please help!!!!!my parents don't allow me to see my boyfriend anymore,we've been dating for two years?

Question

I have a serious relationship with my boyfriend,we are in love,we support each other,we trust each other and we plan to move together and get married one day,I am 19 years old and my parents think they can forbid me to see him,I am not even allowed to send him a textmessage,if they find out that I still have contact with him they will kill me,a few days ago I gave him a lift home,my father found out and was furious,I am not allowed to go out or use the car or do anything.I tought about moving out,but I live in a country where 50% of the people are unemployed.I study english literature and I pass all of my exams,I don't drink or use drugs,I am a good student and I try my best to keep my parents satisfied.What should I do,they foot my bils(cause there's no work for right now for young people here),but in three years I will have finished university and pay all the money back,in the meantime I should have a life,privacy,don't I have the right?Please tell me what to do!!go to a psycologist?

he is so lovely and nice to me,he is not bad at all.But i made the mistake to give him a lift home and for my parents it is unacceptable to do such a thing,they want to know personal things about our relationship bit i thihk they don't have the right.any,by the way i live in a damned country called bosnia,where it seems that it is more important what people will think about you than to be yourself and just happy

don't tell me i an too young to get married,I have to bear my kids untill 23 or 24,otherwise it migth be too late for me,because i have some health problems

Answer 1

Get married with him. Tell your family that you want to get married with this guy. Make sure that also his family comes to know about this. Make sure that he loves you as much as you do.

Answer 2

If you want fairy tale answers than go ahead and get married and live happily ever after. If you want to act mature which you must think you are if your talking marriage then deal with some hard core realities. If your boyfriend can make it through the college years without experiencing sex with other hot chicks then you may stand a chance at a real relationship but make him prove his feelings toward you. Don't end up pregnant or married to someone who fathered other kids and paying child support. Your building the foundation for your future don't blow it like so many people do. If your really in love the marriage can wait. So much is going to change in the next few years your feelings might change or his. Please wait. True love won't escape or leave you for waiting. Good luck and above all, graduate.

Answer 3

There is no such thing as too young. I was more ready to get married at 19 than I ever have, and I'm 28. Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't go to college. It took me 7 years and working 50 hours a week at the same time. But why is your parents not wanting you to be with him? Is he not good for you? Take a step back and think who is actually wrong in this... your parents or the guy.

Answer 4

I think you have to talk to your parents about how you really feel of what they are doing to you. Try to talk calmly to them and don't scream or get angry at them, because if you do, they will act the same way and you won't be able to discuss this problem reasonably.
Make them understand that you are already old enough to be able to see your boyfriend. Tell them that you are growing up and you want to live life and that you have to find out things for yourself.
Ask your mom how she would feel if she was in your place. Tell them that you need their support. Tell them that you've been a good student and daughter for them and that they should be pay you bak by them also being supportive and understanding for you.
Aslo, ask them why all they don't let you see him anymore all of a sudden. There must be a reason for them not letting you see him anymore.
Just, don't run away from your house, they are the people that feed you and give you what you need. And if you leave, where would you go? You wouldn't be able to do anything and the situation would get worst.

Answer 5

First you must figure out why your parents disapprove of your relationship. Do they hate your boyfriend or they're just old fashioned?
If it's either of these two the situation's tough. If they hate him (and his really nice) then you both have to fight and prove it. If they're old fashioned, then the marriage thing you said may be a good solution

Now about marrying... You are 19, aren't you??? Aren't you supposed to live a little bit more before settling down? Say ten more years? Ok you love him he loves you but you are still young people for crying out loud. There's even a slight possibility that your parents are mad because of that (which i doupt).

Anyway my humble advice is: Prove your parents you're an adult. If everything else fails ask for help from someone they trust and have him/her put some influence on them about the matter.

And for the love of god, do some more partying and start considering rings, wedding dresses and kids after 28!

Answer 6

Hi, this is quite difficult as you have given alot of information but haven't said what the problem is with your parents and him. Is he too old, a bad boy, is religion the prob? You are 19 and should be able to live your own life , make your own mistakes etc but also should be mindful that you still live under your parents roof and have to compromise with them but certainly that is not enough reason for them to stop you seeing your man. If your parents are reasonable people then talking should be the way to get through this unless there is a bigger more fundamental problem that they can't be shifted on.

Answer 7

The first thing I'd have to ask is, do you know why your parents dislike him so much? Is it possible they see something negative about him that you are unable to see because of your feelings for him? From my experience over the years of growing up, I'd have to admit that probably 80% of the time my parents ended up being right when they would have different opinions than I did about friends, or boyfriends, and pretty much anything else in my life. I use to hate it when they would say I couldn't hang around a certain friend for awhile because I was starting to act, or talk, like them and they didn't approve. Or whatever--
But the main thing I do know and it is sad but true for most anybody in your type of situation, and that is that as long as you live under their roof and they pay the bills and aren't abusive type parents then you pretty much have to abide by their rules. If for no other reason than respect and gratitude. I know it sucks! Believe me!! But things will change eventually, and if this guy really and truly loves you then he will wait until you can move out, or he can do something to change their opinion of him, or something.
In the meantime though, listen to your parents and maybe try and see what it is or why they feel the way they do about him. Usually they can detect something about a person we can't because we are blinded by love, so to speak.
I could go on and on but I won't bore you any longer, at least not now. Hopefully I've helped a little tiny bit, if not, let me know, and I'll tell you some more------
Hang in there, I know probably now it seems like forever until you can make changes but believe me please! time ends up passing us so fast that it is truly unbelievable!! My youngest daughter is turning 19 in Sept. and she still lives with me too. I haven't been crazy about a couple of her boyfriends, but I haven't said much either because I know, thankfully, that time passes and feelings change. I do know she is a smart young lady and I've done everything I can to make her believe in herself and her ability to have or be anything she desires to be!! Thank God for me, that she isn't even thinking marriage yet!! I'd be so lonely, ha ha-- but seriously, I want her to have a successful career first and then meet somebody worthy of her, who she just like to be with because they have fun and are good together, not because she needs help surviving in the world, I want her to be totally independent then find mr. right----
ok-- promise now, I'll shut up-
bye

Answer 8

HI Have you sat down and asked your parents why they dont like the guy? sometimes parents see thing we dont,maybe the see something very wrong with him and they are just trying to help you not make the biggest mistake of your life.do that and if they dnt have a good answer,it means they probably just want you to finish your studies and become someone succesful in life.they probably think if you keep seeing this guy and move out you will stop your study communication is the best so try to find out what happend without screaming or nagging,look at them straight in their eyes and ask why? tell them you love him and want the real reason they dislike him. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 9

This is a very complicated question. One that I can't answer cause You don't give us enough information. To answer this question honestly we need to know:
"WHY" your parents forbid you to see this boy?
*Is he had trouble with the law?
*How old is this boy? Is he younger or older than you?
*What are his plans?
*Is he going to school?
*Does he have a job?
What is your parents financial situation?
*With a 50% unemployment rate have they gone into debt giving
you this educational opportunity? If so, would your throwing it away be fair?

Most parents love their children. And saying no is hard but they have reasons for doing so. If you really want honest well thought out advice then re-ask this question with less drama and more facts. Otherwise your answers are going to be one-sided and solely based on the bias you show by not telling us the full situation.

so I can't answer this one. sorry.



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Answer 10

Excuse me. Your parents need a reality check. You are not a kid anymore. You are 19. That is OVER the legal adult age. People might say I know nothing about that, because I am not even 16, but I do. Just because you live with your parents doesn't mean they can control your life. As long as you pay them back and do your share in chores, I see no reason for you to obey this one rule they have set upon you. I hope this helps!
~Cathryn~

Answer 11

There is only one thing I can tell you to do and that is to pray about it.Your parents seem,from what you say are being unreasonable and from the sound of things I don't think that you can change their mind but God can.Pray about the situation and then try talking to them about it.I do however believe that you are not telling us the whole story.I know that there are a lot of mad people out there and I don't think that your parents are one of them because based on what you said they seem to have done a great job in raising a truly susessful young woman.So for me to say anymore I would need to know what is behind thier change of heart toward your boyfriend.What happend????