My fiance' has not had any income for about 4 months now. We have 5 kids together and we have been together 7 years. I have been telling him that he needs to get back to work to help support our family, and hey says that he is trying, but to me he is not trying hard enough. He may go out and fill out applications once a week at the most 5 each time. He has no college education and I keep telling him that he needs to learn a trade or something, so that he will be more employable. I have been working my butt off and I am tired of coming home to a messy house and having to do all of the cleaning. Lately when I get home from work, he leaves to go over to his friends house to hang out. I have told him again and again that things need to change. What can I do?? I am at my wits end. I love him, but I cannot live like this much longer. I am tired of being angry and sad all of the time. Oh yeah and the other day he came home with a tatto with my name in his shoulder!!!!!!
2006-06-28 14:48:47 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is three types of people in our world; adult, child, parent.
You are a parent, he is a child. If he was a adult or parent, No. #1, you would have been married by now. #2. The job scene has changed. The only way to get a job today is sign up at a temp employment agency. Employers hire people as temps first, then offer them a full time job later if they work-out.
If he does not even do THAT, then it is time to dump this anchor and move on with your life.
How did he pay for the tatoo? With YOUR money?
2006-06-28 14:52:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you wont to married this person,marriage is a community and there are down falls in it but you manged to work it out,but you have 5 kids that a lot and you are doing it all if you don't work this out you will lose interest in him and seek love else where. The time he spend with his friend he should use it to find a job,a really man would not let his woman suffer like this, at least clean the house,have my dinner ready and rub my ac ken feet's from a long days of work. I think he should at least do that because if the shoe was on the other foot this is what a man would wont.....
2006-06-28 21:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by sweeppe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man who was laid off work for a while a few years back and unemployment ran out, I never stopped trying. At least I cleaned for my wife and cooked and did dishes. I took a job as a janitor in an office and believe me I felt good even with that. If I was like your boyfriend I hope my wife would have left me or put my things out. As long as you allow it, he will do it. Put down some rules for the house work. Als make him seaech even harder for a job. He may be saying he is filling out applications but is he? No woman with kids needs that. Put you foot down. As a man I sure would want a woman with a back bone. Tell him to "you know what" or get off the pot. Think of your kids then you not him as it seems he is not thinking of you. I wish you all the luck.
2006-06-28 22:01:53 · answer #3 · answered by CathyM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, it seems to me that he has a full case of: LAZINESS!!!! and you seem to be the one in charge at your home. Sweetheart, its time for you to stop and look at your life and where its going, and think hard about it. Then, have a sit down with your guy and give him an ultimatum: shape up or ship out! He knows you are working your butt off and could care less about you. A real man, a man who loves his wife and children, will not sit by and do nothing all day while his wife kills herself! Please, take action now before its too late for you..ok? I am sure that you will have an answer as to whether or not he trully and really loves you when you get tough and tell him what he has to do..ok? I am here if you need more advise...
2006-06-28 22:31:26 · answer #4 · answered by TONY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The tattoo thing may have been sweet but couldnt that money have been spent a better way? While hes not working, he can at least take care of the household chores and help out with kids but it would be helpful if he learned a trade and it dont have to be something he hates but something he can be content with.Good Luck! Yuy deserve a break too.
2006-06-28 21:57:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit him down and explain tht you realize he hasnt been able to find a job but if you were at home like he is tht you would make sure it stayed clean and have dinner ready for everyone at 5.So you would like to know his feelings on this ?Then go from there then you will know where he is coming frm.And make it to where he has applications in the early morning so he can manage to keep things up at home.
2006-06-28 22:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the house go to Flylady.net. It is an enjoyable system and the house will seem to clean itself. SO much happier! :)
For your husband, YOU send out his resumes, one a day, and make his job interview appointments. YOU apply him to trade school/university. It sounds like he is depressed AND overwhelmed and is regressing to a younger time.
Is it fair? No! But, you have such a large family, for now I would "suck it up", lose the resentment and just do it. I know it must suck!!! Or, make him be a Stay at Home Dad.
2006-06-28 21:56:40 · answer #7 · answered by emilsignia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honey I know it is easier said then done but you gotta put your foot down or make him go.... he has to man up and do what ever it is he has to do to make what ever money he can for his family... it want get any better the longer you wait.
2006-06-28 21:58:12 · answer #8 · answered by panda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I I have a friend you told me if she didn't eat it, wear it, or make love to it in four months, she got rid of it.
2006-06-28 22:00:00 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. Dave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him and then buy yourself a case of condoms!
2006-06-28 21:53:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋