I don't like my husband smoking?

Question

I've been married for 4 months, been together almost 4 years. when we first got together he use to smoke but quit. He recently picked it back up again and I really do not like it. (for obvious reasons) I've tried to talk to him but he doesn't want to quit. What do I do????

Answer 1

To repeat the advice I agree with: You cannot make a person do something they don't want to. It may be an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.
Now for my own opinion. Criticizm adds stress which can make others want to smoke more. I think it is good he is not hiding it from you, but ask if he would respect some boundaries on his smoking. Some boundaries could be that he not smoke in your home, that he not smoke in the car if you are in the car with him or in other confined areas. Ask him to brush his teeth after each cigarette. Whatever the two of you can compromise on.

Answer 2

You have a right to be comfortable, just as he does. If he wants to smoke, then set up some rules:
No smoking around you
No smoking in the house
No smoking in your car
No cigarettes when he goes out with you (so he's not running for the door everytime he has a craving, while you sit and wait alone).

These rules don't sound like much, but they're hard to live with 24-7 if you think about and he will hopefully give up on his own.

Also, let him know that it's a respect thing. He's cutting his life short by smoking - he's trading time in his life that he could be alive and with you, all for a cigarette.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear that. I never cared to be around anyone that smoked for very long. About the time or a little before my ex and I decided to get a divorce, she started smoking. I've always wonder if it was like a smog to get rid of the pest, me! lol

I'm not saying that that's what he's doing, but I'd sure talk to him about it. It's strange that he quit after you guys got together and now he's starting back up again. Good luck.

Answer 4

I can relate, I married a smoker. Over the years it has been harder for me to deal with because of an increased sensitivity to tastes and smells. Plus of course as she gets older I worry about her health because of smoking and I am afraid it will rob me of years with her. She has always been good about smoking outside. She has tried to quit a couple of times and is has currently gone with out for over half a year. It is a real struggle for her at times and I know she really wants to smoke again. My thing is I just keep telling her how proud I am that she has managed not to smoke, and let her know how much it means to me that we might even get a few extra years to spend together. For you, you might try the same thing as I have and that is to make it about health and the relationship. If your spouse really loves you then they should be able to relate to that line of thinking. Beyond that I'm not sure there is anything you can do until he wants to quit because it is an addiction and every addict must want to help themselves before anyone else can help them.

Answer 5

He is your husbasnd and you knew he previously smoked so chances r he would go back. You have to take the good with the bad Im afraid. Noone is perfevct. Tell him WHY u want him to quit. Let him know u love him and dont want to lose him any sooner than u have too! Let him know how much he is needed! If that doesnt work- justr accept it otherwise its going to make him angry and it will only cause little arguments all the time! Good witgh the bad Im afraid

Answer 6

Least keep trying to talk , to him about his smoking. Let him know, that you don't wanna breath the smoke from his cig. Second hand smoking can kill, and you don't want to breath it day and night.
Have him to take it outside, if he won't quit it and continue on with it. It's hard to quit smoking, even cold turkey does not quit. Maybe if he trys to slow down on them. Then maybe he would just give up for good.

Answer 7

To quit smoking a person has to want to. Just because u want him to, doesn't mean he has to (obviously) and It only makes it harder. U don't have to accept it, just make him smoke outside. If he knows he can do it (because he has done it before) he will quit again...no doubt. Us smokers know it is not good for us or the people we are around. You do not have to keep telling him, it will just piss him off and he will do it out of spite :)

Answer 8

you need to ask him why he started smoking again? He could be under stress due to his job or what have you. Tell him he needs to quit for these reasons: (1) it is bad for his health (2) it is an expensive habit and (3) you don't like second-hand smoke!

Answer 9

Thats a tough one. My husband smoked occasionally when we were dating. Then he saw how heart broken and scared I am at losing my parents to smoking. 13 people in my family have already died due to lung cancer and/or emphysema, all smokers. I fear for my mom and dad, and my husband saw what it was doing to me, so he quit even his social smoking. He did it out of love and because he logically knows why he shouldnt. Tell him you love him and dont want to lose him. Its just as bad as if you were to gain 200lbs and didnt care about your health. Only his habit can hurt others too. You know him best, try to figure out a way to get him to quit without him thinking youre making him. Maybe tell him that you get tempted too, but you have him as your motivation not to do bad things. Or maybe just explain your fears. Or agree to quit something with him, like soda or something that is bad for you. Support him without controlling him. At least, get him to not smoke around others. If he must be selfish, other people shouldnt have to suffer

Answer 10

look this is exactly what i would do...
do some GOOD research not just what you know..
get detailed facts...
when he leaves you can find any ciggerattes he has hidden or anything...
leave a post it note with a very important fact on it on anything you can find..
then buy a few like of those quit smoking gums and leave anice note ont hat that say like "Take a few of these its better for everyone."
smokeing can decrease your living time...
you can die at 40 already from smoking..
so try it it might help