A friend of mine is older than me, has been with her husband less tiem than I have been with mine, but?

Question

people think its okay for the her to have a baby but not okay for me to have one because she is 30.

Let me explain. I am 23 and have been with my husband for 5 years and married for 18 months. We want to have a baby and everyone is making a big deal about it saying to wait.

A friend of mine is 30, she has been with her husband for almost 2 years and just got married, people have a different attitude about her wanting a baby. They are all for it even thought they haven't really established their marriage as a couple.

I get that she is older than me, but that doesn't mean her and her husband are more likely to stay together than my husband and I. I see it as they are less likely to have a solid relationship (than me) regardless of their age because they haven't been together very long before starting a family. They haven't had enough quiality time together.

It doesn't mean they won't stay married though.

Have you run into this attitude? What do you think?

Answer 1

Quit listening to everyone else. Only the two of you know if it is the right time to start a family. I don't think it has anything to do with how old you are or how long you have been together. Good luck.

Answer 2

The answer to your question (coming from someone just like you who is now 30) you are young and you havn't really lived. Your 30 year old friend has traveled and done all the things that she wants to do (or should have if she was smart). I had my first child when I was 23 and oh how I love that little boy BUT I wish that I had traveled and really settled down with my husband first. I don't care how old you are when you get married stuff happens and you can get a divorce. It has nothing to do with how long you were with the person before you have the child. Take the advise and wait another 2 years before you have a baby. Give yourself time. Time is a gift.

Answer 3

I don't think the issue is weather or not you are going to stay together after the birth of a child. I think the question is Are you ready for children? Not being prepared can drive y'all apart but if you both work together you won't break up. 23 is not an early age to start having kids. Remind everyone that you are not 16 anymore. You are grown and married. Why pay attention to what they are saying anyway?

Answer 4

People advise you to wait....mainly because parenting is a big job. Once you have a child, your life changes. You can no longer just go away for the weekend, or be impulsive. You have to plan more. There is a little person that needs care and they come first.
so, your friends time is running out, she's older. It's harder to have a baby when your older physically, but it's easier to settle into parent hood because you have lived your life...traveled, partied, etc. you can focus on a child more if you've done all that you wanted to do in your life, and most people think that you should enjoy your life while your young. I dont know if all this makes sense to you. good luck.

Answer 5

In my opinion, any of you can start a family. You are right that you and your husband have had the time to be together as a couple and now you are ready. If no one has said it to you before, I'll say it now---GO FOR IT AND GOOD LUCK, MAY GOD BLESS THIS ADDITION TO YOUR FAMILY!!!.

There is no specific age that one should have a baby. In fact, you and your husband desire a child because that is the way you were made by the Lord.

Answer 6

Just get pregnant and once you are and the baby comes. Everyone will accept you as a mother. Good Luck - you almost made me cry cause I can tell you really want to get pregnant without judgement being passed on you. You will be a great mother - it's your life - go for it!! I am 32 and pregnant with my second and I wish I had done it in my 20's!! Ad you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders so I say keep strong and follow your heart - it has gotten you this far!

Answer 7

I came across this when my husband and I got married. We got married in December, and found out we were pregnant 8 weeks later. Our parents told us that it was too soon, enjoy our relationship, etc, etc. We ended up having a miscarriage, but we are still together, and HAPPY. You just have to figure out what is right for you, and ignore everyone else's "good" advice. What works for them won't always work for you. You also have to look at the downsides. Can you afford this child, daycare (if you plan on both working), long nights of no sleep, possible miscarriage or complications during pregnancy. Good luck, and make the choice yours and your husband's.

Answer 8

WHO CARES WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS! They only reason that people think she should have a baby is cuz she is older and "running out of time"
If you feel your marriage is strong and you want a baby than have your baby. It's nobody's bussiness other than your own how you start your family and there are some huge benefits to having children at younger age.
If someone doesn't approve
Tell them to stay out of your life than!
Good luck!

Answer 9

Are you and your husband ready to have a kid? It's the only question you have to answer! No matter what people say, you're the one living your life, not them. I got pregnant when it was only a month with my husband, and believe me, ppl told me alot of things about it, but we're the one it that situation, and that are gonna be raising that kid. If the ppl you're talking about loves you, and are you true friends, they'll understand your decision no matter what it is. Child don't come with a manual, so as each of us, you'll know when it's the best time for you both to start a family. have a good day :)

Answer 10

I think they are thinking about her age in the situation because the longer you wait to have children the more complications there can be. They probably just assume you guys want to have your time before it is filled with kids. If their attitude is bugging you a lot you night tell them how you feel. It may hurt their feelings at first but the resentment you will build up is not good either.