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Heads up~ this is drama...
Would you rather your husband, now ex, who is kind, mature, considerate, generous and respectful, yet a tad boring and doesn't make you want to rip off his clothes....

OR

Your boyfriend, is sweet, caring, affectionate, and loving, who you have awesome sex with, yet doesn't provide security, has some drinking issues and does things that seem immature?

What if you had a child for each of them?

Don't even comment on how crazy it is, because that is a given.

2006-06-28 14:55:21 · 34 answers · asked by ladybug 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

I was married for 8 years and yes, he loves the baby and was there for the birth and ocassionally takes care of him.

He is the ex because the affection, which he professes profusely now, just wasn't there.

After reading the responses, I am more confused... but keep answering!

2006-06-28 15:24:47 · update #1

Did not cheat on my ex!!!!!

2006-06-28 15:39:30 · update #2

Don't need child support!!!!

2006-06-28 15:39:43 · update #3

34 answers

That is a difficult situation, but one similar to what I have been in. I went with the security. For you, even though you love them both, it is important to have security. If the only thing that was wrong with your relationship with your husband was he was boring in bed then that can be fixed with a counselor and some great books. Communicating your needs are very important. You both could learn new things that way.

As far as the drinking and other issues with the boyfriend, if those can't be resolved in a healthy way, then the best thing is to move on from that. Whatever your decision is, try to go with the healthiest relationship and work on that one to make it successful.

2006-06-28 15:04:58 · answer #1 · answered by Wonderfulhaven 3 · 2 0

Ur X is ur X for a reason, and ur boyfriend just sounds plain 'ol annoying. I think you need to spend a lil' time by urself, use that time to reevaluate ur life, and to figure out why u seem to repeat the same pattern when it come to ur love life. Kids don't need drama. And believe it or not, ur drama is their drama, kids are smarter than adults tend to give them credit for. Ur not the only woman in the world who has children from separate relationships, sh** happens. Just take some time for urself and really think about what is it you want from a relationship, and don't settle for anything less. But to answer ur question, I would have to say neither.

2006-06-28 15:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by cleotis 1 · 0 0

Husband! If being boring was the main problem then that can be fixed.you may have to steer him in the right direction and find ways to be exciting but its better than the other choice. Make sure that all other issues between you and husband have been dealt with and that he doesnt plan to hold it against you the fact that you have a child by the boyfriend.

2006-06-28 15:05:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

When I was in my 20s my idea of romance was candlelight, soft music and champagne. Now I'm in my 30s and romance is all about commitment. I guy can rock your world and forget your name the next day, but a guy who is willing to build a life with you - that's a guy who's all about standing by you. Maybe you can teach the ex some of the passionate tricks you learned from the boyfriend. Definately worth a try! Good luck!

2006-06-28 15:08:48 · answer #4 · answered by clueless 3 · 0 0

You should consider the fact that the ex is ex for good reasons and if he has any brains, he won't take back a partner immature enough to even ask this question. If you aren't absolutely, positively, without a doubt sure about who you want, you aren't ready for a lifetime commitment!!

2006-06-28 15:04:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I would have to choose the ex husband. You may not need stability but the kids do. I don't like the part of the drinking issues with the boyfriend.

2006-06-28 15:02:08 · answer #6 · answered by lostinlove 6 · 0 0

Oh my gosh, sounds like you are talking about my life. My ex-husband wants me back and he has changed his life and is a good man but I am not passionate about him. And then there is my boyfriend who I have incredible sex with fun with but he is younger and a bit immature and I don't see a secure future with...
did I say the sex is good :-)~

Sorry didn't answer your question - just a comment.

2006-06-28 15:00:45 · answer #7 · answered by Laney 1 · 0 0

i would choose ex-husband because of the crazy things that could go on between u and ya boyfrined but for starters u shouldnt go back to your ex because if ur tryna have a little fun in your life then you should go with a little bit of immaturity so that u dont throw off the wrong impression to show that ur too stuck up to have a little fun. if ur ready to settle down goin with ur ex would be better if ur not ready for sex, that way u keep yourself safe and still keep ur players card.

2006-06-28 15:02:38 · answer #8 · answered by lauren_a_06 1 · 0 0

That is a toughie i would say stick with hubby and teach him a few things or stay with the boyfriend and teach him a few things as well. Either way they both need repairing and with one of them you will have to put your foot down. The drinking thing with the boyfriend is no good for either of your children so he has has has has to get that out or he can go scratch. Good Luck

2006-06-28 15:00:35 · answer #9 · answered by blondiebella 3 · 0 0

The only reason why you are considering your ex is because you realize that immature boyfriend isn't going to pay child support for his, not because you love your ex, but because you don't want to be broke and by yourself.

You're going to pick the ex and then cheat on him again.

2006-06-28 15:24:02 · answer #10 · answered by tolula 3 · 0 0

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