasons,I recommend that you report him to GOD, who is the author of marriage.The future u saw without him is a deception from the pit of hell. Two of u can do better, u can do better with him.God will add wine to sweeten your marriage again.He will fill it with love again, as it was from your beginning.Your marriage will work ,don't separate!Don't tell him nothing except for reconciliation. I love u.

Answer 7

Be honest with him, tell him how you feel and try and come to an amicable solution together. You will also need to consider your daughter in this... perhaps ask a friend or family member to look after her so you and your husband can talk.

Good luck

Answer 8

Living a lie is the worst thing you can do. You just need to find a sitter and have just the two of you there when you break the news to him. Be honest and sincere inyour message to him. It will not be easy to do but there is no need in you living that way.

Answer 9

When someone has paralysis, say in the leg, a doctor will do a prick test, to see if they feel anything.
Now it looks to me as though you have gone through the prick test with your partner.
You dont feel nothin and he's still standin there holdin out that prick.
Sooner or later he's gotta feel a right bollicks.
So just give it to him straight, CAUSE BABY HE SURE AINT GIVEN IT TO YOU.

Answer 10

I think that it's just normal to feel like that. I have been married for nine years and I've been to that situation. Sometimes I feel like leaving the house, but i think that it would be so unfair to him. However, if you really feel that the coldness of your feeling to him is that extreme, you have to talk to him in the nicest way. Just always remember that sometimes we're given trials in life. You have to take this as one of your trials....Good Luck !