what would you tell them?

Question

hey everyone! (who is gay) when people that are not gay ask or answer questions about gays, you seem to get offended and say that they dont understand you being gay, so explain yourself.

what i ment by "explain yourself" is, you think people dont understand you so......help them understand. it wasnt a command!

Answer 1

Ok, so a brief look through my responses should kinda show you that I do try my best. That having been said, I can completely understand how people get sick of it. It's a constant reminder of all these terrible awful misconceptions that all these people hold about you; it's easy to let it get to you. Is the anger misplaced? Perhaps. But another thing is, there's also a time, a place, and in fact a METHOD for asking these questions. The fact is there ARE many people, especially in forums like this one, who don't really care to understand gay men and lesbians. (gay is an adjective, not a noun). They ask incendiary questions just because they're bored, or grumpy, or God-knows why else. It does help to attempt to differentiate yourself from these; if I truly thought you weren't going to read this, or that you'd read it but not pay attention to any of the parts that actually answer your question, I wouldn't have wasted my time (or my limited "answers per day"; what's up with that?). So, try to be really respectful, realize that while you ARE really curious about a lot of things, these things are often hard to ask without being essentially "rude questions". I always start off (with similar types of things) by admitting that; "could I ask a potentially rude question"? If you admit it might be too personal, most people will probably hear you out, and let you know after you ask it if it is indeed too rude of a question.

Answer 2

I don't get offended if a question is asked out of a genuine desire for knowledge, I do get offended by bashing and hate mongering dressed up to look like a question. That's just plain rude and hurtfull, both of which are unnecessary. As for the answering, how can you answer a question directed towards gay people, if you are not gay, all you are doing then is spewing your ignorance everywhere. That is not offending but it can get annoying!

Answer 3

If people show me respect, I'll show them respect. My friends who are honestly curious about my feelings and experiences get answers to as many questions as they want to ask me. People who come up out of nowhere and appear hostile, however, don't get the same cordial treatment. Like in your question, for example - "explain yourself", you command, like we have to answer to you. That sets people off. Also, you are generalizing about the responses people give - another reason you may get some angry answers.
I hope I've helped - have a pleasant day.

Answer 4

I'm never offended when the question is genuine and the querent is sincerelly looking for an answer.

I DO get offended when someone asks a question and uses that question as a springboard to espouse their (often) hate-filled opinions about me/us. In almost every instance those opinions are nothing less than rude, "faith-based" and bigoted.

Answer 5

I enjoy answering questions about myself and subject pertaining to gay life. It's why I am on here and out. What I don't enjoy is being judged, or told I am a sinner and god does not love me, and I am damned to burn in hell. I don't like being called a gay slur like ****** either.

As for explaining myself. I am a man first. The same as all other men. Equal in God's eye to all other men. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to judge others. I do fail sometimes at this, but at least I try. I love another man and proud he is a US Army soldier. Yes, I love him as I should. Committed to our relationship and monogamy. We want to marry someday. All we want is to be treated equal here in the USA as were are treated and seen as an equal under God's eyes.

I attempt to turn the other cheek to those who try to inflame my passions and beliefs. I will not fight or argue with them. They have the right to say what they believe. however, many out here are trying to pick the fights. When they do and I feel strongly enough I will stand up for myself and what I believe is right.

Answer 6

I dont get offended by people asking questions about my sexuality,it's what i am and i'm pround of who and what i am...i'v been beaten up,spit on and called all the names you can think of by people who dont wanna understand,if anyone asks me a sensible question i would give a sensible answer,if i was being insulted i just try to walk away and be polite.

Answer 7

I really don't get offend. except when they try to be funny or make rude comments about how being gay is wrong. If your gonna answer a question, then answer it without getting inapproriate and start making crude comments or telling me how I should live my life.

Answer 8

I think sometimes it is how they ask.
but I don't mind if whom every ask me a ??? because I think people just don't understand the gay lifestyle so the more people we can get to understand the better for us.

Answer 9

They think that gay people should just put with what ever they say.

Answer 10

I don't get offended when they ask questions if they are genuinely asking a question it is only when they are Flamebaiting that l take offense.