Anyone else?

Question

My mother in-law can not stand me. I try so hard to get along with her and make her happy. I always try to respect her even when she obviously trying to disrespect me. I'm afraid this will affect my relationship with my husband. What do I do?

Answer 1

OK, I am an expert on this one!
I have been married to the same woman for 32 years.
We dated for 3 years before we got married.
Wow, that makes 35 YEARS!

Anyway, her family is spanish, mine is not. HER family is like my big fat greek wedding. "But he is not greek! (spanish). Both her parents feel that she has made a terrible mistake, even after all these years.

But here it is bottom line; I married my wife, she married me. We did not marry the parents. My wife and I are going to live a lot longer than her parents (we outlived mine), so we put the two of US first! Mother in law does not like it, too bad!!

Answer 2

Luckily my mother-in-law lives 6 hours away so we get along great! lol..If I were you I would NOT try to make her happy. She may be jealous she has been replaced. She has the problem, not you. Does your husband stand up for you when she is disrespecting you? If not I would question that rather than what behaviour you mother-in-law decides to toss your way any given day..don't give her the satisfaction..good luck to you!

Answer 3

1. If your husband loves you, he will not put up with that crap from his mother. It is his job to intervene.
2. If your mother-in-law loves her son, she knows it is her job to get along with his wife. Obviously her priorities are out of whack.

This is a difficult position for you, but my best suggestion is give your husband two choices. Either 1) he takes a stand and insists that his mother be respectful of you, or 2) she's not allowed in the house, and you aren't going anywhere she's going to be.

Answer 4

Well, mother-in-law is the infamous problem in a marriage life of a couple. I became a hypocrate because of her. I cannot quarrel with her due to respect and my husband will not take my side for sure. How wrong his mom could be but to him she is 100% perfect. It's unbeliveable! All this while I will be also a 100% good daughter-in-law infront of his son, telling him how good is his mom and show 110% of concern and understanding for his mom even though within your heart you yawning to list down all her bad doings for her son to know. Never ever complain about his mom because his mom is perfect...always remember! Let him find out himself and set a trap on her to let her expose her bad ways herself and then pretend to be super understanding when his son has an argument with her. Not worth sacrificing your marriage as your husband is not at fault as he has only one mom is this world when he actually get replacements for wives....so good luck to you!

Answer 5

try staying away from her, my daughter is going through the same thing and just 2 weeks ago a argument broke out and the mother in law called her a b word now she is in my house for 2 weeks, and there heading for a separation, sometimes mother in law can break up a marriage so my guess is if u can't get along stay far away from her. good luck

Answer 6

same thing happened to me and the more you try the worse it gets. Just be polite to her no more than anyone else and if your husband sees how mean she is to you he may say something to her. Don't go and visit her that much and just stay more focused on your own family. Don't draw your husband into this because after all it is his mother. My husband had to stop seeing his parents because they were interfering in our marriage and tried to bribe my husband to divorce me. Sounds like the mother in law is jealous of the love your husband has for you

Answer 7

How does he feel about the situation? Does he stick up for you when his mother puts you down or tries to disrespect HIS WIFE?
I would hope so. I had the same problem with my ex-mother-in-law. We ended up splitting up because of her.
He always sided with her and didn't want to disrespect HER, being his MOM.
You need to stand up to her yourself. He really shouldn't have to choose or be in the middle, but he SHOULD support you and protect you & your feelings. If you don't stand up to her, she'll continue her childish, resentful ways.

Answer 8

Don't' stop with the respect and stop trying to make her happy. Your marriage is your top priority. If there is something you think she might need to know about your relationship with her, your husband should talk to her on you behalf. That's the best way for her to "get the message."

Answer 9

Honey...I had a mother in law from hell!!! she was rude as could be to me!!! But she was conniving also...when her son(my hubby) was around she acted all nice....as soon as she knew he was out of ear shot she was rude and mean...My husband realized my complaints and stuck by me...we've been together 7 years married 5. Your relationship will be fine as long as he defends you and stands up for you. Also I moved us out of state....We have the whole country between us and her...LOL. But if he stands up for mommy over you......you fill in the blank.my mother in law is so bitter over everything that she and I have not said more than 100 words to each other in 5 years...she alos has nothing to do with our son...The problem is the mother in law hun...NOT YOU

Answer 10

Letting it effect your marriage will allow her to win. It is a life long battle for a lot of women as nobody is ever good enough for mommy's boys. Just be cordial, take the high road. If your husband does not stand up for you then that is where the problem resides. She is pushing your buttons and it is up to your husband to ask her nicely to back off!