after 5 years of trying my husband has been told that he is infertile,has no mobile sperm and can not have kids ever. one option is to use a sperm donor but he refuses, he won't even speak about it. does not consider that an option but I want to get pregnant at least once and adopt the rest. What can I do??
2006-06-28 09:15:07 · 15 answers · asked by ani2525 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's very hard for us men to understand the desire you have to want a biological child of your own, that "biological clock" kinda thing. we think more of the fact that some strange man will be impregnating our wife.
its a hard enough thing to get over an affair, with a child as an outcome. and i know the two are TOTALLY different, but to a man..they are quite similar in feeling.
he may feel inadequate as a man, for being unable to give you what you so desperately want; a child. and he may resent that you want that child so badly that you would choose to be pregnant by a stranger..rather than adopt.
my wife and i discussed this option at length..i personally didn't like the idea...but i wouldn't have denied her the right to have the biological child she dreamed of having; she choose not to go that route...but only because in the end, the idea of another man's sperm..in her...made her ill.
you both need to discuss every option, i know he doesn't want to...but i think if you try to calmly let him know just how important it is to you, he would listen. let him know you want to hear HIS side of it as well.
good luck
2006-06-28 09:35:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
I relatively do not recognize your considering while you say "simply wish her to preserve to our contract of the followed baby and no bio-little one." Yet, you additionally acknowledged you didn't wish to any extent further infants---so what might be the reason of adopting, that might be a little one/baby?? Then for your announcement, why is it ok to undertake however no longer have a bio-baby? A baby is a baby and I can se why your spouse might wish person who she has carried. Just cross get it reversed, persons do it at all times, if it does not paintings then you'll bear in mind different choice BUT if you don't wish one more baby then you definitely must no longer have one in order that you'll preserve a residence!!! The explanations you gave aren't explanations you must bear in mind having a baby as a substitute you undertake or it's bio. As for the donor sperm, persons do this at all times, I see not anything fallacious with it IF you can't produce one to your possess.
2016-08-31 08:56:35 · answer #2 · answered by leng 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should first find out why he is so against that option. Has he told you or come up with other options? Are you sure he even wants children? If he does and in vitro fertilization is not an option, because of choice or money, then adoption is an excellent option. It should be a decision you both make together.
2006-06-28 09:22:29 · answer #3 · answered by fabguy4fn12 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame him. I don't want another guys sperm in my wife. Adopt. There are plenty of kids out there that need a good mom and dad.
2006-06-28 09:18:38 · answer #4 · answered by Fishgutts 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you need to see a counsler and talk about your needs with your husband. Reassure him that you aren't looking to have some strange guy have sex with you and get you pregnant...just find someone that looks like him (your husband) and have the spream fertilze your eggs and have them implanted in your womb surgically...
It is still "your" (your's and his) baby...and he is still the REAL father! Since he is the only one that the child will even know and grow to love and respect.
I'm sure he feels hurt and like a failure because he can't give you...or himself any children.
It is difficult to take that kind of information...get some help...give him all your love and talk about it...don't nag or constantly hound him about it...just get a counsler and ONLY talk about it in the sessions with the counsler.
After awhile...I think he will come around.
Good luck!
2006-06-28 09:42:23 · answer #5 · answered by some1_on_the_side 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
they do have sperm donors at clinics, just heard but not sure if there is really a place like that check into it.
2006-06-28 09:35:30 · answer #6 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to pick the donor it will cause him to have control of the situation again
2006-06-28 09:24:03 · answer #7 · answered by Best answer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is my opinion that you need to tell your husband that his attitude is selfish and petty. It is his duty to buck up and do anything he can to provide for your needs. A little thing like biology shouldn't be a problem. And you can bet your bottom dollar that once the baby comes, he'll change his mind!
2006-06-28 09:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
i am one of thouse peolpe who cant have kids but my life is doing ok but i raiseing 3 teenagers who are not mine but i consider them to be you should realy try some other means of have kids
2006-06-28 09:31:17 · answer #9 · answered by trouble 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
having a child is a couples decision, get counseling from a professional. good luck.
2006-06-28 09:22:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋