i have been with someone for the past 5 years and all he does is accusses me of cheating he calls me at work to tell me that he has a feeling that i am cheating, which i am not i have to much on my plate with being a full time mom of 5 children with a full time job. He claims that he is not cheating and that he would never do something like that to me. i dont know anymore what to do i dont want to be alone with all my kids and noone there for me but i cant do this anymore i have broken up with him more times than i can count but he always seems to worm his way back into my life. For the first month everything is peachy but after that he becomes this different person and blames me for his feelilngs. Help maybe someone can answer my question of what to do
2006-06-28 06:50:08 · 26 answers · asked by barbie c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I spent 10 years with my first love who did NOTHING but accuse me of cheating. Even after two kids and finalizing my faithfullness with MARRIAGE (which I regreat every day of my existance) YOU dont have to do a DAMN thing to prove that you are what you are, faithfull and a proud mom. Look at how awesome you are with providing for your kids no matter what curve ball life throws your way. It took me to 6 years to stop my putting up with his claims and accusations that I finally dusted myself up one day and realized, (1)How the Hell am I going to keep on putting up with this and (2) why would I put my kids through this? They are such incredible sponges and you are their role in relationships, family and love. My last straw was relationship counseling, that brought out alot of hidden insecurities that I never knew he had as well as shed some light onto several of his accusations. He actually WAS cheating for awhile and guilt wouldnt let him life it down. After 2 months of "trying for the kids" I left. Me and the kids got our stuff together, I fought for full custody and I havent been happier in a long time. There is a sole mate out there for you and HE will FIND YOU, not that you have to force it to happen just because you had kids with the guy. That is the worst reasons. You are making it alone (emotionally, and financially) you can do it without the added pressure of his stupidity. I have all the faith and prayer in the world on your side and you can get through this. You wont be alone, You will be Happy and Stress Free With Your KIDS. They need you. How old is your youngest? How old is your oldest? Dont hesitate contacting me for questions or advice. My heart goes out to you. PrncssNiki@yahoo.com
2006-06-28 07:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by prncssniki 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you don't need to be with someone who accuses you of cheating all the time. You need to end it with him, no matter how much you love him, because obviously he doesn't love you if he calls you at work and tells you that he has a feeling that you're cheating.Well if he got a feeling, then he should act on it, dang! If you cheating, why don't he do something about it, don't call you at work saying,"I think you're cheating." . Leave then! If you're such a cheater and a sleeze, then why is he still with you? You should tell him it's over, then call his behind at work and tell HIM you have the "feeling" that you about to pack your bags, take YOUR kids, get the heck outta that house, and never look back. You don't need some man accusing you 24/7 of something you never did!
2006-06-28 14:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by Brittanie M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably take a step back and look at the relationship and decide if you're 'in love' or just 'in convenience'. Is this the kind of man you want your children to grow up around? I don't know your relationship so I can't tell you what to do, but if it were me I'd kick his insecure butt out and find someone that trusted me until he had reason not to! Listen to your gut and do what you know deep down is right. Best of luck!
2006-06-28 13:57:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him!
This guy's clearly paranoid and/or a control freak. Normal guys don't make such accusations without airtight proof. I can say with about 90% certainty that if you ever end up living with him, you will find yourself in a physically and/or emotionally abusive relationship.
As for the blame thing, it sounds like he might be a "Borderline Personality". Do a search for "Borderline Personality Disorder" and read up. If, when reading up on BPD you suddenly see your life in print, you definitely don't want to stay in this relationship.
2006-06-28 14:11:29 · answer #4 · answered by twiceborne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi my name is Christina and it seems to me that he is overprotectiove meaning he doesnt want the relationship to end he really cares about you and thats great he doesnt want to hurt you, that's what I think so if I was you I would try to spend more time with him and show him that you care about him too and so he knows your not cheating on him. If you need to get a family member to watch the kids and take a couple nights off and spend some time with him.
2006-06-28 14:00:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either he is cheating, or hes just abusive, and trying to break you down and put you on the defense. The best way to not obsorb his negative comments are to "deflect" all of them. He says, " Are you cheating on me?" dont even think about his words.. just say right away "are you cheating?" After awhile he will get sick of himself and leave you alone. Maybe he will just leave, and that wouldnt be so bad either.
2006-06-28 13:56:34 · answer #6 · answered by seamonkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So this is not the father of your children? And you are not married to him? If that is the case loose him you can find someone better. I know it is hard to date with 5 children but the right man is out there for you, don't give up till you find him!
2006-06-28 13:53:06 · answer #7 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd bet the farm he's the one cheating. Check it out. Even so, he's got low self esteem, I'd get out of the relationship even if you find he is not cheating. This isn't good for you or the children. They are effected by this, believe me. Find someone who knows the meaning of trust.
2006-06-28 13:55:59 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problems with my ex. She always on me saying that if I'm 5 min late from work that I was sleeping with someone. Turns out that she was the one sleeping around. She did it to me three times. Wise up, It is like a big billboard sign. HE IS CHEATING ON YOU. Kick his *** to the curb.
2006-06-28 13:56:57 · answer #9 · answered by the_saint1963 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be cheating but then again maybe hes not. Its sure though that hes very insecure. He needs to grow up and have more confidence in himself.
2006-06-28 13:53:53 · answer #10 · answered by rach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋