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Every time i tell my friends my sexual orientation they take it personally and pust me away as if i was a different person... WHY?
they liked me before why not now?

2006-06-28 08:19:00 · 13 answers · asked by ZomgLaserGunPewPewPew 1 in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

13 answers

Well for starters, those are not your friends. Those are acquaintances. When they push you away, you learn that they will never become more than that.

I am sorry that you continue to encounter such closed minded people. It isn't your fault.

I think the only solution to this is to tell these people, upon first encounter, that you are not straight. Maybe these people get all paranoid and think back to past experiences, and wonder if you secretly have had a crush on them the entire time. Lame I know, but people are so egocentric these days.

2006-06-28 08:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by fallenangel 2 · 4 3

It is because they are conditional friends. They are your friends on the condition that you conform to the status that they want you to be and not what you really are. Most people wear their sexual orientation on their sleeves. Some on their ring finger. Yet, heaven forbid that someone should openly admit to being gay, lesbian, bi or transgendered. Since you probably don't wear a rainbow flag all the time, you have to tell them in order for them to know, even if you may drop hints. People sometimes see what they want to see. It is a shame that they will see you differently just because you are honest, but it only serves to demonstrate how dishonest they are when they turn on you for not being who they want you to be.

2006-06-28 09:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I agree it's because they think you will be interested in them. Just tell them that they aren't attracted to every man/woman they see, neither are you. Some people will accept that and it won't be an issue, others will not be convinced. Your real friends will stick around, but also you should give them some time to adjust. It can be a shock to hear, they might need a few days. Don't take it so persoanlly.

2006-06-28 08:39:16 · answer #3 · answered by advicemom 4 · 0 0

idk... I have friends gay, straight, and bi.

Maybe they are afraid that your admission is a way of letting them know you are interested in them... and that makes them uncomfortable. Try making it clear that you aren't when you tell them.

Get their feelings about people with your sexual orientation before you disclose. Then, if they reject the lifestyle, you'll understand it isn't about you, it's about them.

Whatever you do, be open about who you are. If the acqaintances you have won't hang around after finding out the truth, they weren't very good friends anyway. In time, you'll build a collection of true friends who love you for who you are...

2006-06-28 08:29:58 · answer #4 · answered by juniemoon 3 · 0 0

Because they knew you or thought they did before you told them, and since you waited so long to tell them (if you knew ahead of time) they feel they cannot trust you or that they really do not know who you are because of it. Or they are just homophoes, and feel that you are not worthy of their friendship anymore. I know how it feels when i came out to my close friends i lost almost all of them, and then my second set of friends i lost a lot of them as well, some said they knew, some wished they had because they were interested but afraid to say anything themselves.

basically, if they cannot handle it they are not worthy of your friendship, if they can keep them close.

2006-06-28 12:29:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You do not say what your sexual orientation is. If it is sleeping with puppies then I think I know why they are shying away from you.

2006-06-28 09:09:27 · answer #6 · answered by bigbob2 2 · 0 0

sometimes its hard on friends and family. some just dont have the right mind set to be able to accept it. Others were raised to believe that it was wrong and to not associate with GLBT people. your TRUE friends wont judge you and will certianly stick by you no matter what. dont worry about it.

2006-06-28 08:24:33 · answer #7 · answered by Molly M 3 · 0 0

Maybe you should keep it a secret unless you really have to tell them. Like if you have feelings for them and you told them about it, then it would come out. But if you are just friends then they really don't have to know.

2006-06-28 08:40:14 · answer #8 · answered by Ricky 2 · 0 0

Peolpe are scared of what is "unnormal" to them. Don't sweat it. You will find friends that love you for who you are no matter what. At least you know now that they aren't real friends.

2006-06-28 08:32:47 · answer #9 · answered by LMPZ 1 · 0 0

They think you are going to hit on them.. there's no polite way to say, "Uh...I'm gay, but I don't find you attractive....your hideous, so um..don't worry. but........not everyone feels that way. I have gay fiends. My best friend is bi, but I am not

2006-06-28 08:32:45 · answer #10 · answered by rebecca 2 · 0 0

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