My lover has four dogs and soon to be three cats. I moved in with him and promise to move in with him in his new house, just purchased. However; I don't like sleeping with the dogs in the bed. One small dog jumps onto the bed every night. In the middle of the night I feel like I'm sleeping in a mummy sleeping bag, because I'm unable to move.
The other night I BBQ steaks, and really was unable to enjoy the meal because the dogs noses where 4 four inches away from my plate. The other day the dogs where licking the utensil that I was using to flip over the food, on the BBQ pit. He loves animals!!! But I'm I crazy or are these unacceptable behavior patterns? I could use some advice, because I don't want to sleep or have sex in bed with the animals there. I've tried speaking with him, but he's so in love with his pets and becomes cold with the conversations. What do I do?
2006-06-28 10:50:22 · 8 answers · asked by Swordfish 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
There is a difference between being a pet lover and letting your pets walk all over you.
If it is going to be your home to, he has to agree on some reasonable rules.
No dogs in bed.
No allowing dogs to lick utinsils or plates.
When you're eating, the dogs have to keep away (this might mean tie them up outside, or shut them out of the room if they cannot maintain a reasonable distance.... lets say at least 3-5 feet).
None of that is unreasonable to ask for. It seems like he never properly trained his dogs in the first place, but that is not your problem. It is silly and rude for him to expect you to put up with his poorly trained, spoiled, and misbehaving pets without a peep.
That said, if you can't even discuss this issue with him without him becoming "cold" that worries me more then the pets. Good relationships, especially live in ones, need good communication and a willingness to compromise. If he can't even discuss his pets with you in an adult and healthy manner, I would be cautious. Because he's not going to be able to discuss other vital relationship issues either.
2006-06-28 12:37:01 · answer #1 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 8⤊ 3⤋
When I moved in with my gf I quickly discovered that her dogs displayed many unacceptable behaviors. Fortunately I am a canine behaviorist and trainer. I communicated to her right away that I was not going to tolerate this behavior, even if she was willing to. I worked with the dogs consistently, and let her know that I expected her to be on board, that I could not live with such ill behaved and out of control dogs. I said these things gently and lovingly, she understood my feelings and agreed. The dogs are much better now and it has improved things with us too. Explain your feelings, carefully, remember that he is a "doggy dad" and will be hurt if you are harsh about his babies. But your feelings must be heard and considered as well. Ask him to get his dogs into some kind of obedience training that both of you can attend and work on. Otherwise one or both of you will end up becoming resentful of the other over this. Good luck!
2006-06-28 11:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by NoBoysAllowed! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Him being a dog lover make him completley blind to the yucky gross things the dogs are doing. I find myself not being bothered by the samethings and then some. But you are obviously bothered by it, well I hope you can talk to him and express how it makes u uncomfortable to see the dog lick the cooking utensils (lol, sorry I find it funny) and other such behaviors. And ask if you can both go about learning how to train them not to. So this way, your kinda bitching at him, but the mess isnt all his to fix, and you can have a great time reading books on training and being involved in the training process. Just let him no ASAP, it is both of ur house...not just his, u have to be comfotable too!
2006-06-28 10:58:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your lover "loves" his pets-he may expect you to love them too! Just because he loves them does not mean you have to accept their behavior or sleep with them. It is also true that I am an animal lover-but I do not force my partner to be uncomfortable. You really have to let your love know how you feel-and if a compromise can be met, otherwise you will become resentful. He may too? Try to talk about it without distractions or hurtful comments. Do not talk about the animals-but more to him about your comfort level. The only answer is communication when you love!!! Good luck!
2006-06-28 11:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by concerned 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm....that sounds creepy and unhygenic. I think you need to talk to your luver, telling him that you know how much he loves the beasts, but they do need to be put elsewhere when you're eating. As for sleeping? Well, I love the pups in the bed, at the FOOT of the bed, but if it ain't for you, then ask that he help you make some different arrangements. Note: Don't whine. Men HATE that tone. It's like, it doesn't matter WHAT you say, but it does matter HOW you say it.
Good luck!
2006-06-28 10:58:15 · answer #5 · answered by Ellie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it relies upon, with a canines i think cool and strong reason i have been given my buddy the following with a cat i'm able to easily look and snort and watch in any respect the loopy issues it does cats are gonna win this conflict as this mans perfect buddy
2016-11-15 09:29:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the dogs are probably laking a love life. when the dogs jump in bed with you, they are probably looking for a peace of ***. just give it to them. then let the dogs do you. that will solve the dog problem.
2006-06-28 16:33:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find another lover man. Someone that cares about you first.
2006-06-28 10:54:52 · answer #8 · answered by R M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋