When is it abandonment?

Question

I was rewarded sole custody last Aug. over my 2 children from a previous marriage. The judge gave my ex-husband the right to see the children every other weekend and to continue paying child support ( which judge increased), I did not have a problem with it. However, Ex has only gotten the children for visitation 3 times since that ruling. Last time he spent time with them was this past Sept. He has not tried to communicate with the children in any form or made any attempt to see them. My question is, is there a time limit when this behavior can be considered abandonment? And what can or should I do? My ex has been in arrears many times of thousands of dollars. I took him to court for this and he is currently up to date now. I personally have no problem with him not showing, as we are like oil and water,but I wonder and worry how this void affects our children. It's been almost a year! We live in Virginia if that helps. Thanks for any advice.

Answer 1

It will never automatically be considered abondonment without you petitioning the court to terminate the other parent's parental rights. You should contact a Virginia attorney about this. As with every state, the paramount concern is the 'best interests of the child'

Statute: §16.2-283(A), (B)-(E), (G)

Grounds: Abandonment or extreme parental disinterest, abuse/neglect, mental illness or deficiency, alcohol or drug induced incapacity, felony conviction/incarceration, failure of reasonable efforts, sexual abuse, abuse/neglect or loss of rights of another child, failure to maintain contact, failure to provide support, child judged in need of services/dependent, child’s best interest, child in care 15 of 22 months (or less), felony assault of child or sibling, murder/manslaughter of sibling child, voluntary relinquishment, identity or location of parent unknown, aggravated circumstances.

Answer 2

Since you have sole custody your ex cannot be cited for abandonment. The only recourse I can see for you is to go back to court and have the visitation rights modified or revoked. Just remember and think how this might affect your children first. You don't want this to turn into something that your ex can use against you with your children.
ex: child: Daddy, why don't you see us more often.
ex: I would like to see you more, but your mother won't allow me to.

Answer 3

It's considered abandonment when you leave your kids with someone else for a period of time. He not coming around does not mean abandonment (and you wouldn't want it to b/c if that did occur you got those who would try to end child support payments, it's ridiculous, but true).

And as great as it would be that daddy comes around, he doesn't need to. Raise your kids and live your life. When they grow up and wonder why they don't come to see him, let him reflect on that.

Answer 4

My ex hasn't seen his children in over a year now. which doesn't bother me to say the least, but it does bother my youngest son which is 15.
we have 3 kids together, and my oldest want's nothing to do with him, and my daughter who is almost 18 cherishes her dad. Why I don't know!
He has NEVER paid child support, and never calls them. He was abusive to me, and had me scard to go after child support, but now I wish i would of done it..
If he doesn't want to see his kids, it's his lost.
good Luck

Answer 5

Unfortunately a court cannot force someone to see their children. He's not breaking the law as long as he's not leaving them uncared for, which he obviously isn't. As long as he keeps paying his child support, be happy for that.

Answer 6

It sounds as in case you fairly have triumph over it. you're a responsible adult, you're going to absolutely no longer leave your children, and so on. you've actual shown that you're effectual adequate to triumph over this. besides the undeniable fact that it does no longer sound as in case you sense as effectual or as sturdy as able or as lovable as you for sure are. that's the difficulty. For that you want counseling. there is not any longer something incorrect or "weak" in this, even besides the undeniable fact that some will attempt to inform you in the different case. Admiting you want help and getting this can nicely be an indication of a effectual man or woman. Please do seek for a nicely therapist, man or woman who's experienced with abandonment subject matters, and many times someone once you concentration on that of the shape of predicament that's. You usually have get proper of entry to to some free counseling classes by utilizing way of your college, and that i inspire you to commence there. they in many circumstances would no longer be equipped to take you the total way that you in person-friendly words could bypass, besides the undeniable fact that they are going to be equipped to provide you a start up and could advise someone locally who will be equipped to help. If human beings are telling you that you in person-friendly words could "get over" this and easily no longer trust about it anymore, then they are incorrect. that's in spite of you aren't any more getting over completely, once you concentration on that it became once a huge loss. human beings do no longer actual get over concerns like this, they conveniently contain this into who they are, get help to be conscious what an invaluable and lovable man or woman they actual are (no longer consistently valid help, besides the undeniable fact that that's the least puzzling way), and move previous this trauma to grow to be a healthful adult. It sounds as in case you already are most of the superb way there, besides the undeniable fact that you in person-friendly words do no longer think it. carry in there and get help and also you're going to be each and every of the type there. Oh, and a extra component, bypass ahead and blame your father. in case you were in his downside, you don't desire left, would you? And in case you do not blame your father, you're going to carry blaming your self, a minimum of subconsciously. He became once an adult and likewise you were somewhat one. He became once responsible, no longer you. best of fulfillment to you.