how do you get a woman interested in sex after being married for ten years?

Question

i love her with all my heart but she is a few years older than me and she just says she doesnt want to make love as often any suggestions

Answer 1

h a

Answer 2

While I'm not sure if she's pre-menopausal or if she's 80-years-old, I will take a couple of stabs at an answer. I've been married 18 years and at age 42, we're once or twice a week but it's awesome (and we have 4 kids under 13 -- we have to be careful n' quiet)

Oh, jeez... did I just say that stuff out loud?

I believe and I've heard it said, "Men are like microwave ovens and women are more like crock pots?" As far as arousal goes, I'm pretty confident in thinking that a guy can be turned on with the flick of a switch (so to speak) while most women still want a relationship attachment; be it, helping her with her day, letting her know how much you love and need her, having her feel that you want her and not just a warm, wet spot for 10 minutes.

Hey, don't get me wrong here. I'm not talking like the women are the ones who have THE hang-ups as far as sex goes -- we guys are the weaker sex; we're the idiots if we think that it's all about the 'O' and not about the relationship.

Guys, if your sex life is dwindling, try being nice to her for a couple of days -- sometimes it helps if you pull open the front of your pants, look down, and scream, "shut up!" okay, I have no idea where that came from, but try it.

Answer 3

Have you tried creating a very romantic date night? Do you keep asking for sex? If you keep asking, she might feel like it is a chore instead of a pleasurable act. She might be exhausted. If she is working full time or has kids her sex drive could be lowered due to exhaustion. A woman also likes to be pampered, take her out to a nice dinner, maybe see a movie, give her a massage. Spoil her a little bit, tell her you appreciate her. You guys might have gotten into a rut, but we women like romance and flowers. If you have done all that and she still feels the same way, it is possible that her sex drive is low. Try taking a romantic vacation, that might help. Good Luck :) Or you could go to the bookstore. There is a great book out there that is called "1001 ways to be romantic". They have some great tips :)

Answer 4

Well i read some where that men have their sexual peak in their 20's and women in their 40's. That may have something to do with it. Also all marriages have their cool off time. She may want something more than just sex. Maybe more of the loving and foreplay with out the sex. Just tease her and then don't have sex, fall asleep or if you're stimulated go release and take a shower. Also remember the beginning of your relationship and what she liked.

Answer 5

Patience, grasshopper. A woman cannot be rushed, especially with sex. Whether it has been 1 year, 5 years, 10 years or even 30 years. It will spark her interest once it's been too long, she'll crave for you.

Answer 6

From past experience, they may be something wrong when she doesn't want you affection. That's part of the relationship. It takes two to make it work. Hard to say, but have a sit down with her to find out if she is interested in you or the past relationship. Sometimes, they don't get over 10 years easy;

Answer 7

As often? Depends how often you're having it already, if you guys have it like 5 times a day and you still want more, maybe she's right but if you're having it like 1 time a month, then I suggest you go back to what brought you two together--do romantic things for her-send her flowers, take her on moonlight walks on the beach or in the park, have a picnic in the park with her..... Stuff like that naturally gets women turned on because it's a way you're showing her you love her and that you want to be with her still....

Answer 8

Try lacing some romance and tender nice things around your desire to explore your participation in things that she is interested in or helping her with her desires. Often times the fire that you build will resemble a rekindleing of love and we all know what happens when you build a fire like that in any woman regardless of age. Uh huh, that is right. Make her your focus and become involved with her life and take your vitamins. Don't ask any questions later about how do you tell her enough is enough, just be careful what you ask for.

Answer 9

How are things in other areas of the marriage? Nothing kills your interest in sex like; tons of housework, helping kids with homework, cooking, getting kids into bed, doing the laundry and etc., all without the help or appreciation of the husband. Try taking her away for a weekend, without the kids. You make all the arrangements and while away from home make no mention of any of the problems that were left there. Get to know each other all over again.

Answer 10

My pastor and his wife teach about marriage and sex in the marriage.

My pastor always says that if the wife isn't all that interested, then the husband is not doing something right.

My husband was definitely helped by listening to our pastor's advice and is doing a much better job of keeping me interested.

If you want to hear what he has to say, you should go to our church website at:
www.worldchangers.org

Email me back through the answers.com forum if you want me to tell you the exact CD that my husband listened to.

God bless you and your wife with a long happy and fulfilling marital union.

Answer 11

My husband and I have been married ten years also and I know that what works for me is when he tries to make me feel special all day, complimenting me and being affectionate. I know it is alot of work but well worth it when the sun goes down. Good luck.