Help!I'm pregnant 3months, not told yet my boy friend as he is getting divorced and has a son with his wife..

Question

what can I do, we are so far away and see each other ones a month.His wife its giving him hard time as she wants more then she can have,if I tell him do I help him and myself too, or I should wait till his wife signs one of his proposal.He lives in Arizona, and me in europe.I did not know for 5 months he was married, when he told me via email,I find out after, that I'm pregnant and I sow him 2weeks ago but I could not tell him.I dont want to stress him more than he is already, but we love each other so very much and I'm sure in that.What to do in did I'm hurt happy and confused at the same time.

He was not in love with his wife, which was divorced before and had a dautgher 16 years with her first hasbund, and he raised her too. Yes he is geting divorce as I've seen the papers and spoke with his son too, 10years old.I do believe in our love and in him, I will never aborte, yes I'll tell him when I'll go there in 2 weeks if all goes OK.

Thanks everybody but please not panic, I'm adult indipendent and have my home and I don't need a men for anything as I'm strong enough.I just fall in love with some one as I never had, the same for him at firs sight, only he lied becouse I asked him sraight way if he had a girl friend or wife, as I dont want trouble.I'm not the case of divorce and I'll never do that even it I love someone so much, they was living separate before he met me.

Answer 1

My question for you is this: what are you getting hooked up w/ a married man? After you found out.......you should have ended it.

Now you are going to have a child w/ this man,,,,,,and I am sure that he is still going to be a cheater......

My thought..don't tell him...take care of your child and stay away from other women's men

Answer 2

My heart goes out to you. You have quite a responsibility on your shoulders. First, honesty and trust are the key foundations in a relationship. He truly should have told you he was married, even if it was a bad relationship, it would have given you a fair choice, even if you still wanted to be with him you would have considered birth control first. I have seen and found in the past, waiting for some one to leave a spouse can usually take too long if it even happens at all. You will only know what he tells you, especially since he is sooo farr away. Be fair to your self and set the example, tell him, if you are truly who he loves he will be kind and reasurring, even if he still needs a little more time on the divorce. If it does not go well, i fear to say he may not have wanted a full relationship with you. I wish you the best, be honest, if he does end up hurting you, love your child as much as you wanted to be loved, your all the baby has.

I NOTICE A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE TELLING YOU TO "GET RID OF THE BABY' FOR YOUR OWN PEACE OF HEART AND MIND, IF YOU CANNOT KEEP IT, PLEASE PUT HIM OR HER UP FOR ADOPTION. THIS CHILD IS THERE FOR A REASON AND HAS A RIGHT TO LIVE. Your child was concieved in love , let it live to be loved.

Answer 3

I know how you feel hun iv been trying for monthsss now, But im a little bit more hopeful this months hun, My sister got pregnant 15 months after trying to conceive the only thing she did is use preseed its a lubicricant that mimics cervical mucus or something lol ive done research and quite a fiew people have had sucess stories, my sister was givein the all clear by the doc turned out my brother in law had low sperm count if this is the case with your fella this could realy do the trick, Iv tried it this month but still in my 2ww , Il let you no how it goes lovely, xox all the best, all if ur not using opks use this , on positive opk day and pref like a day or two before of when you think you ovulate so you catch it, xx

Answer 4

if he's happy and in love as much as u say u both are then tell him, at the end of the day your 3 months pregnant now and u can't change that, u and the baby are the only people who matter now.yes his wife may be making his life hell at the moment but she doesn't need to know does she? she is soon to be the ex after all, and its not like your bump into her if shes on the other side of the world! tell him via email as he told u about him being married in that way or next time u speak to him just drop it into the conversation. It's to late now to do anything about it.
good luck I'm sure you'll be a great mum with or without his support.

Answer 5

Congratulations on the baby. You say that you love each other so very much. If he loves you so much then why did he lie to you about being married. He is already married to someone else and has a child with this woman. I doubt you will see him again after he finds out you are pregnant. You must tell him you are pregnant. I feel sorry for his wife and child. You can not trust this lying deviant person but you must do everything you can to protect the interests of your baby. I hope you have a supportive family.

Answer 6

I think your best bet is to go ahead and tell him and you shouldnt be worried about stressing him out-its yourself you dont want getting stressed as its no good for you or your baby.
With no disrespect to your boyfriend, can you honestly believe or trust this man? He managed to hide from you, the fact that he was already married when he was happily declaring his love for you!? Are you sure you want to bring a baby into this world when you and the baby's father dont really know each other yet!
Im not saying you should abort the pregnancy (even though i myself am not against abortion, so long as there is valid reasons) but personally i would think about going in to parenthood alone! Its not as hard or as bad as everyone thinks, if anything, i think it is easier to do on your own!
You dont sound conviced yourself about this guy...make sure you know in your heart, if this mans truthful or not before you start shouting out to him that your pregnant!!

Answer 7

What a mess. In your shoes, I'd get an abortion. There is no way I'd raise a child by myself in this society. He won't leave his wife for you, guaranteed. Take care of yourself. Being a single mom is the worst of all possible worlds....
And do it soon.... the longer you wait, the bigger an operation it is. At three months, saline will probably work just fine. You made one mistake by getting pregnant, don't make another by bringing a child into this world who will have no father..... What ARE you thinking -- that he will leave his wife to be by the side of a pregnant lady....Ha...

Answer 8

The real reason you did not tell him is fear.
Fear that he will do a runner, straight back to the arms of his wife.
Sorry to be harsh but that is how it looks to an outsider.
If he really loved you he would be with you by now.
It would not matter to him if she took everything but the clothes he stood in so long as you could be together.
I hope I am wrong, but I feel that this man was only in this "relationship" for a fun, fling & not for the long haul.
And. even if I am wrong, he has vheated on one family who is to say he will not cheat on yours too. I think you & your child will be better off without him.

Answer 9

if u would keep the baby no matter what, then u got nothing to lose. i think if u love each other then news of a baby on the way should be a happy time for u both and not stressful. his previous wife and their son have nothing to do with it, they're a completely different issue and should not affect the outcome. good luck to u

Answer 10

Get rid of the baby you will be a single mother otherwise!! You are in a real mess. I feel bad for you but you must tell him if he wants to be with you and loves you he would be happy about it if he does not he wont want to know