i am engaged. i have 3 kids boy14, girl12, boy8. he has 3 also boy13, girl7, boy5. their mom moved 500 miles away 7 months ago they have only had phone contact. i consider them my kids even though they treat me with very little respect. i have been under the belief that they would improve when they see i am commited to their dad and them and am not going anywhere no matter how bad the behavior is, this is now being tested because i dont want a story fabricated by a hurt and confused little girl to gain sympathy from her mom to cost me my own children. my fiance knew from the moment his ex relayed the tale, that i had not hurt her, i have refused to even spank her even though he has encouraged me to do so when necessarry.
2006-06-28 12:37:30 · 16 answers · asked by wendy s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let him handle the kid and the "X" and don't take any crap from them. Why doesn't kid live with her mom?
2006-06-28 12:47:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation. I just got married and have one son. My husband has one son also who is 11 years old. I have been nothing but kind and caring to this child. My husband was at work one day and I heard him call his mother and say that I did not feed him and that me and my son were eating in front of him and refused to let him eat. I was cooking 3 meals a day for this child. I started to hear stories from other people of things he was saying I did to him and that I was being cruel to him. None of this stuff was true. He is very spoiled and very disrespectful and his mom lets him do whatever he wants. His birthday is like a national holiday and he has been raised to believe that he is the center of the universe. You need to tell your fiance to straighten this kid out and if her mom has a problem with it then let him straighten her out too. This is what my husband is doing because I told him I would leave if he did not straighten this out. I am not here to be abused or disrespected by anyone and I would never allow my son to treat my husband that way.
2006-06-28 13:09:44 · answer #2 · answered by New York Mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The girl is only trying to get her mom to come back and she will try anything to do it. She will also try and split you guys up because she wants dad more to herself. I have a 14 year old stepson and we went thru 3 years of living hell and it finally got better. The best advice I can give you is to stick it out if you really love like you say you do. I know that when the kids grow up they will have the utmost respect for you because you were there when their mother wasn't. I have never touched my step kids and never will. I don't suggest you do that. Any other ideas but no physical discipline
2006-06-28 12:42:59 · answer #3 · answered by Wendy B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing unless the other mom makes a big deal.
If she does make a big deal, make sure your new hubby is really on your side and send the other mom a brief note, saying you'll be happy to give your side of the story any time she can sit quietly and really listen.
If she won't listen to both sides before forming an opinion, she doesn't deserve your time or concern.
2006-06-28 13:04:32 · answer #4 · answered by Uncle Thesis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for family sit down. This sounds like a child jealous or upset about a new member of the family. If you guys get married you will encounter more if this one is not handled at the moment it begains. Start now to have a healthy marriage later.
2006-06-28 12:41:22 · answer #5 · answered by igardentoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have to agree with others you are being a complete sucker. the kid is playing you and you are letting her. yes they are kids, yes mom left, blah blah blah blah. tell her if she wants to cry about being absued go for it, she'll be taken away and put in a foster home, not you! the thing is they need to learn with a quickness that mom did what she did but that in no way means they can treat others like crap and get away with it. you are headed for big trouble if you don't straighten all of them out right now! get on the phone with mom and tell her straight up that its bs, that the girl is playing everyone. then you tell the girl that is she doesn't straighten up she's gonna find out what its like when life is really rough. you better get up and quit being a doormat for these poor hurt kids or you are going to be trampled to death! your job as a parent is to prepare them for life in the real world when they grow up, not to poo poo them about things and teach them that they can treat people badly because in the real world others aren't going to put up with it!
2006-06-28 12:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you all need to sit down and have a conversation about the behavior what you will tolerate and what you wont tolerate
she is making you out to be the bad one
and mommy dearest is in denial
counceling for that brat wouldn't hurt
and dont let her run you over like she sounds like she is doing
2006-06-28 12:40:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
imsorry i really didnt understand that at all..to me it sounded like u were engaged to a woman at the beggining......as long as ur fiancee knows the truth thats what matters...he shud talk to the daughter and tellher thats not right or nice and she shud respect u because daddy does.
2006-06-28 12:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
refuse to have her visit especially since it all can lead to you being arrested for child abouse. this is serious, and if your fiance is not willing to do something to rescue you from this fibbing brat maybe you need to rethink your possible marriage to him. jail just doesn't sound like something i would enjoy. how about you?
2006-06-28 12:43:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have enough kids of your own she needs to raise her kids and your husband did he love you are was he looking for a nanny. when you saw the package deal you should have ran like hell
2006-06-28 12:56:59 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋