For the married people out there ...?

Question

How did you know that that person was the right one to marry?

Answer 1

I think that it was becuase I loved her and hated her at the same time and I was willing to put up with the crap to be with her no matter what.

Answer 2

We seemed to just "click" together. We are pretty much complete opposites and we more or less balance eachother out. He's the crazy, progressive one and I'm the stable one. We've always had out differences but we've also always been passionate about eachother no matter what.
Another thing that really tipped me off that I knew he was right - was when we were about to get married, everyone kept asking if I was nervous and I wasn't even a little bit nervous. Turns out neither one us were nervous about committing the rest of our lives to eachother and that really was amazing to me!

Answer 3

Everything fell into place for us. It felt like we had known each other forever. We just knew. i had been married before. But it was nothing like when I started dating the man I am married to now.

Answer 4

Well that is a really tough question. I thought I knew but didn't. People really change once you have been together for a while. I guess you have to follow your heart and hope that it leads down the right direction. Best of luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Cause I never thought of anyone else when got together it felt right there was no cold feet no worries we just knew were for each other

Answer 6

Oddly enough, I couldn't imagine living or being alone anymore, he was all I wanted, and when that feeling still is there, 9 years later, I guess I just knew.

Answer 7

When the fact plus stick showed +positive+

Answer 8

Heres a little advice someone once gave me and I never forgot it:
Don't be with the one that you can "see yourself with"
Be with the one that you could never see yourself without

Answer 9

Well, this is an issue of how well you know yourself, and your future possible spouse. If you do not know the person well, it is difficult to know if s/he is the right one to marry and commit your entire life to.

Love and lust are two very seperate things. Lust lasts a very short time, while love can last a lifetime and become a deeply bonded and special relationship. Physical attraction is all well and good, but it is a chemical reaction between two people's pheromones, and has nothing to do with an emotional attachment or bond between the two experiancing the attraction. Lust, or physical attraction, does not require an emotional bond to be enjoyable. Many do not understand how physical attraction works and often mistake it for a connection of love. Which it is absolutely not. We will go through our lives attracted physically to many people, even while in a committed relationship. We can not control physical attractions, as they are purely chemical in nature. However, we can and should control how we react to them, what we decide to do with them. When we realize physical attractions are going to occur over the course of our lives we can be prepared for them. We know if we do not act upon them they go away in time. Sometimes they go away right away, other times it can take a bit longer, but they will go away if not acted upon. Often, even if they are acted upon the physical attraction will burn itself out, leaving nothing behind if an emotional connection was not established during the physical relationship.

This is why many hop in and out of relationships. They find themselves physically attracted, mistake this for more than it is, hop into a relationship and when it burns out think they "fell out of love" when in fact there was simply no love involved in the first place, just a plain, normal, physical lust. This is also why many ruin great relationships. They do not understand that true deeply emontionally bonded love connections have ups and down, or lulls in them. The skill is to understand these lulls will occur, and work to get the "spark" back into the relationship, or just to wait it out, together. When one does not understand that this is a normal situation in all long term relationships, that lulls are going to come and go, a person may mistakenly think they are no longer "in love" with their partner, and begin looking for a new physical attraction. Or they think every single physical attraction is "falling in love" and hop from relationship to relationship, never understanding why they are unable to sustain a long term relationship. A good clue you are with one of these people is if the person has had many short term relationships. like of a one, two or three year duration. Sometimes even four or five years is also a sign. Any who continues to have many "monogamous" relationships, but all are over a shorter period, are simple unable to sustain a long term relationship. I would avoid these types like the plague as they will only hurt you deeply.

Listen, if you are mature, know yourself and your potential partner well, have an understanding of what it takes to sustain a long term relationship, are basically emotionally healthy, and feel much more than a physical attraction for your partner, if you truly care about them as a person, as an individual, have a sincere desire to put their needs before your own, and your partner also has the same need to do so with you, then you possibly have found the one who will last a lifetime. If either of you are unable to consistantly place the others needs first, are immature, do not know yourselves or each other well, do not understand what it takes to sustain a long term relationship, then do not get married.

At the very least you need to know each other well, have a decent level of maturity, and have a real emotional attachment for each other other than a physical attraction. With this you can both learn together the skills and knowlege it takes to sustain a long term marriage. If either of you lacks the abilty to put each others needs as prime importance, and/or are selfish, it will not work, it will not last and do any future children a favor and do not have them untill you have figured out all of the above. The best gift you can give your children is the gift of a healthy marriage which is able to weather the storms of life as a couple, as a team, as a married union. If you have doubts do not get married and do not have children by that person.

Get to know yourself well, make sure you have a solid foundation in self esteem. Get to know your partner really well, make sure you know who s/he is, what their standards are, how they behave, how they treat you and others, and then, only then if you are sure you have much more than a physical attraction, have developed a true emotional bond, then consider becoming engaged. During the engagement take the time to ensure this is the right person. Make sure you have taken the time, at least a years engagement period (after the dating) to really know this is a real love and a person who you will be able to respect and honor as s/he will treat you as well.

Marrige is not something to take lightly. Especially when you bring children into the situation. You have a right to have a relationship which will last the duration, in which you are both nurtured, get your needs met, are safe to be who you are, know you are loved for the whole you, not just a part of you. For the positive and in spite of the negitive. To know you are of prime importance in the life of your partner and have a solid commitment and communication, to be respected and honored. However, you need to be prepared to give the same to your spouse as you wish to receive. It has to be a two way street, a comittment of you both to the well being of each other and an honest, open understanding that a sustainable relationship is an entity with a life of its own, with needs of nurturing and care. To know life is going to be difficult and not run at the first sign of trouble or difficulty, to agree to not turn outside the marriage when the marriage is troubled but to look inside for answers. There are never any fix to be found looking outside a marriage, when you do it is bound to break or shatter the union.

If you understand all this, have a deeply bonded love which feels right to you both then I would say you found the right one. If you take nothing from this post take this: Communication is the number one important skill in sustaining a relationship. Any relationship, but especially a marriage. Also, there is no room for competiveness between spouses. We must always be looking for the best interests of the other, not for what we can win or our own best interests. If we both do this, then both "win" and both consitantly have their needs met by the other. Blessed Be.

Answer 10

you know its the right person, when you see him/her everyday and it feels like its the first time that your seeing them.