Help! My Four year old daughter just returned after a weekend visit with her father.When I approached the vehicle to get her she began calling me a liar.Her father told her to stop telling me. I reassured her she was ok. and could tell me anything. She then said why did you leave my daddy and call the police on him?Why are you trying to get him in trouble? Why are you a liar? I HATE you MOMMY. Daddy say's not to come with you. I then hold back the tears and tell her dad to put her in my car.He does.Once the door is shut I say to him What are you doing? He say's I am not going to Lie to her! I say well You must know you cannot tell a 4 year old her mother is a cheating liar.Her father say's that's what you are.Meanwhile his girlfriend say's to me we didn't say anything. I went to court the next day for an emergency hearing and the judge say's no more visit's until a hearing in two weeks. Supervised Visits? Am I Crazy?
2006-06-28 21:02:12 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No you're not crazy - you've two thing happening here and you need to separate them for you daughter's sake. 1st thing is what would make you ex say that? and why the GF lie about it? (that's still the first thing) second - it sounds like you have a good grasp of what a 4 year old can handle and want to protect your daughter, SO - Did you cheat on your husband? (I'm not judging at all!!!I'm asking because that';s what the judge will ask and you need to be prepared) is this the 1st time ex has thrown this in your face? Did you call the Police on him as she accused? (again no judgement, please am just trying to understand the big picture) If you did and if it was warranted then you need another approach.
Regardless of the above questions I have, you're husband acting in a totally irresponsible manner, to bad-mouth the mother of his child and to try to sway her affection is beyond reproach. You need to have your ducks in a row for that next meeting and remember a couple of things: you don't get your child rights taken away because you cheated, as long as your daughter wasn't physically or emotionally hurt by the action and it doesn't sound like she was (if it's even true) One thing (stereotype of males coming ALERT!!!) that guys do when their back is against the wall is to typically break you down for the thing you do the best... My first husband was all about telling me I was stupid (175 IQ, and I'm street smart... so I don't think so) my second husband was all about I was a bad Mom and when he saw that wasn't working (it couldn't I knew I was a GREAT mom) , it was that I worked too much...Anyway - just be prepared, know why he's saying that, find out why he would try to poison his own daughter's opinion of her Mother, If he hurt you and you called the Police about it, then the gloves are off, and you need to be honest with your girl. Is the Girlfriend cool at all? If she has kids herself, she may see through what he's trying to do and if you could speak to her, she may be an allie....Good Luck Sister...Let us knw what happens
2006-06-28 21:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by Sidoney 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, you're not crazy. Your ex needs to grow up and not use your child against you. Yes, I would say supervised is appropriate at least til maybe you can arrange some counseling for your daughter so she has someone to talk to about what BOTH of you say (intentionally or not.. kids pick up everything) with someone who isn't taking sides. Plus.. that would be a good lesson for him and his little b*tch too back off when it comes to your child! You can tell the judge that it is just until you can arrange the counseling and she can meet with a counselor a couple times to help her deal with everyones feelings.
2006-06-28 21:16:17 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, supervised visits. No matter what happened between the two of you, he should not bring that up in to your daughter. Tell your daughter that what happened between the two of you has nothing to do with her, and reassure her that you love her constantly.
My son's father told me that he's gonna teach my son to call me a "special word", all cuz he's still in love with me and can't get me back. It's his fault I left, and he told my son that it's my fault that his family is not together anymore.
Hope things go well. Good luck!
2006-06-28 21:07:56 · answer #3 · answered by mizz_kitty_79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you are a child yourself therefor confronting her will do nothing except cast a bad light on you. The most you can do is make an anonymous call to CPS or even talk to your mother about it before deciding on a course of action.
2016-03-26 21:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its wrong for the dad to tell the daughter all this info, so you are not crazy... not that it makes a difference but did you cheat?
2006-06-28 21:08:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
went through this, he is mad and going through the child thats the only was he knows how, he will never grow up! just keep reasuring your daughter it not the truth, he is a big asshole! he is mad , hope everything goes well for you and no ya not crazy! i wasnt!
2006-06-28 21:08:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her, and make things stright. Talk to her and find out what is bothering you. As you are her mother, no one can motivate you the way you can. So becareful about it and give her more time.
2006-06-28 21:08:38 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I woulld loved to have heard the spin you put on that one. The judge must be experienced .
2006-06-29 06:57:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not crazy. Good for you to look out for your daughter. He should not be brain washing your daughter.
2006-06-28 21:28:06 · answer #9 · answered by jj02 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋