Is it ok to have sex outside a marriage or relationship,..?

Question

the thing is you discover that your partner is not as sexually active as you are, bear in mind you love her and care for her, but you feel sexually surpressed because she is only interested every other week. she is not stressed or anything, actually very happy. when i say something she changes the subject, I don't want to masterbate, but would like to indulge in full physical sex. what should i do....

Answer 1

no it's not ok

Answer 2

Usually, no.

But sex is a human need. If you're not getting it at home, it's perfectly natural for a man to start thinking about getting it elsewhere. Thinking on it and acting on it, however, are two very different things...

Before having an affair, you should talk with your woman and probably seek some couple's therapy. Be sure to be open to the idea that you're not pleasing her in bed, perhaps she's not interested because you haven't quite figured out how to press her buttons yet. There's no shame if this is the case--every woman is different in what turns her on and you may not have figured out what makes your current lady tick. Also be open to the idea that she may have issues from prior abuse, rape, or whatever, and may need to work these issues out. But mostly, try your best to be open and non-judgemental.

If you can't come to some arrangement where you're getting the sex you need, then you have some hard choices to make. Basically, you can either leave her or have an affair. Personally, I would take what I consider the moral high ground here and break up with her rather than cheat. Cheating just seems so seedy and wrong to me. But if you decide to go with the latter, you might consider letting her know about it BEFORE you start doing it. As crazy as it sounds, there are couples out there who are together and happy for every reason except the sex, and maybe you and your lady are one of those couples.

But in any event, you do need to let her know that you're needs are not being met in this department. Yes, it's time for you and your lady to have a talk.

Answer 3

Listen...I've been married for 17 years and I know exactly what you are going through. I'm going through the same thing. I'm sure you have talked to your wife a number of times about this and told her your feelings and needs! I know I have...it doesn't work. Things get better for a week or so and then they slip back to the same old stuff...nothing! people will ONLY change if they WANT to...not because you ask them to.
I'm sure you love your wife and don't want to hurt her...I feel the same way.
People stop with the VOWS junk...they both took the vows...she isn't keep ing them so why should he? I'm not saying that she is intentionally breaking them...but let's be serious here those vows mean nothing! They are just part of a "religous ceremony"!!!
People get married for the commitment and security of being together...that isn't changing.
But should you go through life being sexually frustrated and constantly wanting and needing to feel passion. I don't think so...
Go out and find one woman...someone that you can meet discreetly on an on-going basis...someone that is in the same situation...It isn't wrong to satisfy your sexual desires...if you can't do it at home..find one woman that you can trust to help you with it. Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 4

Did you take vows? Did it say anything about forsaking all others, or promising faithfulness or commitment or fidelity?
If so does taking a vow mean anything to you? If you answered Yes to these questions, then I would say that you shouldn't even be asking the question. Besides believe it or not, not many woman are as sexually hungry as men and no you cannot count the ones you have seen in "movies." Sex should not the be all end all of a relationship... if you relationship can't survive with a lack of the desired sex you want it wont last with it either.

Answer 5

First I would sit and tell her exactly how u feel. Open your heart and soul up to her. If it doesnt work- theres really niot alot you can do! Dop u want her to PRETEND she is in the mood when she is not???? NO you swhould not cheat on her! You are in a committed relationship with this woman and you love her! Dont throw it away for some one night quickey! If u have too tell her your thinking of other women and thats how bad it is getting! That might be enough to open her eyes! Otherwise look forward to ALOT of time alone!!!! Try getting her to cuddle with u on the couch. Start by holding her close- stroke her hair, just let her melt into you. Once she feels relaxed and happy she might surprise you and be in the mood! Women NEED romance ya know~!~~~

Answer 6

Don't cheat. It's never ok to do that. Maybe she would be interested in an open relationship since you need more than she does? If not, masterbate.

Sex to some people is much more important than others, but never, never cheat, especially if you really do love her. That's the quickest way to lose her and the cheating probably wouldn't be that good anyway.

Answer 7

Ok so she doesn't feel like having intercourse per se, but what about giving you a hand job, or aural sex to keep you statisfied between intercourse interactions? Will she do this for you? have you asked? Maybe suggest some new things in the bedroom to make it more fun and relaxing for her. And what's so bad about masturbating anyway? I do it, my husband does it.... sometimes we're not around each other when the urge strikes, you know?

BUT DO NOT CHEAT - that's a slimy coward's option that will break the heart of this woman you say you love.

Answer 8

take it from a woman, we go through spurts were we just don't need that physical contact all the time. we feel at the beginning that it is important in order to keep the man and keep him pleased, but once we have him we don't need him as much or as often. so, needless to say, i would evaluate your relationship, and see if this is something that you can live with. the other thing that may be going wrong is that maybe she is having an affair. but it is not ok to have an affair. end the marriage/relationship before you see or be with someone else.

Answer 9

You have to discuss this with her. Try to come to some agreement, a compromise. Or she might have other ideas of what can be done about it.

Sex is an important part of a relationship and a disagreement about "how much" is very common. But make sure you communicate it before something happens that she would not have agreed to and ends up hurting your overall relationship.

Good luck.

Answer 10

you should compromise and if you can't do that you should divorce...you love this woman so if you cheat on her can you imagine how crappy you will feel...trust me you will!! and god forbid if she found out about it...you would rip the heart out of her..and if you have children you would destroy their home...you married her and agreed to love her no matter what in good and bad times..if you still love her how can you betray her like this? just imagine if you gave her a disease...condoms do not protect against everything and some std's don't show up for a long time. you really need to re evalute your heart and how you feel for your wife..could you look into her eyes everyday for the rest of your life and know you have destroyed the love you share for each other? even if you never told her and she never found out you would have to lie in bed with her every night and know what you have done. you could never give her 100% of yourself again.....

Answer 11

Use your hand and a good mag, unless she is agreeable to sex outside the marriage or relationship.

Because she would be far more scarred from finding out you're cheating.

You need to tell her your feelings...she will be hurt by the honesty, but you know what....she may decide to give in a little more once she knows your true feelings!