I don't know if all newlyweds feel this way or not. I feel like there's no spark between us.
2006-06-28 09:02:52 · 19 answers · asked by halocraze86 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We fight a lot and it seems like everything is just same old, and the spark is gone. I bend over backwards trying to make him happy, but there is no romance from him or any attention towards me or anything. I don't know what to do.
2006-06-28 09:28:56 · update #1
I just celebrated my 1st anniversary and the first weeks after the wedding were anticlimactic and I too was unhappy. The reason: The wedding and preparations were over. And I thought "is this it?" Reality set in with a quickness.
As time has progressed and problems have occurred, I think back to why I married this man and everything gets better. Through this year I have threatened to leave he has threatened to leave, we have discussed counseling but we have done none of the above.
Now we have settled into a routine where we once again love and respect each other and we look forward to the years to come.
Yes we lost that spark but there was still an ember and we have fanned it into a blazing flame.
Good luck
2006-06-28 09:20:00 · answer #1 · answered by mirkyl 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Real love isn't always about sparks so if they are missing don't over-react. You sound as if you need a counselor because you and possibly, your husband, seem to have the wrong expectation of marriage. If he is abusive, you need to leave because the longer you stay the more control he has. The biggest advice I can give you is to not complain about him all the time or put him down to your firends. That will surely end your marraige because they will start reinforcing your words and you'll find more and more fault with him as time goes on.
2006-06-28 16:19:23 · answer #2 · answered by lavenderbluememories 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 2 months, and I still love my hubby the same. What is wrong? Why are you unhappy? Don't give up yet? I know at least one person told you marriage wasnt easy. Did you guys take marriage counceling? If not that may help, In the class you learn your roles, what to expect, good communication skills. If you need someone to talk to email me I'll be more than happy to talk to you! If not good luck. Marriage isn't like dating you just can't up and leave so try to work things out no matter what!
2006-06-28 16:11:33 · answer #3 · answered by MissSmartt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, how can it change so quick!? If you felt that spark and really thought you loved him only a month ago what has happen to change your heart and mind so fast? I would try to talk to your pastor at church or a marriage counselor if he is a good working man it will be worth trying to save the marriage. Does he think it was a mistake too or just you!???
2006-06-28 16:12:07 · answer #4 · answered by JACKIE M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on why you are suddenly so unhappy. hope you didn't get married thinking that existing problems you already had were going to get better just because you had a party (wedding) and now wear a ring. if so then yes its safe to say that you made a mistake. marriage is hard work. nobody said it was easy. sounds like you two are getting ready to get a crash course in communication because without it you'll never find "the spark".
2006-06-28 16:15:00 · answer #5 · answered by amyclay350 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling, try to find out why you feel so unhappy and what can be done to turn your marriage around, most of all talk to your husband be honest and truthful, now is not the time to try to spare any feelings if you want to resolve this.
I don't know if this will help you but I went thru something similar when I first married, got help and all I can say is that in August we will be celebrating our 25th Wedding Anniversay..Good Luck!
2006-06-28 16:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by GrandmaW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage follows the same natural law that governs nature--- what goes up must come down. It might be too soon for your case, but wherever you'll go or whomever professional help you'll ask from you'll learn it is a natural course any human relationship should (especially marriage) should go. Let this be an opportunity for both of you to deepen your love. Nobody says marriage is going to be easy, right? But, no one can ever say also that marriage is not worth trying for! Trust me, if you hold long enough down there, you both can also defy the law of gravity. You one day can shoot your relationship up again.
2006-06-28 16:22:13 · answer #7 · answered by Bro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's probably not the best. You should still feel the spark if it's only been a month. Try talkin to your husband. See what he thinks. If he feels the same way then it's time to seperate.
2006-06-28 16:10:23 · answer #8 · answered by nobody is home 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything will work out fine, that happened to be the first months of my marraige. I've been married only for a year now, and things will start to get better, sometimes is the changes in your life, that make you think negative. Think positive, have patience, and try to enjoy it. Good luck
2006-06-28 16:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by Scarlet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either made a big mistake, or you're not trying very hard! Do something romantic for your husband - take him to a fancy restaurant, or do something as simple as cook him dinner or give him a cute card. The whole point of being married is to be with someone you love and have fun with. Make it happen!!
2006-06-28 16:06:20 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋