We met on the job 3 years ago, i liked her, she had a boyfriend, later she admitted she like me back, but then i had a girlfriend. Now I'm single, she still as the same boyfriend. We became friends again, but the more and more it's like old times and things are starting to get weird. I'm not trying to start a relationship with her or get her to break up with her boyfriend. I just want her as a close friend. We were getting along great, hanging out more and more, but she started acting weird towards me. We get along too good to waste a friendship. So what do I do to make her feel more comfortable?
2006-06-28 18:01:54 · 12 answers · asked by sTRIKER 81 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You say that "she started acting wierd"; that suggests that it is you, not her, that feels uncomfortable.
What you're really asking is, "how can I keep her as a close friend, without our knowledge of our past mutual attraction getting in the way?"
The answer is: ask her that very question. The simple act of putting the question out there, for both of you to see and discuss openly, will likely lead to a conversation that breaks the tension and leads either to your closer friendship, a romantic relationship, or the dissolution of the friendship -- but one of those is going to happen sooner or later anyway, so you're best off being the catalyst for a straightforward move into the appropriate direction (wherever that may be.)
When you bring it up, do so like this: "I'm really glad we're friends, and that we're so close. Do you ever worry that our old attraction to each other will ever get in the way of our friendship?" This way, you do a couple of things: (a) you bring it up without suggesting she's acting odd, (b) you bring it up without suggesting that you are feeling something inappropriate, (c) you're giving her a way to discuss it if she IS feeling something and couldn't admit it, and (d) she might say "I hope so", and then IT'S ON. Heh.
Good luck.
2006-06-28 18:08:43 · answer #1 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello first i compliment you on not interfering between the two!well,understanding how it is,with you too?the catch here is you both feel each other?(like)with differ paths of the heart now she remains with this dude you single?old times,cool to enjoy!and excepting their relations!but feelings are resurfacing up during the old times together,and even if not going at her in the wanting to hook up manner(your part)it is her part?sit carol ann!down and let her know where the lite is!?let her know you are a true friend,however and you respect what she has and crap can,t happen with you to,if she ignores or however!be the stronger friend,and be just that no matter what?she will appreciate it later.
2006-06-29 01:15:41 · answer #2 · answered by sheena s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She gets to choose how close she gets to you. If you don't like it, hey, that's your problem. Sounds to me like you want to move in because you now have a 'vacancy' sign hanging in your window, but she doesn't, so stop pushing. If she's acting weird, then you don't actually get along as well as you think you do. You do not own the relationship. It takes 2 to tango.
2006-06-29 01:09:38 · answer #3 · answered by VIP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say do this in person but that leads to temptation, you should let her know that you used to have feelings her her but now you just want to be friends, tell her yes you would have loved to be more than friends at first but yall friendship has came to far for it to be messed up by trying to hav a relationship and plz do this over the phone if you can not handle temptation
2006-06-29 01:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by HotCaramel2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she acts weird that means she likes you so if you dont like her back just let it go there is no such thing as a close boy and girl friends anyway especially with your past its just impossible.
2006-06-29 01:25:38 · answer #5 · answered by liljulie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite her and her boyfriend to do something. Then both of them will know that you aren't after her in that way. Good luck!
2006-06-29 01:04:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dn't spend so much time with Her. You can still be friends just don't hang out too often
2006-06-29 01:06:11 · answer #7 · answered by Demonic Angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not take her to romantic places, take her places where you wouldn't be too tempted to get on her. makes it much less akward when your not horny at the time.
2006-06-29 01:06:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off a little. Hang with other people while you're with her, too. "Safety in numbers..."
2006-06-29 01:05:03 · answer #9 · answered by Einsteinetta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Claire(the 1st answers answer)maybe her b/f said something(like he would break up with her if ya'll keep seeing eachother).So to avoid any problems ya'll should all(the 3 of ya'll) do something..................
2006-06-29 02:26:13 · answer #10 · answered by None 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋