My 24 yr. old son is mentally retarded. When his father died we lost our home and he went to live with his older brother. I remarried but he wished to stay with his brother. His brother loves him but is not a very good caregiver. The county that we live in will provide no services. My husband says he won't move to a different county and that my son cannot live with us. Any suggestions?
2006-06-28 08:11:58 · 21 answers · asked by bitten1shy2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What a shame that your husband is trying to make you choose between him and your son. With that said, I would recommend some sort of marriage counseling and maybe some caregiver training for you and your husband. Being a caregiver will change your life situation but it does not have to destroy your ability to have a life of your own. Plus, get out and advocate for some services in your area. That is reprehensible that there is nothing offered. Good luck to you, this is a tough situation.
2006-06-28 08:17:24 · answer #1 · answered by glitterprincess 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all you are a mother.This is your son,somtimes these things happen,if he wasnt disabled i would say you need to move on and let your kids live there own life,but your son needs you and will for along time.Your hubby says he cant live with you or even move so he can move with you and get the help he needs, I hate to say this but maybe he is better off with the brother,his brother maybe not the right care but must want him and love him enough to want to take care of him.Sucks for his brother that he cant live his life so the mother can be happy.Its your child,go back to the day you had this child,he came first didnt he? Sounds to me the new hubby is emberresd to have your son around,cause any man who truly loved his wife would understand and a real man would do what he had to to keep the children close and made sure mom was happy and not away from her kids and if he loved you so much he would love what is yours
2006-06-28 08:21:12 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should seek services in another neighboring county, that way you can visit your son on a regular basis. Judging from your son's age, he may benefit from living in a group home environment. I think that your husband was being very cold-hearted to make a statement like that about your son. If he can not at the least have a little sympathy towards his wife's son, I have to question his status as a man.
2006-06-28 08:18:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've gotten yourself in a pinch.... did your new husband know that your son might live with you before he married you... did you lie to him or is he being an asshole. i mean one way or another one of you is a SCREW UP. And what wrong with the older brother... you said he isnt a good caregiver... is that an honest opinion or are you still trying to hold onto your retarded son and not letting things grow. I think you need to step back and look at your true feelings and the feelings of those around you and make GOOD HONEST DECISION...
sorry for being harsh but seems like it could have been avoided and now the problem is much larger
2006-06-28 08:18:07 · answer #4 · answered by Grin Reeper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Under no circumstance would I ever stay with a man that did not support my sons needs? At any age!!!!
Sorry, but it sounds like your husband is a very selfish, selfcentered, cold hearted person, You should leave him!!!!!
You should never abandon your child for a man. God will help provide the answers if you are doing the right thing.
2006-06-28 08:17:19 · answer #5 · answered by DeltaQueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditch your loser husband your son didn't choose to be born and he needs the best care for him. Being a mother is something that is selfless but all your being is selfish. I am glad your son doesn't know what kind of person you are.
2006-06-28 08:16:39 · answer #6 · answered by R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm probably in the minority here, but you only children are gifts and husbands are a dime a dozen. I'd lose the husband if he was that cold hearted. If you don't take care of your son, who will?
2006-06-28 08:16:42 · answer #7 · answered by Tia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a penis for making you choose. If he cant love you enough to help you help your son, he has to go! No real man would ever do that.
Good Luck
2006-06-28 08:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by mommyof2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL I THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS BEING THAT IT IS YOUR SON.
If anyone and i mean anyone told me my son could not move in with me, well that would be an easy solution I would leave or that other selfish person would be thrown out on the ear..
2006-06-28 08:17:33 · answer #9 · answered by JDINFLA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of your son. What kind of person says he won't help?!? That's just f*cked up. Your son didn't ask to be born and it's not his fault he has the problems he has. It is your job as his parent to take care of him. Good luck.
2006-06-28 08:14:51 · answer #10 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋