How do you end a procrastinating husband's ways?

Question

My husband is the world's biggest procrastinator and it drives me crazy. I have been with him for 6 years and things have changed for the better some, but he still lacks in the 'drive for on time' dept. I hate to always ***** at him for this or that, but come on! He realizes he does it too, but that doesn't seem to matter when it comes to getting things done. I am frazzled and over it. Any advice on how to cope with it?

Answer 1

Reminds me of someone...........

I’ll do it tomorrow, I promise you true,
It’s top of my list of the things I must do.
I know that I said I would do it today,
But forgot that my team were playing away.

You know that I never used that one before,
Well maybe - when I should have varnished the door,
But don’t you just call it another excuse,
Never once did I ever complain or refuse.

The lawn it needs cutting, and so does the edge,
The roses need pruning no more than the hedge,
The digging can wait until the first frost,
That saves on manure and cuts down the high cost.

The shelves that you wanted put up in the shed,
Large boxes would do if we used them instead,
The rubbish you wanted moved down to the dump,
I have a flat tyre and can’t find the air pump.

The windows you said that needed a clean,
Was a pure waste of time, to me it did seem,
Not only did I have a dreadful back pain,
But the weatherman said it was going to rain.

I’ll do all you’ve asked me when I’m feeling well,
I know I’ve upset you, it’s so easy to tell,
But there’s no need to sulk, you are, I can see,
Because laziness, have I, ever offended thee?

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Answer 2

You can tell him what to do or how to do it, but not both. Bottom line, he's gonna do things on his own time. We guys usually need time to let something become our own idea before we get around to doing it. Unfortunately for most women, that time seems to approach just as the woman in our lives becomes convinced we're never going to do it, and they ask us if we're ever going to ____________. That comes across as nagging, because we hear you telling us how to do something, which no guy ever wants to hear.

To stop your husband's procrastinating ways, just hold your tongue. Bite it, if necessary. Call your mom, sister, or girlfriend to vent about how badly you want something done, but don't mention it to your hubby. That will just reset the clock. Then you'll have to wait another week or so before it starts to feel like his idea again -- unless you mention it to him again before he does it, thereby resetting the clock once more.

By the way, your hub isn't the world's biggest procrastinator, because many women are married to that person. Your husband is normal, and so are you. But if you stop nagging him, he'll get a lot more done, and in a more timely manner than he does now.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I am a procrastinator like your husband.
I don't know why we are that way, but we are.

One thing to keep in mind is... if you tell him over and over and over again you're not telling him anything he doesn't already know. He knows he needs to do what it is that you've asked him to do. He knows. Constantly reminding him is actually what you want to avoid doing, because to his ears it probably will come across as nagging, which could result in the opposite of what you would like it to.
I would recommend a book called The Five Love Languages, and if you're already familiar with it, great, but my next statements are in reference to what that book teaches.
It sounds to me like your love languages is "acts of service", meaning you feel the most loved when he does things (actions) for you or the family.
Make sure you know what HIS love language is (whether it be quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service, or words of affermation) and make an attempt to really target that, and if he knows what your love language is, he will recognize your effort and reciprocate by doing what he already knows needs to be done and he will have more of a drive to take care of what he needs to do.
I may have totally missed the mark on this one, but just remember that when you said "I do" you made a committment to accept your husband AND all his flaws... all the time. It doesn't mean you have to like EVERYTHING about him, but you are to love him no matter what, which I'm sure you do. Understand that that is his tendency, and though there is always room for improvement, there is no room for perfection. Patience on your part is possibly the most important factor, and NOT negative reminders, which easily comes across as nagging.
It's frustrating, I know. I frustrate myself by being the same way your husband is.
Best of luck. There is hope!

Answer 4

You should have seen this behavior when you was still dating. This is nothing that you will change. You can't bring a change about in him, only he can do that. You just made a poor choice in a husband. The only thing you have at your disposal right now is the awareness of his behavior, and the ability to refrain from asking him to do something that you know he wont do.

Answer 5

You know i meant to go to that class on procrastination but i figured i could do it another time.....

Basically my thoughts, you will never change his ways... you will always be percieved by him to be nagging if you try. If however you can get him to agree to get tested and he does have A.D.D. then they make all sorts of medication to help.

But still the drugs arent miracle drugs.. you still need to have counseling to help mend the ways of an ADD person. It takes a lot of patience and determination.

Answer 6

When I want my husband to do something and I know he will just put it off, I just start doing whatever it is by myself, not asking for his help and usually he will come and take over and finish whatever it is. Its a guy thing I think but it works for me and I don't have to fuss at him to get him to do it. Then I get to tell him how wonderful he is and we both end up happy. Good luck!

Answer 7

Doing that to a mate is a sign of disrespect....time to be reciprocal....if someone pours water on you all the time and you let it happen, they will continue...pour water back on them...and they will get the message....don't make an issue about it...don't get into a battle about it...just a simple Tit for Tat!

Answer 8

It's not going to get any better my husband of 11years is still the same but i love him,(just leave it someone will do it eventually)

Answer 9

You could go on strike and let him know how it feels if nothing gets done around the house.

Answer 10

Give him bonuses.......when he does something right or is on time....give him an extra long backrub or something to the like...I'm sure if he knows if I make it to the whatever on time that he gets a little extra attention himself, he'll be sure to never be late!