We do not have a court order for visitation or child support - I have just been letting him come over and see our 4 mos old twin girls at my house. He has a drug issue and I will not allow him to take the babies until he at least attempts a drug rehab program. I know he has taken his boys (from his own lips) with him when he picks up his drugs. He shared this before the babies were an issue - so do I have to allow him to see them? or can I hold out until he has the you know whats to go to court? and can he get unsupervised visits if I can prove he is a crack addict to the judge?
2006-06-28 07:13:53 · 18 answers · asked by a1025goodgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Upon receiving the first 17 answers I have phoned an attorney and booked myself on Jerry Springer to pay for the attorney - thanks to the "man" for 2 cents- he only builds my case against them.
2006-06-28 07:34:05 · update #1
So far your right about everything...no unsupervised visits...you hold your ground until he cleans his act up or settle this in court...he will either come around less, which means his addiction will be getting worse or he will try and clean his act up and reconcile this relationship so you both can raise the kids together..good luck...do whats right for the kids.
2006-06-28 07:22:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you have been letting him see them, just suddenly stopping the visitation could appear to the court as an attempt to alienate the children from their father. That said, NEVER allow him near the chidren while high, family services could get involved and bring charges of child endangerment against you for knowingly exposing the kids to a harmful situation. Supervised visits are the way to go. If you can proove the drug abuse, the family court will order him to undergo treatment and stay clean for a period of time before he gets unsupervised visitation. Get an attorney right away or go to legal aid.
2006-06-28 14:27:12 · answer #2 · answered by nativeamerican1968 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need Evidence! and Attorney, and support $.
No, you do not have to allow him to see the girls but will that cause you more issues to deal with since he is a druggie?
Supervised visits only and in your home or grandma's is about as far as I would go. If you prove he has a drug problem the judge will only allow supervised visits and request he enters a drug program,more than likely. If he has a job you may get some help financially as well. Trust me, you will need it at some point.
You really need to get legal custody of the twins before he does something stupid, like kidnap one or both of them. My x did this to me and it took almost a year to find him and get my baby back!!! It was the hardest time of my life!
He was on drugs too!
Good luck and prayers are with you.....
2006-06-28 14:22:04 · answer #3 · answered by divaterry1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is no court order, then there is nothing to say he LEGALLY has a right to his kids. You are smart for keeping him away from them. I had the same problem with my ex, taking my oldest son with him to get his drugs. I could have seriously killed the SOB when I found out he did. Start writing everything down that he says or does to show a judge just in case he does decide to go to court. Especially the fact that he told you he took his ohter kids on his drug run!! He doesn't even deserve to be a father in my opinion! I realize drugs are a hard thing to overcome, but until he puts his children and their safety first, (which is VERY unlikely), you should keep them as far away from him as possible. You never know if he has pissed off a dealer, and they could come after the kids to get to him! That was my absolute worst fear with my ex, cause I know for a fact he pissed off a good many people. The judge will probably be able to look at him and tell he is an addict, they aren't hard to spot, especially for someone who probably sees them on a daily basis! Good luck to you, and keep standing your ground!!
2006-06-28 14:24:46 · answer #4 · answered by momx4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are doing the right thing and if the visits at your house are becoming a issue then maybe YOU should go file for a visit order. Most judges can see the picture so if you inform them why you are not with him and that he has a drug problem you should be able to get supervised visits. Another thing if you are breast feeding the girls they may not let him take them anywhere?
2006-06-28 14:23:23 · answer #5 · answered by 4X4 Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO WAY, you have a right to protect your children and you have to do that by putting their best interests first. If you accuse him of having a drug problem in court the judge can order him to a drug test or a hair folical test to find out exactly what kind of drugs and the last time. Judges and the court is their to protect u and the kids,
You don't have to let him in just because he is their father, do what u feel is best for the girls and for yourself,
Best of luck, God bless you!
2006-06-28 14:24:47 · answer #6 · answered by Lori 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are right in letting him have only supervised visits and you can ask the court for this too. As long as you can handle him coming over. Definately get all you can on his addiction to help you in court. The courts main objective is to be sure the children will be safe.
2006-06-28 14:22:01 · answer #7 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind that with there being no court order you are not protected either. You really need to go to family court and have a formal custody agreement done. He could take them and not let you see them either. Go to court and file, request a drug test and psych evaluation on him. Fearing the drug test may get him to sign off on his rights anyway. Good Luck!!
2006-06-28 14:20:11 · answer #8 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you do not have to let him see the babies.. Tell him if he wants to see them to tak you to court. Once the courts here about his past and present use of drugs, they may not even let him have over nights anything like that. IF the courts do allow visitation you can request for supervised visits, from either a court appointed person or a family member. That is if they don't already say they have to be supervised. Sweetie been there done that, I know it is hard, but stick to your guns.
2006-06-28 14:19:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to let him anywhere near them. If he wants his rights, he'll have to show the court he deserves them. I know someone who has, in 8 yrs, NEVER been late on his child support but can't see the girl due to his drug/alcohol problems. he has no rights except the right to pay. I don't blame the mom or the courts, I blame him, if drugs are more important than a relationship with his little girl, okay then.
2006-06-28 14:18:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋