I am still heartbroken after I found out that my wife was having an affair on me and may be possibly pregnant with the lovers baby. June 1st marks what would have been 6 yrs of marriage. She is with the other guy at the moment, so I know what she will be doing.....But what can I do to occupy my mind from thinking about it so much? ( serious answers only please)
2006-06-28 08:40:24 · 19 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
( I meant July 1st ...sorry.)
2006-06-28 08:59:51 · update #1
Well I would suggest that you make plans to be with friends or family and if you need to talk about your pain then let it rip, they will be there for you. If your friends haven't been through the same sort of thing they can listen and offer maybe some helpful advice but it's really important just to have someone listen to you and bounce things off of them.
I know that right now you feel like it's the end of the world, in a way it is the end of the world you thought you had. But in another real way it frees you up to find yourself again and to find someone who is better for you. Obviously she was not a good person and now you are no longer stuck in an unhappy marriage.
It's a greiveing process just like a death, you have to grieve what you've lost (usually it's just grieving the idea of what could have been not what actually was) because I'm sure if you look back at things you'll see that they weren't that great and your really not missing anything.
Just don't be in a hurry to jump right into another serious relationship, it takes time to heal.
2006-06-28 09:14:37 · answer #1 · answered by Fed Up! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I answered your other question earlier so here goes with a crack at this one.
Been there done that!! Been through 2 years of em so far. The day totally sucks-at least both of mine did. Both years I was working full time so at least 8 hours of the day were filled with business. The evenings though were not so easy. The first year I was all alone with my daughter. After she went to bed, I pulled out old photos and had a beer or 10 and just remembered the good times. I even took out my old journals and remembered the bad times and had a few laughs and few cries. By the time I was ready for bed, I remembered why I left and was actually happy to not be spending that time with him. This year, well this year was much better. I still had a tough time, but this year I really remembered why we were not together and I didn't need the beer or the pictures...Things get better I promise
2006-06-28 08:51:45 · answer #2 · answered by la_diablita_1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey what you do is be happy and gratefull you are out of there..... I mean she cheated on you.... let her go and now you have your whole life to get over it... wht you do is that day dont stay at home.Go out with some dudes and go and check out some girls and have a good time.. if you stay home your going to be all sad and miserable so might is well get all dressed up and show off your cute self and dont even think about her twice she is with another dude and someday is going to be her turn...God dont like ugly you will see how she is going to end up..but in the mean time take care of your self and feel guilt free the relationship was over because of her and then pregnant with the dudes baby?? you go and find the girl of your dreams good luck honey.
2006-06-28 08:47:13 · answer #3 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your answer is in your question.
You need to find an 'occupation' for your time. Go and watch a movie, buy yourself a book, do anything you enjoy doing and let go of the past.
Give yourself the time to heal, but help yourself. Thinking a ton of "what if's" will not help you and you only hurt yourself. Like you say.. she's already moved on. You need to be happy because you're free of someone who cheated on you. Why would you want someone like that next to you?
Time heals everything. Be patient.
2006-06-28 08:48:34 · answer #4 · answered by Brujita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for what you are going through. If you have family and friends that are close. Visit them and ask for their help during this time. I know it sounds like a broken record, but try to keep busy. Get outside. Volunteer. That will help you network to get back out there. I wish you the best of luck. Try not to focus on that date. Time will pass and you will look back on this as a time in your life that you have no control over and look forward. Best wishes.
2006-06-28 08:47:52 · answer #5 · answered by buckeye45694 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
record each of the phone calls: the cases and dates he calls. keep and print the emails. keep all this in a folder. it really is more desirable than being an stressful pest-it really is harassment. Have your spouse and youngsters record even as he calls them. keep each little thing! you could replace your type now, why wait? there is not any experience in being bombarded by a psycho ex. Use each of the documents in courtroom also. yet you could document harassment today! you could both get a restrainer order or a no-contact order hostile to him and certain, he would properly be stopped from contacting your spouse and youngsters and acquaintances once you've it in a restraining/no contact order.
2016-11-29 22:14:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch, sorry for your pain.
Women console themselves with a chick flick and a pint of Ben & Jerry's. I think men may retreat into their caves with a 6-pack of ice cold beer. LOL
Seriously though, find something significant to occupy your mind and your time. How about volunteering on that day?
2006-06-28 08:44:49 · answer #7 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surround yourself with people (or a person) you really trust who will support you. Plan a fun event with them that will distract you from this unhappy occasion. If you feel like being alone, make sure that you set up a day to treat yourself to your favorite things. Pamper yourself and make a date just for you.
Regardless, accept the fact that you will think about her, but try not to obsess about it. Instead, work on focusing on the caring people you're with (if you're with others), and the good things in your life.
2006-06-28 08:45:42 · answer #8 · answered by thecentrecannothold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's going to be hard to get over it because it sounds like it is still fresh.....just give yourself time. It's nothing wrong with feeling the pain and hurt over this.....there is healing in that. But what you need to do is occupy your time with the things that you like to do......maybe hang out with your friends or family.........go on a vacation......maybe to Jamaica or The Virgin Islands or somewhere that won't constantly remind you of the anniversary. And in time you will soon forget.....the anniversary will roll around and you won't remember it. Good luck.
2006-06-28 08:46:37 · answer #9 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the both of them. Stay busy, keep your mind off of that and on to something else. Do something with your buddies, watch a movie, read a good book, go on vacation, or etc.
The past has move on, think about the future. Just don't listen to sad heart broken songs.
2006-06-28 08:48:57 · answer #10 · answered by kygl28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋