What do I do?

Question

I'm 34 and I have three children, I've been married for thirteen years, I just recently found out that my husband is having an affair, he denies it, but there are pictures, and they tell the story. Because of work we are apart from time to time, just recently has been the longest time, but I always thought our marriage was strong, that we can survive anything, but, I think he loves her and the only reason why he is staying is for monetary reasons, I tried talking to him about it, but he pretends he has done nothing wrong, but I can't live my life with this tension,I have barely eaten or slept since I found out. I understand that he got lonely, that does not excuse it, but I just wish he would make a decision at least then I can start accepting and move on. I don't want to be a single mother and I like to try if no more then for my childrens sake, but how can that even happen if he does not admit to his wrong doings. What do I do?

Answer 1

First of all I want to say that if your husband is cheating on you then he has no respect for your marriage or your family. I don't care how long you are apart that is no excuse for him to cheat. You may not want to be a single mom but do you want you kids to think that its okay to be unfaithful to your spouse. What if your daughter came to you and told you that her husband was cheating. What would you tell her to do? I know that you dont want to break your family up for your childrens sake but your husband has already abandoned you and your children. If he cared at all for the family he would have never cheated on the mother of his children. He may never admit to the affair but if you have proof then why do you need him to admit to it? I would divorce him and find someone who loves you for you and will not abandon you or your family. Good luck!

Answer 2

Think of how your chldren will look back at your situation ten years from now, and imagine what their advice would be. They'll most likely tell you they love you and don't want to see you hurting. Divorce in your case is certainly validated, and your children will feel the hurt wether you stay together or not, so may as well separate, and be as civil as possible (Trying hard not to fight or speak bad about each other in the presence of your kids) and continue to be good parents.

Oh and one last thing, starving yourself will not fix this problem, but it could possibly cause another one...so eat something and try to get some sleep.

Answer 3

Are you 100% positive he is having an affair? Why would you have pictures? were you spying on him? Is he in bed with this woman? Or out to dinner with this woman, laughing, joking, having a nice time? There is a very big difference, between having an affair, and a casual dinner with a co worker...

From what you have written here - it sounds to me like you brought the tension on yourself...

If you keep harping on him, he will have an affair on you... You have to believe him, and trust him....

If you can't eat or sleep go see your doctor, he will help you..

gl

Answer 4

He really screwed up.
What he did was wrong.
Separate for a while and think if he is worth the time to get back together, maybe you 2 can work it out.
I hope you can because I believe in once married, always married.
No such thing as a divorce in my eyes.

Answer 5

firstly be doubly sure he is seeing someone else and take whatever means possible to prove that! then i think its up to you to make a decision on the rest of your life not wait for him to fess up, mostly they dont!
when you have chosen what is best for you and your happiness the children will be ok and feel secure, if you only stay for them the marriage can leak and fall apart in a worse way in the future!
be kind and nurture you!!