is it ok to get someone else for the job?

Question

If wife denies sex to husband for several months (over 12), does husband have right to find someone else to do the job for her. That is if she has been given several warnings, but she gives all excuses in the world. How long does the man have to before taking offer from someone else just for that particular job?

yes husbands asks why, but wife give answers
my leg hurts
my head hurts
my throat hurts
my arm hurts
too much home work

think of it and i got it as an excuse.
everything but the exact reason

Answer 1

Ya know, giving a woman "warnings" is not generally considered a good way to get her in the mood. In fact, it's a great way to send her out looking for a man with some respect and some SENSE. Try counseling, and try considering that maybe you're part of the problem.

Answer 2

If she's okay with that - which I don't know why she would be - then I guess that's fine.

The question to ask is WHY does she not want to get intimate? You need to seek counseling - it could be a health issue on her part. My friend is going through the same thing, and they're undergoing therapy but he said they're most likely heading towards divorce. A marriage isn't a marriage without intimacy.

You should REALLY consider therapy before you even start to consider infidelity. It's just WRONG.

Answer 3

I don't think this is the best way to handle the problem.You need to talk to your wife about this issue.Tell her instead of sending her warnings.Just be honest with her talk to her just as you have so easily asked for help with this matter.Marriage works better if people communicate their problems instead of expecting their spouse to read there minds.If you present the issues to your wife this may help.Sometimes women don't understand how important sex is to the male species.Try different things to get her in the mood.I have been married 29 years.Make it interesting.It makes you wonder whats going to happen next time.I hope this helps.Just remember treat others the way you would want to be treated.

Answer 4

Today is your lucky day. I am a church trustee and sunday school teacher and we just covered this topic in our teacher's meeting. It is both a husband's and a wife's duty to look out for each others needs, whether they be sexual or otherwise. Twelve months is totally unreasonable. If your wife hasn't made love to you in twelve months then there is definitely a problem in your relationship. I would first recommend that you get marital counseling, preferably from a pastor, and try to find out what's going on with your wife. Personally, I place my trust in God and rely on the power of prayer so I can't tell you to go out and cheat on your wife. I believe that as men, we set the example for the younger generation. What we stand for as men defines us. If you can't work things out with your wife, you may want to consider getting a divorce under the grounds of mental cruelty and alienation of affection and finding someone who will love you the way you deserved to be loved. Good luck. I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 5

I think that you guys should go to councelling, there might be a reason for her rejecting you. Have you sat down with her and spoken to her about this? I mean sit down and talk not walk in to the room and say lets do it, it just dosen't work that way. Try to be really romantic with her, when she is at work or out of the house, get off of work really early and prepare a candle lit dinner for her, make the night all about her. I don't know if ou do or don't already do any of this, but sometimes that is all that you need to do is to give her some tlc, cuddle with her give her a massage rub her feet, but don't expect sex after this, just slowly work you way up to it. treat her as if it is your first date every day.

Sorry for blabbing it is just that if I don't want sex there usualy is a reason, (medically, or just not feeling the love, etc...)

Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

Maybe divorce is the most reasonable option.
Anyway I wouldn't blame you for doing what you suggest... and maybe it will end up in a divorce anyway.
Also, don't rule out the possibilty that wife denies sex to husband because she has some with someone else.

Answer 7

If there is martial problems, then the husband and wife should seek marriage counseling. A man and a woman are married to each other because they love each other, and if there is no love there, then they need to find out why and try to work through it.

Answer 8

Why are you still married to this lady???? And sure, there are lots of women who would just as soon not bother with sex anymore. She may sue you for divorce claiming (rightly) adultry. If you choose to have an "open" marriage, ask her to sign a paper freeing you from any sexual obligations......She may just like it fine that you are getting sex from somewhere else, and she still gets to keep her household together. Weird, but....hey, whatever works. (Interesting that you call sex a "job"...are you that bad a partner?)

Answer 9

This is a very sad question,... Obviously you don't respect your wife enough to sit down and have this conversation with her, you'd much rather ask a bunch of strangers on the I_N_T_E_R_N_E_T! This is ridiculous, ask your wife how long she'd wait for you, since they are her feelings your playing with, it is soley her decision to make.

Like it or Not, I'm honest!

Dora

Answer 10

There is probably a legitimate reason for her refusal regardless of the little excuses. Talk to her best friend to get the truth. It's probably a personal secret she's been hiding for years. Be careful with her.