My wife would never cheat on me. I know this deep in my heart, but she has lost a lot of weight while I am still the same weight that I have been for years. I get very jealous when she goes out wiht her friends or even just without me. I trust her but I worry that she will find someone better looking than me and decide to leave. Any suggestions on how to get past that?
2006-06-28 07:57:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you can't stop being jealous.it's human nature. just feel lucky that you have somebody. if you know that your wife would NEVER cheat on you then you have no problems.
2006-06-28 08:00:58 · answer #1 · answered by christina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am no relationship expert, but in my opinion the best thing you could do is talk to her about how you feel--in any relationship communication is key, tell her you think she looks amazing since she lost the weight and you'd like to lose some too (since you sound like you worry about that too). You should not be jealous of her going out with her friends, don't you go out with yours? In a marriage there has to be some form of trust and usually the lack of trust comes from either past experiences or lack of confidence in yourself. You should tell her how much you love her, keep your love alive--the love that made you two fall in love and get married in the first place and then you should not worry. You both found something in each other that made you want to spend the rest of your lives together--till death do you part, odds are that she won't throw that away for asthetics on another man.... (And if that's not good enough for her, do you really want a woman of that character?)
2006-06-28 15:03:35 · answer #2 · answered by WoWChick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most jealousy comes completely from within yourself. It's a belief that your partner is with you only because she hasn't found someone better, and so threats to your well-being are everywhere -- at work, school, happy hour, Web sites, dog parks, the gym, class reunions. Even when your partner does act suspiciously, as soon as the suspicious behavior becomes more of a rule than a rare exception, you're also responsible because you're the one choosing to stay with someone you don't trust. In your case, though, the person you don't trust is you, to be able to handle life on your own. That's a heavy distrust to carry around under any circumstances. In every aspect of your life -- family, childhood, school, hobbies, work, fitness, love, faith -- you are the only common denominator. Wife or no wife, you're all you've got. Trust is a leap of faith. You have to just do it.
2006-06-28 15:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it is not a lack of trust for your wife, rather a lack of confidence in yourself. Do you really think your wife is so shallow that she would leave you, her husband, for a "better looking" man? You can't really believe your marriage is based only on how you both look!
Diet and lose some weight, work out and get in better shape, figure out why your self esteem is down right now, and talk to your wife about your fears and concerns. Good luck!
2006-06-28 15:07:36 · answer #4 · answered by Eileen C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very simple go to the gym you can work out yourself while she is out with her friends you can be doing some moderate walking at the LA fitness or Bally's and let me tell you there are plenty fine women there so you won't think about your wife and you will get in shape at the same time and then she will tell on her self if she is doing anything it's called reversed psychology this way you don't have to ask most of the time not all the time but sometime they can tell on them selves. So go to the gym and get rid of that security blanket and she will feel the draft
2006-06-28 15:05:45 · answer #5 · answered by let_it_xhale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time she goes out..go with her. Show her that you love her by being with her. Have conversations. Go for a walks. Talk about little things. If she really is looking for someone else then she will not do the above stuff with you. She will find excuses. On the other hand, how great would it feel if she loves you for spending time with her. Take her to a bed and breakfast.
2006-06-28 15:05:21 · answer #6 · answered by robmarcy13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to let it go... even if the worst were to happen, you'd get through it, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Jealousy is what will destroy your marriage, not your wife's weight loss. I've been on the other side of this... trust me here.
2006-06-28 15:01:43 · answer #7 · answered by Bunny*Run 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she really loves you, she won't be looking for anything else. If you are a really nice guy, with lots to give, and if she knows that you love her VERY much...she will be faithful to you forever. Give her a chance...instead of being jealous and suspicious...be happy for her! Good luck!
2006-06-28 15:05:21 · answer #8 · answered by Susan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are insecure, but aware of your insecurities. Maybe it is time to go out with her. Maybe even consider a healthier lifestyle for yourself. Eat healthier with her and excercise with her. It is much easier when it is done as a couple. Sounds as if she has a higher self confidence with the weight loss and enjoys going out more, you can too! Good luck to you.
2006-06-28 15:01:28 · answer #9 · answered by classybitch_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ruin a good thing just because your wife looks different. IF you are jealous, it seems to me you are self conscious. Do something about your looks to make yourself feel better.
2006-06-28 15:01:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time, the suspicious are the guilty, not saying you are but if you are hiding something from your wife then it is natural to have these feelings
2006-06-28 15:01:01 · answer #11 · answered by whbisondtr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋