Do I cheat on my husband?

Question

I have been with my husband for 10 years. He treats me bad,tells me I'm stupid, won't let me drive his Beamer,and when I wasn't working he told me that I had to stay in the house because I needed to earn my way to go anywhere. He hasn't taken me out in years,constantly criticizes me, and works 16 hours a day. I met a man with my friend who finds me attractive and is into me(unlike my husband).I keep thinking of cheating on my husband.

I should add that we have been going to counseling for 6months and still no changes yet.I actually have no where to go if I divorce because I can't support myself.(no job and I am finishing school)

Answer 1

Why do you have to cheat? I can't see any reason you have to cheat. As you say that your husband doesn't treats you the way you want him to so ask him for a divorce. First get a divorce and then get married with a new guy who would truly love you and treat you well. Why do you have to cheat?

Answer 2

You sound like you already made up your mind, you are just looking for someone to validate or justify it. The bottom line is, cheating is cheating no matter what the back story is. To be honest with you, and i'm not trying to make you feel bad but it doesn't seem like you have a very high opinion of yourself. I know it doesn't help by having youre spouse constantly put you down, but that's not the reason. That's an issue between you and your self-esteem. Knowing that, you are attracted to this guys compliments, which is understandable but if you go through with it, that will just give you something else to make you feel bad about yourself and that one would be valid. Not for nothing you can't think much of a guy who's willing to sleep with a woman who has a husband, that really don't show much for his character as a man. You are unhappy, that is obvious. Do something about that. Fix the real problem, don't complicate it with more. You are allowing your husband to treat you like dirt, so he will continue to do so unless he has a reason to stop. You are not on an equal level as far as the marrige is concerned, no respect. Take a vacation, alone, meaning without him, just tell him you are unhappy, don't feel respected,appreciated and you refuse to be treated like a doormat one more day. Then pack a bag and go don't tell him anything- just go. Come back in two weeks like youre coming back for more clothes and see what he does or says.If things can be worked out decide if that's what u want. Otherwise start thinking about making a life change. You don't deserve this at the same time, cheating is not going to help anything. Don't b like so many cowards out there who cheat cause they are miserable. Get Un- miserable, than get on with your life and new relationships.

Answer 3

Cheating on a man that you allowed to control you for so long ? I would be afraid and would have divorced that . But you stayed , cheating will probably get you hurt and do you think a man will respect you knowing your married ? Do you honestly think your husband will ever forgive you .He's at least verbally abuse you for years .And 16 hours work days ? Yes many have done this ,but how long ? He might be cheating on you ! 10 years that's a lot , my ex husband and I were married 10 years ( honest) .I questioned the verbal abuse ( about one year that happened ) The very long days (he was gone ) .So I went to a radio shack and asked them how do I tap my phone line , I bought the things ( very easy to hook up ). With in a few days , I heard " , no I can't afford to divorce that #$^ , I'll be there tomorrow .I Love you ! " He hadn't said I love you to me in months .Anyway , being single and older is a big change , but I'm in control of my future now .My ex is a lonely man and I won't even say hi , if I see him .No turning back .If you care for the other guy , move on ( all the way ) .

Answer 4

I'm sad I'm at the end of these answers, because I can tell you DON'T CHEAT. First if you're husband treats you poorly now and he finds out, who knows what could happen??? Secondly the guilt will drive you nuts, and the old saying "Two Wrongs don't make a right" Is never so true as when people are trying to get back at another person. And Finally, to me it would appear that this other guy is your idea of the replacement guy, not really love but just nice. What would it do to you, if your husband found out, took everything because it would appear at that point that you were the person who did wrong, and then this other guy wasn't interested anymore? Remember we always want what we can't have, and right now he can't have you. It makes both of you VERY attractive to each other...

Answer 5

ask a friend if you can stay with them til you can get yourself on your feet. Apply to your local council for housing, if you cannot support yourself there are places such as a women's refuge where you can stay, ok it's not a luxury house but it's a bed and a roof over your head. Leave your husband before you cheat, end the marriage and be single, don't become an adulterer. I left my husband and was in the same circumstances as you, I stopped school, got a job and supported myself, sorry but you can either keep on at school and not be able to support yourself or you can get a job and study again when you are in a better position. If your husband is wealthy you will also get some sort of divorce settlement as well, divorce him for unreasonable behaviour, it sounds like you have grounds for it.

Answer 6

Do not cheat on your husband. You are upset that he is treating you bad but doing that back to him doesn't solve anything. You need to decide if this marriage is worth it or not. If it is, seek counseling. If it isn't, then get a divorce. Putting another man in the middle of an already bad marriage will only complicate things.
If you have tried counseling already and it didn't work, get another counselor or go ahead and divorce. Even if you will be broke, it will be worth it to get back on your own two feet without someone emotionally abusing you. You can do it, women are strong!!! Good luck!

Answer 7

Don't cheat. It will make your marriage even worse than it already is. Your husband will become even worse if he comes to know and may actually feel justified in keeping you at home ("look what she is up to if she gets freedom"). Also you will be using the poor guy to find a corner of happiness sure, but after knowing that, home will seem even more unbearable. Then you will feel guilty in addition to all that you feel now and will not even be confidently able to stand up for yourself knowing that you have done something terrible too.

Much better to get things resolved with the husband first. Stand up to him, figure out the equation between the two of you, get a divorce if necessary. Actually I suspect that since you have never said it yourself, there are things about him that you like. Counselling may hep as may speaking with someone he respects who can speak with both of you.

Answer 8

Why should you cheat your husband? There is really no need to do that. Tell your husband frankly that you are not happy with him. Then leave him and love the other guy. What will you do with a husband who has not given you the love you deserve during the last 10 years. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. If someone doesnt do that, he is not worthy of you. Maybe if you tell your husband that someone find you attractive, he may really know your worth and start giving you more attention. Well dear life is short. Maybe you already wasted 10 years of your life. Its time for you to be happy. Do things you like but do it right...

Answer 9

You're a grown woman, and unhappy in a relationship, Have your relationship with your new friend, be very discrete, and tell no one just yet... find out if this is what you really want (bet it is) And when the timing is right file for a divorce, you are going to need your new friends full support and he will give it to you...

You husband is abusing you and has been for years, he is also a control freak, NO woman should ever have to go through that...

gl

Answer 10

I agree with Queen Ganja. If you cheat on him while you are still married, that will cause a lot of drama, he may even become violent when he finds out (and he will find out). Your best bet is to get a divorce then pursue a new relationship. You may want some independance before you get involved with the new man. You two might not be as compadable as you think and if you two break up, then you are on your own. Think about this seriously before you make and harsh decisions! I have seen too many friends, as well as myself, think impulsively when it came to relationships and make a lot of life changing mistakes! Remember to get a restraining order before your divorce! Good luck