my son is 3 yrs old and his father left when he was 2 weeks old and has not ever seen him! Now all of a sudden he wants to come into his life. I think that he has no right. He name is not on the BC. My son has my last name! He says he wants to make it work and wants to be a family. I really think that all that I have been though with him that he makes me sick and I don't want to not let my son have a chance with him. I am just so afarid that he will up and leave again and then I will have to be son hurt and sad and I can't do that!!!! Do you think that I am being crazy?
2006-06-28 15:38:26 · 15 answers · asked by Ally 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It is all well and good to say give him a chance! Then what happens to my son when he has come around for a year or so then he finds aomething better to do or just leaves? Then I have a 5 year old who is heart broken. It is a real sad thing that anyone can do this to there child.
2006-06-28 15:57:58 · update #1
Why don't you try limited contact for a while and see how it goes. If he is serious he will show up on time for his visits with your son. If he isn't you will know pretty quickly. If you feel more comfortable you could go along with them to make sure he can deal with your 3 year old appropriately. I only think you should make the effort for your son's sake. I'm sure you want what is best for your child and I think it is important for a son to know his father. You must have seen something positive in him at sometime since you have a child with him. Give your son a chance to see that positive side as well. Put your feelings aside and make an effort for your son. Good Luck.
2006-06-28 15:48:10 · answer #1 · answered by kukkanna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. You are being very sensible given the guys track record. Don't jump in to anything. First of all I don't believe this guy for a minute. I mean what's the hurry. Go on with your life as it was. One of these days you will find the right one and then your son will have a father. If that's what you want. There is a lot more to the reason behind this guys sudden interest in fatherhood. If you will just give it time the truth will be revealed to you. Just keep on being smart.
2006-06-28 15:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by c.nolan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Son if 13 You should ask your Son if He wants to meet His Father. If the tables were turned and you wanted to meet your Child would you want the other Parent to stop it or would you rather it be up to your Child ? Your Child is old enough to make that decision. As far as a relationship with the Father you have the right to stop that. Good Luck.
2006-06-28 15:46:44 · answer #3 · answered by Jean f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have the right to not allow him around his child. It's called abandonment. He doesn't have the right to do that. But people do change. And your son deserves to know who his father is even if it's only to discover that he's a royal butt-head. If he really wants to see his son and you want to push against it, he might just turn it into a nasty court battle. I'd say let it be a temporary supervised kinda thing. For a year. If he can stick it out bump it up a little. If he doesn't like it, tough, that's all he's getting!
2006-06-28 15:44:57 · answer #4 · answered by Fexy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all,, your not being crazy at all.
You are trying to keep stability in your childs life.
Dad waited a bit long to want to pick up here.
If you have no interest in Dad,, then tell Dad that,, and see if he hangs around still wanting to be the childs father,, make sure he knows that the best he might ever get is supervised visitation with the child and no contact with you.
I personally wouldn't give him the time of day unless he got an attorney and forced a DNA test and the court ordered visitation, but that is just me. You do what you feel is best for your child AND FOR YOU.
2006-06-28 15:42:26 · answer #5 · answered by yeller 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is not your son's father. He is your son's donor. He did not feel the need to see your son for 2 years. I don't think you are crazy. If he really wants to be a part of your son's life he doesn't have to be with you to do it. Tell him to start paying child support and tell him he needs to start by having suppervised visits. I also went through this with my daughter. This is what I told him he needed to do. And I never heard from him again. My daughter has a father it is the MAN who has raised her. The MAN who provides for her and who has been there from the begin. Not the guy who helped make her.
Good Luck.
2006-06-28 15:49:16 · answer #6 · answered by butterfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're being crazy. You have valid feelings. This guy has been gone for 3 years and now he wants to come back? Well I would have serious reservations about it too. I'm a firm believer that every child deserves to know their mother and father, but really what kind of father has this guy been? He hasn't provided any financial support. He hasn't been there. He hasn't even asked for a picture. I think he made his choice 3 years ago and he should stick to it.
2006-06-28 15:42:48 · answer #7 · answered by tinydancer42001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son has the right to know his father, and his father has the right to petition the courts to prove that he is the father of your child and fight for his parental rights. I say let it happen, with supervision, and see about getting child support in the mean time.
2006-06-28 15:45:36 · answer #8 · answered by webfly2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't say how old ur son is now.is he asking about dad? tell him alittle at atime for his age make dad earn some trust with u don't just let him back in ur son has a right to know his dad but don't just jump into it take it slow anyone can b a father but it takes someone special 2 b a daddy
2006-06-28 15:47:28 · answer #9 · answered by bamabellntx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no ur not being crazy! i think u should talk to his father and ask him y all of the sudden and maybe u'll answer ur own question but give the guy a chance but be with ur son and never let him out of ur sight! NEVER!!!
2006-06-28 15:43:22 · answer #10 · answered by hotchikdancer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋