Pre-Marital Counseling?

Question

I'm wondering if anybody out there know if there are pre-marital counselors in the Southern California area that is low cost or free? No ministers please. Me and my boyfriend are contemplating marriage in a few years. Any interns or graduate students interested in counseling in Los Angeles?

Answer 1

just so you know, it is unethical for someone who is not licensed to do counseling. and you can't get licensed until several years after training. HOWEVER, many colleges will have their grad students "practice" on people ... they will have their own counseling centers and are available to the public at a reduced cost. sooo .... my advice is to call your local university (would have to be one that has a graduate school in psychology or counseling).

Answer 2

If you are willing for an intern or grad student then contact the local colleges. Visit the yellow pages and start calling until you find one at the price range you want. Ask a friend to help. There was a question on here within the past month about pre-marital quizes or questionairres, look that up and do it on your own. Ask a talk show to do a segment on this and air your dirty laundry there. Just talk to each other! What do you like most and least about each other? What do you expect from a husband / wife? Where do you stand on money issues? Which chores do you consider the man's women's or shared? What do you want out of marriage or spouse? What are your child rearing ideas. Where do you stand on seeking outside help and from who? What do each of you do when upset / mad? How does each of you handle what the other person does when upset / mad? How do you feel on company / entertaining / going out? What are your values and ideals? Set relationship boundaries beforehand based on some questions / complaints on this site and what you could / would / could not / would not put up with.

Answer 3

Don't listen to those morons who say "don't get counseling!" 15 years ago, my wife and I got premarital counseling because her dad was hoping the counselor would tell us we were making a mistake because she's white and I'm black. We learned so much about making a relationship work that is simply not intuitive, and we had been together for five years before we got engaged. We couldn't turn to our parents, as each are divorced.

If you look hard enough, you can find low-cost counselors, or maybe your parents will help foot the bill. Also, your health insurance will probably cover some or all of the cost of your sessions. Whatever it costs, it's worth every penny, and I say any couple who don't get premarital counseling are asking for trouble!

Answer 4

My husband and I went through marriage counseling and to tell you the truth, I thought it was a joke. First of all I believe that if it isn't gonna work, then no amount of pre-counseling is going to make it work. Second, if you need counseling this far in advance, then way are you two getting married in the first place?

I think that is helps if your relationship is already strong and going in the right direction. I went because of my husband. we have a good relationship, we had a good relationship before we went to pre-marriage counseling.

I just think it is a waste of time.

Answer 5

I just love Yahoo Answers because people will advise people not to get counseling before they get married so they can discuss issues that they might have to deal with before they get married, but then advise people who's marriage should have never begun to try counseling because "you gotta keep the marriage together!!!!"

It's sick.

Also, I understand about avoiding religious counseling because they try to set up a biblical framework that if you don't agree with will only work to cause you more problems.

That said, I'm not from L.A., but try Craig's List. Advertise what your looking for and detail that you want someone who's certified and detail how much you can afford.

It sounds like a risk to take, but you can remain pretty anonymous until someone answers who sound decent. I've done this before with other things and it's worked out great.

Answer 6

Did you ever consider talking to your parents? I mean a serious heart to heart talk about what to expect from a marriage? I'm sure they can tell you all the things that come up and potential problem areas in a marriage. For example: careers. What are each person's plans, how do they intend to go about it, how to compromise; money: are you savers or spenders, financial planning, views on owning credit cards, etc., kids is a big deal. Will you be a working parent or not; how many kids do you plan to have; how much do they cost, etc.
I think you should give them a try. They might surprise you.

Answer 7

If you need counseling prior to marriage, I wouldn't be too quick to dismiss input from the clergy, because you'll need all the prayer you can eventually get, and this coming from a secular-oriented person.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

why do you need it if you love each other thats what matters if there are problems now get out of the relationship it will only get worst