Can someone be in love with you and be using you at the same time?

Answer 1

Of course!

Love is a feeling, an emotion, that one person feels towards another. Your actions should reflect the love you feel -- but they often don't.

Here's why: love and respect are not the same thing. Someone who respects and loves you will not use you, because they both want you to be happy and feel you deserve to be happy.

On the other hand, someone who loves you without respect certainly wants you to be happy, but doesn't necessarily believe that you deserve to be happy at their expense, and so they'll do things that harm you if it is in their own best interest. In short, they'll use you.

The inverse is also true; if someone respects you without love, they have no interest in seeing you happy, but they'll believe you deserve to be happy, and so will often go out of their way to do nice things for you.

Of course, if you're being used, it might also be that they neither love nor respect you -- and so they'll keep on using you, and lying to you.

So how do you know if it's love without respect, or neither? Well, the good news is, you don't have to know which one it is -- if someone loves you without respect, then your relationship is doomed anyway. They'll keep on treating you badly, then beg you to stay when you threaten to leave; ultimately, you're better off hanging out with people you respect, and who respect you. Hopefully, you'll find someone to love in that group, and live happily ever after.

Answer 2

Nope. Because if someone is using you, then by definition they don't love you - we don't use the ones we love. We may unintentionally hurt the ones we love - but using someone is such a premeditated behavior. Anybody who answers differently has a shallow concept of love.

Answer 3

I don't think so. If they love you unconditionally they wouldn't be using you. They could be infatuated by you or attracted to you, and using you. They could like you, and perhaps use you. But LOVE in the way I see love (respect, friendship, honesty) then no they can't be in love with you if they are using you. That doesn't mean you are not liked or anything, just not love.

Answer 4

Yes

Answer 5

Personaly,I don't think so. They are either using you or they are actually in love with you. If u truly loved someone,would u use them,of course not! Since,you love them you wouldn't use them because of how you feel. If u didn't love someone,would you use them? Maybe,because since you don't love them,and you don't care about how they feel,you might use them.

Hope this helps.

$Moneydudeguy$

Answer 6

no. if they truly, really love you they would never use you. EVER.
however, if it's, maybe, the kind of boyfriend who's still regretting the break-up between him and his ex and he's just using you as a "replacement", then sure- he could be using you..
but if it's true love- you've got nothing to worry about.

Answer 7

Ahhhhhhhh... a philosophy question.

Well in a sense....isnt that what a relationship is all about???

He loves you....you love him..... and you both get something out of the relationship. It would seem that if he uses you as a partner for bowling....but loves to be with you anyway...whats wrong with that?

Answer 8

well they can say that they are in love with you and use you at the same time. But if thats what they do then no. they are not in love with you. they are just full of crap

Answer 9

Definatly

Answer 10

Absolutely!!!!
You can be enabling them to further innappropriate behavior without realizing it.
They can view "love" as a means-to-an-end and take advantage of the person with realizing that they are ultimately harming that person..