I live in the States she's in France and she's been calling me and e-mailing me incessantly for 2 years. I get a call yesterday from a local number and it's her! She's in my neighborhood 'visiting a friend' and wants to see me. We used to be friends when I met her in France, but then she told me it wasn't enough and she wanted more. That's when the relationship soured because I wasn't interested like that and will never be. Should I pick up and be polite or or stay away ?
2006-06-28 10:00:30 · 20 answers · asked by Lareponse83 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Over the course of these 2 years, I rarely responded to her e-mails and explained to her numerous times that there would never be anything more than friendship.
2006-06-28 10:10:32 · update #1
if it were me i would pick up the phone and tell her that you don't want to see her(if you do want to see her strictly tell her the rules and what and what not to expect) but you appreciate her interest. i wouldn't be mean, but maybe she is just misled. maybe she thinks that you like her and that is why her effort is so strong. i wouldn't try to hurt her i would just firmly tell her how you feel. also if you think that she came to the states just to see you than you might want to take that into consideration. you may want to visit with her since she came all of this way. you never know maybe she has changed over the past two years and you might like her more now and in a different way than you did when you were in France. you never know, but if it makes you uncomfortable to the point where you feel the need to bring pepper spray than don't go, but other wise i would. but that is just me. take it or leave it. whatever you decide i wish you well. God bless.
nsrunner16@yahoo.com
2006-06-28 10:09:49 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's not true stalking, it is keeping in touch and pursuing a potential relationship. Believe me, there's a difference. What she is doing is mild by comparison and you can take control if you want to.
If she thinks you could be friends, she might just be pursuing friendship or may be trying to take it to the next level. Maybe you encouraged that by being a friend with benefits? I have no idea whether that is true with you. But some will say they want to be friends, but will do other things that confuse the other person.
You need to be really clear with yourself about what you want from her. Do you want to be friends? Is that why she is calling because you are her friend? Or do you want absolutely nothing to do with her? Did you tell HER that?
If you have already taken all of these steps, then tell her one more time that she must not contact you in any way or you will consider it to be stalking. Make sure she knows that if she crosses the line again you will take action and tell her the action you plan to take.
2006-06-28 10:18:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really dont want her, then you can do one of a few things:
- tell her that you feel unfomfortable or are not interested in her.
- tell her you have met somebody.
Tone down the contact by not responding to emails and phonecalls. Be busy when you accidentally 'bump' into each other. Think of a few good reasons to why you can't stay chatting, so you don't come across undeceisive and potentially interested in her eyes.
Good luck ;)
2006-06-28 11:48:37 · answer #3 · answered by Otto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer her next call. Simply be blunt about the situation. Tell her to stop calling you and explain to her that yall have nothing and never will. Sometimes, life requires a person to do certain things to get a point across. Don't beep around the bush-be real!
2006-06-28 10:24:35 · answer #4 · answered by Classy 1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she "stalked" you at all. I think you thought you were safe because she was in France and you weren't. You gave her your email addy and phone number, then for two years didn't change either of them? Sounds to me as if you liked the attention and now that she's in the States, you've been busted so to speak. 'Fess up, be honest and tell her don't want anything to do with her. Then block her email and change your number
2006-06-28 10:10:06 · answer #5 · answered by Molly A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should call her and tell her the truth. Let her know that you are unavailable to see her - if she persists then tell her that you really have no interest in being a friend or anything more. Be polite about it, but also be firm - you don't owe her anything, she came to your town on her own accord.
2006-06-28 10:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call her and tell her you would be happy to hang out with her while she was in town as long as it was just as friends and for her not to expect any thing from you. If you do go out with her as friends don't pay for lunch or anything like that because she might think you are getting a little "friendly". You may give her mixed signals, but yeah go out with her just as friends. Why not?
2006-06-28 10:17:18 · answer #7 · answered by spoiledrottencollegegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it bugged you so much, you wouldn't have put up with it for 2 years. You'd have blocked her number and her email address, or changed yours. Having said that, you might as well go ahead and meet her...seems like somewhere inside you didn't really want her to go away after all.
2006-06-28 10:04:14 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she came all the way from France to USA, just to be in your neighbourhood, you should be very wary. At least tell some friends of your concerns
2006-06-28 10:07:50 · answer #9 · answered by giddy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, two years is a long time... She might be beautyful now.. she might have changed.
Go take her out..
It is your fault that she has your phone number and your e-mail address..
You can always change your phone to un-listed,, Change your e-mail address if need be..
Good luck
2006-06-28 10:06:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋