whats the best way to tell my fiance?

Question

Im having second thoughts about our relationship, hes verbally abusive and i tired of it, he calls my 2 year old son a punk, punk this punk that never uses his name.what do i tell him without makeing him mad

Answer 1

Girlfriend, you need to leave.... Personal experience talking here. Do not marry this man. I did marry a man who treated my son like that... at first it was all a "game" he said, but my son ended up getting the brunt of his abuse.... he used his own kids to bully my son. I was in that marriage for 5 years. My son was 7 when we got married and 12 when I left. Those years I watched my son act out at school, getting into fights, failing his classes, and getting violent at home. After I left, my son, now 14, has flourished! He gets As and Bs, his self esteem has gotten better, and he is no longer an angry child.... I know it was the situation with my ex and his kids that made him angry. My son wanted my ex to be his dad terribly, but was destroyed by the torment and rejection. Please do not put your son through that.... even if you can tolerate the abuse to you, think of the impact it can have on your child... the impact of the abuse of you and him having to see it and the impact of the abuse of your son and your son having to live through it.... protect your son and his future state of mind and well being.... There is someone out there that deserves you and your son, who will treasure you both. My mom remarried a man when I was 7 and he loves me still like his own daughter.... He is the Dad I always dreamed of having.... want the same for your son.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like that guy is already mad. If he is verbally abusive then he is a man that is just looking for people that he can have power over, trust me I know. If you tell him that you are having second thoughts then tell him why, if he loves you he can't get mad at you for being honest. But what is most important is your 2 year old son, the question you want to ask yourself is that what your son deserves and do you want your son to treat other people or yourself like that. Not only that he will allow other people to treat him badly if he has to grow up like that. You seem like a mother who cares about her son, so let your son be your strength and end it with the guy. If you are scared of the guy have a loved one that can stand up for you be there when you tell him. Just remember you are your sons future. Good luck, you can do it.

Answer 3

First of all who cares if he is mad he is not nice to your child you shouldn't be entertaining this guy. He sounds very abusive to me and if you are not careful he will be physical. Verbal abuse usually ends up to be physical. Do you want your 2 year old son to grow up like that? what are you doing? that baby deserves the best his mother can give him. When you tell this winner that you want to get out of it make sure you have back up waitin outside and make sure the baby is not with you when you do this.

Answer 4

If he is being verbally abusive now, imagine what your son is learning about how to treat other people. I would tell him in a public place, to avoid loud confrontation, drive yourself, and leave your son at home or with a babysitter. He may be mad, but you deserve better.

Answer 5

i think u should really dump him... would u rather be single other than be married to a abusive man. if he wants to marry u that means he is willing to love ur son as well. i think u should be with a man who will love ur son as he loves u... i think u should tell him that u r really tired of his vocabulary and the way he treats ur son...

but first of all u have to be sure to know that what is more important to u... your temporary happiness or ur son's permanant happiness/future.. u may find a guy who loves u the way he does... but if he is cruel to call a small kid a punk, then i think u should dump him.... but think at least twice....

Answer 6

If any man can't show your son no respect then he gots to go. Your son is only two years old if this man is not respecting him now he will never. Not !!! Don't you love your son (yes) ok so don't let him do that to him thats abuse calling him names what else is he doing to him. Your son has a name don't he

Answer 7

When you become a parent your most important job is to protect your child. You must protect him from anybody that hurts him. Verbal abuse will chip away at your son bit by bit. If you marry someone who does this you're not being a good parent.

Answer 8

Tell him that the way he treats u and the way he talks to ur son u don't appreciate it at all.And that u think that until he changes how he treats u guys u think that it is best that u guys do not get married. if he is treating u and ur son like this now how do u think he is gonna act when u guys get married. So just call it off for now. Do it for ur self and ur son

Answer 9

With the punk thing, i knwo people who do that to try and relate to a kid because they dont know whatelse to say, they want to seem "cool" and thats just like men. About being verbally abusive. wow you need to tell him that you dont like some things he says and if he does it again then you might have to call it off becuase you have chilly toe, not cold feet just chilly toes.

Answer 10

If he's abusive, he will probably get mad no matter what you say. He looks for excuses to get mad. The important thing is to get out of that relationship for your own sake and to protect your child.