what can i do to help me get over a 11 yr relationship he was cheating and now i am a single mom with three ki

Question

i am now a single mother of three kids he cheated and left me i still love him i am lost i was a young mother i got pregnant when i was 16 i have a 10 year old and now 2 little babys 1 1/2 and 9 mon they are exactley a year apart..they are all his kids now he has a girlfriend and she has a 2 yr old he takes care of her and her baby and has nothing to do with mine.. i am 27 yrs old waitress with three kids and a single mom..this is scary just womdering if any one can give me some advice on what i can do to maybe get over this asshole...who i love so much..he was everything to me..

Answer 1

He was cheating on you, and has made it clear he does not want to help with his kids either. That will be his loss in years to come. Your kids will admire you for what you have done for them, and hate him for not wanting to take care of them. Do not badmouth him around the kids cause that will just make him look better. Make sure you get child support, and if he wants to be involved with kids later on let them see him. They will remember him not wanting them now, and he will have to answer to that. Also get education, and get a really good job so you can make life better.

Answer 2

Do all the legal stuff you have to do to get child support first. Sometimes you can find a support group or women's advocate to help, because you are going to be upset and scared for a while. Try calling women's shelters and places like that. They'll often be able to help.

If you need to talk (that's how I deal with fear and confusion), see if you can find a therapist or counselor of some sort, a professional one. You don't need to see them forever, but they can help you sort out what you want and need, and they sometimes know of good resources in your area. The women's groups can probably help you find that, too.

One more thing I want to add is this: be careful to avoid promiscuous sex. It happens to a lot of women in situations like yours. You want to feel desirable. It helps while it's happening, but later makes you feel empty and more lost. Drugs and alcohol work pretty much the same way, and your kids need you now, too, even though you may not feel like you have much energy for them.

Remember that time is the only thing that will heal your heart. It won't take as long as you think. Expect some tough times for a while. But you'll get through this, I promise.

Answer 3

I would say keep busy, but with three kids and a job, I know you are busy. First, you must find a way to put yourself first. If he left you with two babies, he's not worth your time. You are still young. Find a support system. Trade babysitting services with another young mother or get your family members to help. If you are spending all your time thinking about your ex and his new girlfriend, you probably aren't getting much sleep anyway. Find some activities for your ten year old to participate in. Take a class to improve your job prospects. Keep as busy as possible and then you will be so exhausted you will have to sleep. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

Everyone’s been burned, cheated on and totally deflated by their loved one at some point.

It’s not a fun thing to go through, and sometimes it causes the person to become disillusioned with the whole idea of romance, relationships or beginning anew.

They retreat into a shell, vowing to never allow anyone to penetrate this invisible shield of protection to their heart because, after all, they don’t want to be hurt again. And do you blame them?

By taking a time-out and examining yourself closely, you’ll hopefully discover:

1) The only person who can make you happy is yourself

2) In order to be the person someone would want to love, you have to love yourself first

3) Being a queen instead of a pawn guarantees self-confidence and self-satisfaction

4) Self-love comes first and relationships naturally follow

5) You are queen of your own destiny

Good luck in your life follow your heart.

Answer 5

I think first you need to worry about those kids. You need to go apply for whatever help you can get. Ask your family to help you with the kids, and take them for a day so you can get a break. This may sound mean, but my guess is he's never coming back. Don't try to get revenge and drag it on. Just worry about yourself and those kids. Eventually you'll find a good man that will treat you and your children right. I'd take him for whatever he's got. Go apply for custody, child support....all that good stuff. Men think they can just walk out whenever they want. That's called ABANDONMENT and that's against the law. Just hit him where it hurts. (His wallet)

Answer 6

You can Holla (e-mail) at me.
I've been married 18yrs. with a son 17,And
come to find out, He's not even mine, & has my name.
The contents of this world is ****** UP, and we have to live in it.
I would love to be your ear in moments such as this.
My e-mail [e-mail].
Just call me DUMMY!
No ,matter what you do just keep the Faith,
REMEMBER, everything happens for a reason.

Answer 7

first thing you do is go to your local child support agency and apply for child support, you owe it to your children to make sure they are properly taken care of. getting over him is the hard part, don't try to find a substitute for your ex. if you do start dating you'll probably compare everyone to him which isn't good ,but will happen. take time to get over him because eventually you will. alot of crying and why me.is inevitable,but will eventually fade and things will start looking better for you.